advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 21, 2020 at 01:28 AM
  #1
I do. We had to move my daughters' b-day party to tomorrow. (she's 17). I have a very very old house(over 200 years) and while that sounds like it could be neat, over the years, previous people just slapped quick fixes on stuff. My furniture doesnt match, carpets are horrible. Kitchen and bathroom has a leak. So many things are always under repair. I am having family over and I know that they are not under the impression that I am some neat person but I have so much to do and am overwhelmed. I work for the census now so I have that from 9-1 this morning. I have to make potato salad, pasta salad and grocery shop. I need to clean the kitchen and bathroom from top to bottom. I need to straighten my laundry room because coming in from the back yard you cut through there. Its an outside deal because of covid but people will need to come into use the bathroom and stuff. The yard is ok, have to clean up the furniture. How can I get this all done without freaking out>>>???

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
2inchtallman, 3rd rock, Anonymous48746, downandlonely, eskielover, MuseumGhost, Open Eyes, Soupe du jour, unaluna, WovenGalaxy
 
Thanks for this!
Medusax, MuseumGhost

advertisement
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed NoahsArk30
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
8,655 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 21, 2020 at 02:41 AM
  #2
Yeah I always just hide when we have people over. It makes me nervous because I know I’ll eventually have to face them. I try to just deal with it but I always fail.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden
Mountaindewed is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
downandlonely, Soupe du jour
 
Thanks for this!
sarahsweets
eskielover
Legendary Wise Elder
 
eskielover's Avatar
eskielover has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,701 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
14.5k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 21, 2020 at 05:29 AM
  #3
Lol....my dogs bark continually when anyone comes in the house or even rings the doorbell. Best excuse for never having people come over. Will be interesting when my neighbor comes over to redo my kitchen pipes in my basement so they quit clogging up. Will probably put them outside in their x-pen

__________________


Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
eskielover is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Medusax, MuseumGhost, Soupe du jour
 
Thanks for this!
Medusax
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 Tired!!!
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,303 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,274 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 21, 2020 at 08:37 AM
  #4
We just had a big gathering in my brothers back yard. No one went inside for anything except me, I went to use the bathroom because I just can’t hold. So I’d say if it’s outside gathering people must stay outside. Of course bathroom is an issue but it should be in and out and it’s likely going to be only few people
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Soupe du jour
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 21, 2020 at 11:43 AM
  #5
I very, very seldom have people over. When I have I enjoyed it.

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost
WovenGalaxy
Magnate
 
WovenGalaxy's Avatar
WovenGalaxy has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,850
3 yr Member
4,835 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 21, 2020 at 04:48 PM
  #6
I hear you. It sounds overwhelming.
WovenGalaxy is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
luvyrself
Poohbah
 
luvyrself's Avatar
luvyrself has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,280
8 yr Member
136 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 21, 2020 at 08:25 PM
  #7
Recently my secret weapon is neighborhood high school students.
I advertised on Nextdoor, the community forum, for a dog walker. The sweetest boy responded. He was always on time.
Today, a boy came to my door and offerred to pull weeds. Voila!
I like that kind of initiative.
Hugs, Sarah!

__________________
Bipolar 2 with anxious distress
mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress
tegretol 200 mg
wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed
Regular aerobic exercise
SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE:
Family Medical Advocate
Masters in Library Science
Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools
luvyrself is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Soupe du jour
 
Thanks for this!
RoxanneToto, WovenGalaxy
CANDY4339
Junior Member
 
CANDY4339's Avatar
CANDY4339 And then to, my world has turned.
 
Member Since: Aug 2020
Location: Wendover, utah
Posts: 18
3 yr Member
64 hugs
given
Default Aug 21, 2020 at 08:33 PM
  #8
I feel for you but there is no way i would sign on for that kind of situation. Especially by choice. I feel like im invaded all the time with people who just want to come visit. I would love if they would just send a text no need to stop over. But they come all the same. All i can think of while there here at my house is how long do they plan on staying or what excuse i can come up with that would give me a reason for cutting the visit short. One time it actually came down to me leaving and they all stayed. I dont understand why people dont get that im not comfortable having anyone in my home. Theres others i live with and that is hard enough. As is i live in my room in my home so if people come to visit me they have to come in my room to visit. Would any of you be comfortable visiting a person who stayed in their room. ? Its crazy i dont get it but it doesnt seem to bother any of the people that I know. They just dont get it.
CANDY4339 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
downandlonely, RoxanneToto, Soupe du jour, WovenGalaxy
TishaBuv
Legendary
TishaBuv It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,857 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 21, 2020 at 08:40 PM
  #9
I shove things in other rooms and close the door. . The cleaning is something I don’t mind doing and glad I have reason to do. Not too much has to get done. Just be sure to have toilet paper in the bathroom and a clean toilet. . I like entertaining, don’t mind shopping for and preparing food. I’ve made many nice dinner parties.

