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Desoxyn
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Default Jul 25, 2019 at 12:47 AM
  #1
Very emotional day today. My mom found out that she was positive for breast cancer this morning. It's an aggressive cancer. There's legs growing out of the lump to supply it with nutrients and she's really tired and drunk. Everyone in the house was crying including me.

If my mom's breast cancer is genetic then my sister will have to get tested. The 23andme said that I could possibly have Lynch syndrome so I'll get myself properly checked as well.

I said that I would quit smoking but my moms bf said to finish the how to stop smoking book before I quit so it will work so I bought a pack. I feel like an idiot for smoking but it is very addictive. I'm halfway through finishing the book.

-----

I don't know what to do. I have no plans for the future, just exercising my mind because of my mental illness. Now I can't even do that because if my mom dies, I have no idea what my life will be like. Maybe I'll have to go to work or move. My dad doesn't have a house. He just goes places when he's off work for a few weeks.

He said he would buy a house. But then how long is he going to live.. a few years?

My mom said that today she just needed to process everything but now she's ready to fight the cancer. She's always been a fighter and always been my caregiver. Now I'm hers at an instant and need to be strong for her. She's going to get the lump removed and get chemotherapy very soon. I said that I would be strong but she was crying because she doesn't know how I'm going to survive without her.

My mom will always be with me even after she dies. That will keep me strong.

-----

I can't stop crying. I'm not a normal person that has ever dealt with death of a loved one apart from my grandfather where I cried once and didn't get to go to his funeral because I was admitted to the psych ward. I've never even been to a funeral.

I'll just hope that she doesn't die. But her heart conditions are another issue. I found her on the floor last week because she was having heart arrythmias. Possibly not enough oxygen is getting to her heart.

She’s so beautiful in every way and the best mother in the world. She sees all the beauty in life that I never saw in my depression.
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Default Jul 25, 2019 at 04:41 AM
  #2
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Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
Very emotional day today. My mom found out that she was positive for breast cancer this morning. It's an aggressive cancer. There's legs growing out of the lump to supply it with nutrients and she's really tired and drunk. Everyone in the house was crying including me.


If my mom's breast cancer is genetic then my sister will have to get tested. The 23andme said that I could possibly have Lynch syndrome so I'll get myself properly checked as well.


I said that I would quit smoking but my moms bf said to finish the how to stop smoking book before I quit so it will work so I bought a pack. I feel like an idiot for smoking but it is very addictive. I'm halfway through finishing the book.


-----


I don't know what to do. I have no plans for the future, just exercising my mind because of my mental illness. Now I can't even do that because if my mom dies, I have no idea what my life will be like. Maybe I'll have to go to work or move. My dad doesn't have a house. He just goes places when he's off work for a few weeks.


He said he would buy a house. But then how long is he going to live.. a few years?


My mom said that today she just needed to process everything but now she's ready to fight the cancer. She's always been a fighter and always been my caregiver. Now I'm hers at an instant and need to be strong for her. She's going to get the lump removed and get chemotherapy very soon. I said that I would be strong but she was crying because she doesn't know how I'm going to survive without her.


My mom will always be with me even after she dies. That will keep me strong.


-----


I can't stop crying. I'm not a normal person that has ever dealt with death of a loved one apart from my grandfather where I cried once and didn't get to go to his funeral because I was admitted to the psych ward. I've never even been to a funeral.


I'll just hope that she doesn't die. But her heart conditions are another issue. I found her on the floor last week because she was having heart arrythmias. Possibly not enough oxygen is getting to her heart.


She’s so beautiful in every way and the best mother in the world. She sees all the beauty in life that I never saw in my depression.
I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and sending positive vibes your way for a while. Know that there are a lot of people here that care about you and are here for you. Take care of yourself.

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Default Jul 25, 2019 at 09:54 AM
  #3
I'm sorry. Breast cancer is more treatable these days, so maybe the docs can get it under control. Hang in there and try not to borrow the worst from the future. Okay?
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Default Aug 01, 2019 at 09:11 PM
  #4
Desoxyn I am sorry for the news you got. It must be rough to face so much uncertainty. Maybe you helping your mom through this will help you repay her kindness to you.

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Default Aug 01, 2019 at 09:18 PM
  #5
I'm sorry. That's tough news but there is hope.

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Default Aug 02, 2019 at 12:27 PM
  #6
Sorry so much is happening all at once. A heart doctor,and my husband has two,one of whom specializes in electrical issues like arrhythmia should checkout her arrhythmia. That’s not a minor matter.
Yes, cancer is being treated much more successfully nowadays, but my mom beat it 50years ago.I-have Many cancer survivors in my family. My brother is past chairman of the board of ACA worldwide because of an episode in his30’s.
Contact the head of your local chapter for tips on how to deal with this. Explain that you have challenges of your own.WhenI had a very rare eye disorder, it was the head of the local chapter of the association for the disease that helped me find the right doctor when most doctors just wrote it off, didn’t know anything,etc. The doctor stopped the disorder and I have been fine ever since.
We’re all with you! Keep posting!

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Default Aug 04, 2019 at 07:15 PM
  #7
So sorry to hear this. Take things one step at a time. Support her and enjoy her company while she is still here. She could make it, I hope she does.
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Default Aug 06, 2019 at 06:19 AM
  #8
I hope your mother beats it. Another poster suggested contacting a local resource group and I just wanted to second that idea. There are national organizations devoted to fighting breast cancer and many of them have phone numbers you can call to ask questions or just talk. A lot have weekly online support chats. I have found those really, really helpful.
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