Can't stop thinking about my friend - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 02-15-2019, 12:22 PM #1
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Default Can't stop thinking about my friend

We were childhood friends, and became friends since he died one week ago.

He was from abroad, we weren't as close as we were as kids, but I admired our friendship and since I became weird awkward quiet adult, he still accepted me as his friend.

A week has passed since he died at the age of 30 in a house fire and I still can't stop thinking about him.

I feel different reactions senses of calm followed by tears anger at those responsible for the fire and their carelessness.

I have thoughts of the fire even though I wasn't there, how he could be saved or was saved.

I imagine the things I wish to tell him. I imagine him still being alive.

Letting go gives me the same crippling feeling when I first found out he died.
Sadness, depression and wishing he could come back.

I find it unfair for him, he had his life ahead of him, wished we had more time...

I feel regret!

I regret I became shy and awkward through the years. I really hate myself for it, the missed opportunities.

I regret not communicating with him these past 2 years because I was stuck in my own little life crisis.

I regret I spent most of our adult friendship chatting rather than making real memories.

I regret I didn't go last year over there, see him one more time.

I don't know if he'd feel the same as me, but I feel like this about him. And often want to cry. Missing him.... the thought I will never see him again hurts so much.

I know, I am meant to man up or grow up and let go by now.....but it's so hard....

I feel sad, I feel butterflies in my chest since then, shocked, I can't stop thinking about him, his name and his face is always on my mind. And I play storylines in my brain.

I do try and get on with my life, but my mind does sometimes drift off to him.
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Old 02-15-2019, 04:21 PM #2
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Smile Re: Can't stop thinking about my friend

My condolences on the loss of your friend. Here are links to 3 articles on the subject of grief & loss from PC's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help:

On Grief, Loss and Coping

Healthy Ways to Navigate Your Grief

What My Dog Taught Me about Grief and Loss

My best wishes to you...
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Old 02-15-2019, 11:34 PM #3
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Default Re: Can't stop thinking about my friend

How perfectly tragic. My deepest sympathy and condolences. I don’t think you can help having memories rushing at you. That pretty much happens with awful traumas like this. ❤️😢❤️
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Old 02-17-2019, 07:57 AM #4
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Default Re: Can't stop thinking about my friend

Can't stop thinking about my friend
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Old 05-05-2019, 08:51 PM #5
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Default Re: Can't stop thinking about my friend

I lost my best friend of 20 years 3 months ago. I miss him most of the day everyday. The pain is excruciating
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Old 05-06-2019, 12:26 PM #6
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Default Re: Can't stop thinking about my friend

Hi FearandLoathing40. I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Any loss can be traumatic but a friend can seem like family to us, maybe even closer.

If you care to read these articles, they help me find ways to cope with loss. Coping with Grief and Loss - Psych Central
On Grief, Loss and Coping
Grief and Loss Resources

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