But—

Celebrations and events became a very stressful, dysfunctional endeavor because my husband, mother, or his parents gave me a tug-o-war over the years. Now there’s no more joy in it for me and the anxiety is debilitating.

The whole f’n family fell apart and the last holiday was somber after our son turned on and abandoned us.

But, who I once was originally, before all the drama, was a fun-loving, gracious hostess. Yikes do I sound like a piece of work!

__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!"
. About Me--T
TishaBuv is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
downandlonely, Soupe du jour
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 22, 2020 at 02:18 PM
  #10
Where I used to live, I was so embarrassed, I never had people over apart from one neighbor couple. We rented an older house from an elderly landlord that thought she was not responsible for maintenance, always pleading poverty. The kitchen roof leaked, the floor was this gross ancient parquet that was coming p in places. Nothing in that house had been decently upgraded in 60 years, things were just painted and patched over - when anything was done at all. We weren't going to pay for any major fixes, obviously, since it wasn't our house and it wasn't our fault she neglected to maintain it. My neighbor had the same problems, so she understood!

Once a friend of mine in another country called. Her daughter was in our city and had missed a flight and she wanted to know if her daughter could stay with me. I had to make up an excuse about the dogs not liking visitors and offer to get her at the airport and take her to a hostel.


Now we own a new house but haven't seen many visitors since we had to move kind of far to be able to afford anything.

The only plus about that old, disgusting house is that the rent was low so it allowed us to save up the down payment to buy our place. At one point we looked at moving but rents in any decent area were double what we were paying, which would have made it tough to save money.

Hugs, I hope it goes okay!!
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Soupe du jour
Soupe du jour
Elder
Soupe du jour has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,149
8 yr Member
13.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 31, 2020 at 12:55 PM
  #11
In such cases as you describe, it can be good to find an inexpensive yet still pleasant restaurant to host people. Near me, there is a pizzeria restaurant that is a couple notches above the normal pizzeria, and yet the prices are not bad at all. The atmosphere is also nice.

I do get nervous hosting people, sometimes. I love to cook, and am good at it, but have a perfectionism thing going on. Even when I have close family, other than my husband. One thing I absolutely hate is when guests come into my kitchen while I'm preparing the last stages of the meal. It got to the point where I demanded that my husband prevent them from entering the kitchen. I even had my husband put a 1970s like beaded thingamajiggy in the doorway to the kitchen from the living room, so I would have more privacy and it deters them from entering.

My husband is a European, so we have had his family and friends from Europe stay with us. Once his sister invited herself with her husband and two adult children to stay with us over Christmas. They stayed more than a week. I can sort of do a few days, but more than that is overwhelming. Once he let a husband of a deceased friend come with his two teenage daughters. The daughters were afraid to speak even their own language let alone English, even though they studied it. We called them "the mutes". The husband of that deceased friend was obnoxious. He wanted me to pack lunches for them every day they went into NYC, then wait for them and have dinner ready for their return. The girls sometimes didn't like the American food I made. I sometimes made their cuisine, but thought they'd enjoy the American experience a little. Not! They were only supposed to stay three days, but kept extending for over a week. Never felt so happy to see anyone gone!
Soupe du jour is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
2inchtallman
Member
 
2inchtallman's Avatar
2inchtallman has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: Virginia
Posts: 345
8 yr Member
138 hugs
given
Default Sep 20, 2020 at 09:30 PM
  #12
Haha! I can feel for you with the anxiety you're feeling! But living in a 200 year old house sounds both exciting, yet no lack of adventures with the maintenance and upkeep issues! Thanks for sharing this post.
2inchtallman is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Medusax
Grand Member
 
Medusax's Avatar
Medusax has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 773
5 yr Member
330 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 27, 2020 at 05:04 PM
  #13
I grew up in an older home and I miss it. I have an older home now and even after 12+ years we have still not moved in. Here's the thing....I don't have guests. I don't LIKE anyone in my house except a couple of very close friends. It is YOUR house. I understand that other's within your family need friends and have activities, but if they don't like what they see? There are two words......and they are not "Happy Birthday". I hope the intruders go away quickly and pose as little annoyance as possible.

