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shelda
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Default Apr 29, 2018 at 01:30 PM
  #1
My husband died two years ago and life feels so different now. I talk to him alot in my head and hope he hears me. Our family seemed to have gone our separate ways since he became ill and now i am totally alone. I have to learn how to live alone i suppose or find a hobby i enjoy. Had to get a job and i enjoy it so thats a huge help. I do not do much after work just eat and watch TV. I have a dog so she makes me go out for walks...other then that there is not much to life any longer. Am not into running around and finding new hobbies by the time i am off work i am tired. Would be nice to chat with someone who understands this as none of my friends have ever had to go through this so there is no understanding.
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Smile Apr 29, 2018 at 06:39 PM
  #2
I'm sorry you are so alone. My wife & I have no extended family & she only has a couple of casual friends. But at least we have each other. We also have a dog who gets us out-&-about walking.

I recall reading an article, several years ago, on the editorial page of our local newspaper. The writer was an older woman who, following retirement, had moved with her husband from the city to a small town. She assumed they'd make new friends in their new hometown. However, what she found was that all of the residents who were of a similar age already had long-established relationships & were not interested in becoming friends with her.

So in order to pass the time, the writer got a job at a local fast-food restaurant. Most of the other employees were young people. And, as a result, the woman wrote that she became friends with the young women she worked with. She started being invited to their various activities... including bridal & baby showers & such.

My wife & I are retired. We've talked about moving from the city where we live to a smaller town. And whenever we do, I recall that editorial. Your post reminded me of that article too. Perhaps, as you go along, you'll have the opportunity to make some new friends at work. But in the meantime, hopefully, you will be able to find some internet friends here on PC.

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Default Apr 30, 2018 at 12:11 PM
  #3
Sorry you are so alone. I hope you find some online friends here at psych central

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Default Jun 12, 2018 at 03:35 PM
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Originally Posted by shelda View Post
My husband died two years ago and life feels so different now. I talk to him alot in my head and hope he hears me. Our family seemed to have gone our separate ways since he became ill and now i am totally alone. I have to learn how to live alone i suppose or find a hobby i enjoy. Had to get a job and i enjoy it so thats a huge help. I do not do much after work just eat and watch TV. I have a dog so she makes me go out for walks...other then that there is not much to life any longer. Am not into running around and finding new hobbies by the time i am off work i am tired. Would be nice to chat with someone who understands this as none of my friends have ever had to go through this so there is no understanding.
I am sorry tat you have had to go through this. I understand where you are coming from when you say you talk to your husband a lot. I do that with my grandma, especially when something bad happens or when something good happens and I wish she were she to see it. Just know that he is with you all the time and is watching over you.
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Default Oct 24, 2019 at 03:09 PM
  #5
Life is just..what you can and want to make out of it are very different for me.I feel legarthic ,so am going to try meditation. Try do not think bad thoughts mainly about me. Hope everyone here is good . Thank you
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Default Oct 24, 2019 at 10:36 PM
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Life is just..what you can and want to make out of it are very different for me.I feel legarthic ,so am going to try meditation. Try do not think bad thoughts mainly about me. Hope everyone here is good . Thank you

shelda,

I am thinking wonderful thoughts about you. So glad to see you looking for ways to keep going even in the face of the tremendous grief you appear to feel.

This video helps remind me that meditation is not far away but a living experience right here in front of me.
YouTube

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Default Oct 27, 2019 at 07:20 AM
  #7
Everything he is saying is so true and yet I or we deny ourselves this..Thank you so much for this site. You may be saving my life. I have been so depressed for so long...and when my husband died after 36 years..I lost it literally . I knew he was dying but was in a state of denial and anger..lots of that. Through my anger I believe i lost the respect and love of my children who are grown. They may have seen me this way or that way...and I am trying hard to let that feeling go.I can not control another person's thoughts about me and Only what i see about me is important.Learning to forgive myself for their mindset about me. And Etc...letting all of that go.I am not that same person and even when i was i was so scared and hurt while i watched the man i made a life with wither and die right in front of me. I have been trying to reach out on how to forgive my mistakes..taking a truly hard look at myself and who i really am cause i have maybe almost lost it again..am not sure...But i hear a voice saying take it easy on yourself..maybe it's my ego but i feel i am fighting for my life because of my judging I am really wanting to forgive i hope i am ready now again..this is the soul wrenching one. I Pray . Peace and Love I pray for all and me.

Last edited by shelda; Oct 27, 2019 at 09:18 AM..
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