Facebook (reluctant to join, but may need)

Do you use Facebook? Do you like it? Do you worry at all about privacy, advertising, tracking, wasting time with it?

I've successfully (kind of militantly!) avoided it until now.

But, there's a really cool class coming up on personality stuff, run by people that I absolutely love and respect and think I'd learn a lot from.

And, part of the class is a Facebook community where people interact, post questions, make announcements, etc.

I was able to ask if you can do the class without Facebook, and the answer was "sure... some people do... but... you miss a lot of the community."

The woman teaching mentioned that she hates it too, but hasn't been able to find anything else that really works as well for them. She also said it's fine to set up a fake profile to participate (though I thought FB was working to identify/crackdown on those).

I've run into this in a couple other situations too, where I end up missing out on staying connected with a community because everyone else is on FB, and I'm not.

So - I'm curious what your experiences have been. If you have set up a fake alter-ego to be on FB, if you've successfully limited your time on there to participate in specific groups, how you avoid the drama and the time-suck, and how you protect your privacy, if that's an issue for you.

Thanks! The class looks like so much fun, and I really need something fun in my life right now... b/c - you know, everything is kind of blah. So I'm trying to really give this some thought to see if I could make it work.

My daughter is really after me to join. I'll be interested in what people answer to you. Plus there's a lot of the local community on it. Our grocery store here announced a peach give away on their fb page. That would have been nice. But we didn't learn of it till it was over with.

I enjoy it. Im in a couple of groups for whole food eating, and i keep in touch with a few random cousins, cousin-in-laws, high school buds. Its funny about the cousins - its a real cross section. I tend to "your my best friend!" everybody, but the reacher-outers seem to find and enjoy each other.

As long as you dont take facebook that seriously its ok. Part of the issue with social media is the fact that very often people will be "braver" than normal and some people use facebook as a way to debate politics or gossip and you cant take the bait if that is what happens. In the political climate that we have now, some people have crawled out from under their rock and act like assholes. If someone starts to get nasty on my page I usually warn them and then delete them if it continues. Some people make facebook the center of their universe and its not always healthy. Some people think that its ok for them to let their " true colors" show and those colors can sometimes be out of line. I think as long as you have good boundaries and not tolerate any nastiness you should be ok.

What do you mean by "fake account"? Would you not use your real name? I have my first and then middle name as my last name (so no last name). No pic of my face. Facebook is fine with it. I think they want as many users as possible. If you're not abusive I'm assuming you'd be ok.

You could use it just for the class. Though facebook is designed to be addictive. (Maybe it won't affect you tho. I just think its important for ppl to know). And its hard to leave now bc you have to deactivate your account first, then not log in for a month or two before they will delete it. Again, none of that may "affect" you.

Good luck

I use a fake account too. I have both my real one (for friends to find me) and my "fake one". I am not allowed to say anything under my real name on the internet so I have a fake account. You can switch back and forth between the two. I think you just need two e-mails. I am sure facebook can still track me but what does Zuckerberg care about me. I just pull down a fake photo (mine is currently of a 1960s celeb and you would be surprised at how many people don't notice).

On my real facebook page I got rid of about 75% of my friends and now I only have people I won't be able to interact with otherwise.

Just wanted to say @guilloche, if you do decide to open a Facebook account, get a Facebook ad-blocker for your specific web browser. That way you won't see any ads targeting you. It's great.

Ooh, thanks for all the advice... I very much appreciate it!

And, yup! I totally meant a fake name. I'm not super social, and the thought of people from my childhood enthusiastically finding me and trying to connect kind of makes me bristle. Nothing against them, it just... I don't know, feels weird.

I wouldn't plan on "connecting" with anyone, and would just use it for the class/group, and possibly a few other classes/groups as needed.

Ha... I've always wanted to change my first name in real life, so this could actually be a fun test run for that!

Anyway... I'm super excited for the class, but not sure I'm going to do it this time around now. It's expensive and ends in a live class in November, that I'm probably not going to feel comfortable traveling by then. They did say that if you miss this live class, you can attend one of the following ones (no extra fee), so that's nice... but I think it might not be the best use of cash right now. (It's super interesting to me, but probably not very practical.)

I have to think some more, but I really appreciate the feedback on Facebook. You guys have made me feel a lot better about it - and given me some good ideas for ways to manage it! Thank you all!

I use Facebook a lot and have two accounts - one with my real ID and the other a fake name that I originally set up to play a game that is now defunct, so I use it for debate groups. I don't use my real name for those as people have been known to look people up to harass them or contact their employer etc.

As long as you don't make waves, Zuck and co. will leave you alone.

I think the key to feeling comfortable on FB is to control it. I keep my page private, restrict it to IRL friends, don't post in public groups, don't play games or take "quizzes" (which are just data-mining), don't accept friend requests from people who have no connection to me, don't post photos that are identifying (FB makes them public), don't answer sponsored posts, and, yes, set up an ad blocker.

I did set up a second account that was "fake" for use in certain classes I taught, but have since deleted it.

