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DazedandConfused254
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DazedandConfused254 On hiatus from MSF, except for PMs
 
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Default Jun 01, 2020 at 10:57 PM
  #21
I’ve been reading these posts off and on for awhile instead of responding right away as to not redirect the attention back to myself. And it’s allowed me to gain some healthy insight! I’ve often felt that I’ve been confined to a small subset of people, in the guise of keeping myself diverse with who I hang out with, but it often ranged from squeaky-clean perfectionists to downright toxic, in other words, it was either not even a dang it to freely use the big bombs for conversation or verbal abuse. But everyone here posting have helped me gain a greater perspective beyond what I’ve seen that led to the rather B&W thinking I’ve been guilty of in recent times.

Thanks so much everyone for pitching in and sharing your opinions!

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DX'd Moderate GAD and depression in April 2021. But it is only a part of me, not defining me.

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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 06:25 AM
  #22
Glad we helped!
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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 11:27 AM
  #23
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Originally Posted by DazedandConfused254 View Post
Odd topic, I know, since everyone seems to do it anymore, but I need some tips so I can express myself only the way I desire,.

Profanity has always met me with mixed reviews. I grew up in an environment that discouraged me from swearing, and both parents stopped it when I was born but have since reintroduced more mild “4-letter words”. And of course there was the bad language that most older teens indulge in. Except for the occasional guilt over something I said or the sick feeling after an f-bomb or religious profanity I largely condoned the behavior.

Now for the part of my life (college and beyond) when I became obsessed with following the crowd to seek approval and fit in. After a period of occasional mild language I stopped swearing completely since I was with a hyper-conservative religious group in college that didn’t tolerate it. After leaving this group upon discovering its effects on my mental health, I cared a bit less about my use of words like before this mess. Then following a summer intern, which was even worse about lack of diversity in personalities and hobbies than the sect I was involved with, frequent and abrasive language became part of my repertoire. What began as a shoddy attempt at sounding like my coworkers turned me into the typical offensive college student for a few years.

Then when I finished up college and came home, I knew I had to do something about my language, as I had some best friends at home who didn’t cuss at all, and my father, even with the fair amount of swearing he does, chastised my habit because of the negative vibe that I gave with each curse bomb. I took this to heart; he was right that most of my swearing came from an angry heart, battered by years of people pleasing for the shallow types. But at the same time, I feel like I’ve been lied to. The same person who corrected my behavior also swears with some regularity, even using stronger words in annoyance over the behavior of our pets, and sometimes dropping religious exclamations/profanity, something I hate even when I swore like a sailor. Now that I’ve realized the inappropriateness of my gratuitous language, especially with my friends who don’t cuss, I’ve once again re-sensitized to coarse words. I know I’m not perfect, as I’ve gone through the loose lips stage at some point. But after a couple of unsuccessful attempts to set boundaries with what my mother and I are comfortable hearing often turning ugly, I’m all the more resentful towards people like my dad, as such a behavior is a harsh reminder that I should either be like everybody else, or shut the front door (comic relief - !).

What do y’all think? Is there anybody else besides me who doesn’t tolerate profanity well (movies, music, everyday life)? Or am I just here to suffer alone because I can’t express myself/live my life the way I want to?


I learned to swear at the age of 9

my mother introduced me to southpark at that age, I didn't know any diffrent... I just coppied what they said on the episode

that said: I hardly ever swear. I might sometimes mutter the odd word under my breath, but never out loud

as for music with swearing in it, it depends on the context

their are some songs where I will listen to it because it's okay to me, but other times (when they are making fun of a person/ race/ what ever, I won't)

I like the lonely island song I'm on a boat. it just makes me laugh
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DazedandConfused254
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DazedandConfused254 On hiatus from MSF, except for PMs
 
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Location: Coahulia y Tejas
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Default Jun 04, 2020 at 12:47 PM
  #24
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Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
I learned to swear at the age of 9

my mother introduced me to southpark at that age, I didn't know any diffrent... I just coppied what they said on the episode

that said: I hardly ever swear. I might sometimes mutter the odd word under my breath, but never out loud

as for music with swearing in it, it depends on the context

their are some songs where I will listen to it because it's okay to me, but other times (when they are making fun of a person/ race/ what ever, I won't)

I like the lonely island song I'm on a boat. it just makes me laugh
Thanks for sharing! I don’t watch South Park but it was the most talked about show when I was in high school lol

I’m actually pretty similar to you. Most people who know me well know that I view swearing negatively so I don’t do it except for extreme circumstances.

Much of my music of my childhood (rock n roll, alt rock) has profanity and heavy topics (sex, drug use), but I knew early on not to let that music or other media influence me. Now that I’m expanding my horizons but also don’t want to engage in songs that are outright tolerant of violence, racism and hook ups, I don’t like a lot of modern music, particularly hip hop. But I will still keep an open mind, as long as those features are not the driving force to the music. So it’s refreshing to find someone else who has the same judgment.

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DX'd Moderate GAD and depression in April 2021. But it is only a part of me, not defining me.

"If you can dream it you can do it!" ~ Walt Disney
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