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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,475
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#1
Two days ago, my 21 year old told me that he's transgender. Im having a difficult time dealing with this. Not because Im against transgender specifically- I have trans friends- but because I feel like Im losing him. Like he was diagnosed with cancer and only given a few months to live.
I have a letter he wrote me in 4th grade telling me why he loves me- he signed it. Im grateful that I have a lot of photos of him throughout his life. I am tryi g to make this NOT about me but I cant help it. Im in total shock. I fear something bad will happen to him - people dont always accept transgender people. That's putting it lightly. I can't wrap my head around this. Its a huge loss. Of course I know that he will still be my child no matter what but I dont know this new person. He has known forever. Everyone in the family (that know so far) is in shock. My mom doent know what to think. As I said I have a friend who is transgender - but Ive only known her as a woman and she's not my child. She is however a great resource. Nobody can take our relationship away. But I really fear for his well-being and safety. He's only 21. All for now. Im still stunned, sad, overwhelmed, happy for him, angry... All the stages of grief rolled into one. __________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Loxapine 50mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,414
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#2
Moose72, I am sorry for the loss of the relationship with the child you knew. It sounds like it meant a lot to you.
I have been in support groups that NAMI runs telling similar stories several times. You are not alone. If interested here is a link to their website. Find Support | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness Every program they offer as far as I know is free. The Family to Family program is a 12 week program that shows us what is happening in people as they go through changes that mystify us. Having others who have been through this could be a help. Hope you find the support you are looking for. __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,533
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#3
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 48,050
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#4
Yes, dear one, you will suffer a loss of the child you knew but at the same time gain a new child. I agree that a support group/course will help you.
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