I used to be in a pretty cool bipolar group over their. unfortunately, I got involved in a debate (non bipolar related), and some pretty hurtful things were said

I deactivated my acount and i have never looked back

plus: I don't have family. I don't have friends. I only went their for the bipolar group (whhich I now have here). I don't really need it anymore.

as for fake profiles, I hear if you're account does get disabled it's a lot to get it recovered (telephone number, uploaded ID, loads of security checks)

I've had a Facebook account for at least eleven years, probably more. When I opened my account Fb had a nice, simple format. No ads. Easy to use. It began as a college-age social media site, but that kind of drifted away when older people (like me) joined.

Without Fb I wouldn't have any contact with life-long friends that live in other cities or states. I also wouldn't have nearly the amount of contact I have with my (adult) children and some extended family members.

I have been in a few Fb groups. None of them ended well for me, but that's probably because I was manic and went off. Same with fake profiles that I created when manic. I was convinced I was doing a great thing at the time, but the result was not great, at all. (By that, I mean fierce arguments.)

Since I've been stable on meds and in therapy Facebook has worked out really well for me. I refuse to allow myself to enter into foolish debates that rapidly turn into ugly arguments. It takes discipline, but I do it.

I use Fb for news, especially my local news. I don't spend a load of time on the site. I have never had any problem with security stuff.

I Am on Facebook. One complaint in my experience is the FB support groups. For example I belong to a Waardenburg syndrome support group and they are hardly any feedback.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mugwort2 I Am on Facebook. One complaint in my experience is the FB support groups. For example I belong to a Waardenburg syndrome support group and they are hardly any feedback.

Yes I find that too. And have you noticed the poor discussion quality? Everyone uses their phones I think and posts things like "no way right?"

People can't seem to slap together two sentences.

I made a group and 30 people joined and I was the only one talking. So after a month of no one posting -- I closed it.

Thanks, it's really interesting to hear everyone's perspective. I think I'm more open now to trying it, if I were doing the class.

I'm still a bit on the fence about the class. I'd love to do it, but it's a little expensive, and not really practical (though I'm very interested) - it's on personality typing stuff. The live event at the end sounds so incredibly cool, but the reality is, I seriously doubt I'm going to be comfortable traveling anywhere by November. So, I might sit this one out and try to pick it up they next time they offer it.

Thanks!

I honestly am disliking Facebook more and more these days. I post something political on occasion on there and I always feel bad afterwards. I just hate that we all have to express our opinions on Facebook these days (or at least perhaps that's Facebook's goal).

Personally I would avoid Facebook if possible. There are benefits but if you’ve lived happily without it this long then I doubt the benefits outweigh the hassle of it.

Facebook can be a big time-suck. I swore I would never use it. I do now and I have also found that it can offer a lot of good. Like anything else, take the good and leave the bad and self-monitor your use. Just log on say, at the end of each day.

I love Facebook.. But I also control who I have on it and what pages I like.. I follow numerous TV show discussion pages, Photography, Art , music etc etc .. I can spend hours scrolling..

I keep up with Family and friends. I have had some people over the years, even a couple family members cause me grief and I simply blocked them and went about my day..

LilyMop - I don't necessarily disagree, but if I took this class - Facebook would be the way that they interact with all the students. They use it for announcements, but more importantly, for a monthly (I think) Q&A session about the material.

When I asked, they said that some people certainly do the class without FB, but they thought it would be highly limiting, since part of the benefit of the class is that you become part of a community (that you access even once the class is over).

The class is on learning to do meyers-briggs style personality typing, and having people to discuss that with, ask questions, and compare notes - I could see that as invaluable. I haven't really found a good online forum for it either. The MBTI subreddit is mostly filled with jokes, it's hard to find people having a serious discussion, at a deep level, of how the various cognitive functions work (sadly!).

Anyway, the class registration closes out tomorrow. I'm so torn! I really think I'd LOVE doing the class. And I'm so generally bored, sad, and unmotivated right now - it would be great to have something like this to participate in, and some people to connect with (I'm pretty isolated).

But, it's expensive, and I'm not sure it's the best use of money right now... I've got a couple other things I'm trying to do/figure out. Plus, the "live" part of the class is in November, and I just don't see myself being ready to travel by then. It's not a huge deal, if I don't go, I can pick up one of their live classes later on (they do them every 6 months or so) - but I'd hate to do all the coursework, then have to wait 6 months or a year before I can actually go to the live event.

Phew. Sorry, I'm clearly still processing a bit over it.

I appreciate all the great advice re: FB. I'd probably sign up with a fake name (I want to change my name anyway, so it's always fun to try out something new!), lock down the privacy filters, install an ad blocker, and honestly, I wouldn't really do any "connecting" with anyone. I'd just join the group and work through that. Not sure how I'd handle the "time suck" aspect... maybe just set up a specific time, once a week, to get caught up with the class.

You all have given me lots of great ideas though, thank you for that!!! *hugs*