__________________
I go about my own business, and keep my mind on myself and my life. I expect the same courtesy from the rest of the world.
Medusax is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Nammu
Crone
 
Nammu's Avatar
Nammu has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,982 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
53.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 27, 2020 at 05:10 PM
  #14
My mother goes crazy and cleans like she’s expecting Mary poplins to white glove her house. Her house is always clean but if someone calls and says there going to pop by she cleans more.

__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Nammu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
princesscookie19
Member
 
princesscookie19's Avatar
princesscookie19 Currently nOT IN THE MOOD
 
Member Since: Aug 2019
Location: Ireland
Posts: 459
3 yr Member
266 hugs
given
Default Oct 28, 2020 at 08:44 AM
  #15
Well not really because I live in as a IP(In patent) But when I do meet up for lunch I always prepare for the worse like bring my sun glasses, My kindle, Comfortable clothes,Earrings and nose ring in and I also bring some sort of presents like cupcakes and flowers something small . Im allowed to have a boy friend and hes over 40yrs who is much older than me but I still enjoy his company

__________________
VISIT MY WEBSITE

Anyone freak out when they are going to have people over?

Anyone freak out when they are going to have people over?
princesscookie19 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous445852
Guest
Anonymous445852 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Oct 28, 2020 at 09:15 PM
  #16
I learned from my mom early that cleaning when company comes is normal. She would miss church sometimes if she knew company was coming. I kind of felt sorry for her, it was like she was very embarrassed about every little thing.

I now dont live alone, but at my dads. I've actually enjoyed getting things clean. I find if the bathroom is clean and things aren't completely disarrayed I'm good with that. There was piles of laundry and very dirty windows, mopping and cobwebs everywhere. I like it looked loved in though. It's normal to have a mess, it's called living , to me. If I lived like my mom most of my life would be spent on cleaning. It's a never ending job with 5 people living here.

Old old house too. This threads been around for a while but it's interesting how everyone has their way of preparing for company coming. If someone just shows up, I now tell myself, relax, its dirt and normal. Having food and a clean bathroom is what I like to have, if someone drops by. Thanks for making this thread sarahsweets. :-)
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost
 
Thanks for this!
MuseumGhost
rdgrad15
Magnate
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
5 yr Member
199 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 29, 2020 at 07:38 AM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I do. We had to move my daughters' b-day party to tomorrow. (she's 17). I have a very very old house(over 200 years) and while that sounds like it could be neat, over the years, previous people just slapped quick fixes on stuff. My furniture doesnt match, carpets are horrible. Kitchen and bathroom has a leak. So many things are always under repair. I am having family over and I know that they are not under the impression that I am some neat person but I have so much to do and am overwhelmed. I work for the census now so I have that from 9-1 this morning. I have to make potato salad, pasta salad and grocery shop. I need to clean the kitchen and bathroom from top to bottom. I need to straighten my laundry room because coming in from the back yard you cut through there. Its an outside deal because of covid but people will need to come into use the bathroom and stuff. The yard is ok, have to clean up the furniture. How can I get this all done without freaking out>>>???

Oh I totally understand. I hate having people over. Needing to straighten up and make your house look presentable in order to avoid judgment is a pain. Is there any way you could have the party elsewhere? Either that or postpone it so you have more time to clean. I hate having company over so I totally understand.
rdgrad15 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Moose72
Silver Swan
 
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,417 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
2,512 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 31, 2020 at 05:11 PM
  #18
No, I keep my new apartment tidy so I don't worry if someone stops by.

__________________
Wellbutrin XL 300 mg
Caplyta 42 mg
Ingrezza 80 mg
Ativan .5 mg 2x/day
Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day

Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Mania (April/May 2019)
Moose72 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Deilla
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Deilla's Avatar
Deilla is napping.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,398 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
49.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 04, 2020 at 06:12 AM
  #19
I rarely have anyone over. My sister used to come to visit but I would have to straighten up. Now I am looking for family help just to keep the place decent enough for me.

__________________
‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
Deilla is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost
Purple box euphoria
New Member
 
Purple box euphoria's Avatar
Purple box euphoria has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2020
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1
3 yr Member
Frown Nov 04, 2020 at 06:35 AM
  #20
I can't help it. I will try to excuse myself if there are visitors coming to our house. I will let my partner entertain them no matter if they are friends or family. If sometimes I had no choice but to talk with them, after almost 20 minutes being with the crowd, I feel my energy is draining already and I would eventually try to pretend that I'm not there and ignore them all. Of course I know that's rude, I feel bad, but I have to do it to preserve myself from overwhelming and blowing my head off. It's never easy having this condition.
Purple box euphoria is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Deilla, MuseumGhost
 
Thanks for this!
rdgrad15
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:47 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.