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Anonymous42019
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Default Sep 09, 2019 at 01:55 PM
  #1
The trauma of grief and loss cannot be measured in time, although it is said to 'be a great healer', my daughter and I were very close to my parents whose loss we will be feeling for a very long time. Mum and Dad were such loving, caring parents. Just not my husband, though his temper was foul and he had a gambling habit, I would never have wished him such unexpected, sudden death. His side of the family were greedy and grabbing, not giving me a chance at any reasoning whatsoever. I gave them what they wanted - pictures and belongings of his. And as a deliberate act of self-preservation, my daughter and I turned away from their verbal abuse, feeling we'd be better off without them. They returned to Spain and we've heard nothing back from them at all.

I look back at what happened to cause such a terrible time in our lives, and that of my gentle daughter. Both parents died in a car accident, then my husband to cardiac arrest. Shortly after his funeral, one evening a driver pulled out in front of me causing severe whiplash. Consequently I've been off sick for some time. My car was a total right-off. All its airbags went off, saving my life except for some nasty bruises. The driver's insurers paid up, as well they should.

My daughter and I were given lovely help by our neighbours, and a kind lady same age as me, a spinster who lives a couple of doors down. My husband was constantly at odds with my daughter and I; he had a gambling habit and a foul temper. After his death his solicitor informed my husband had taken out life insurance, so I was able to pay off his gambling debt and the mortgage on our house was cleared since he'd also taken out a policy on that. My parents left me their house, so after my husband's passing, we moved to my late parent's home which is right opposite the beach. And our neiughbours could not have been kinder. During our time of grief when usually, people leave a mourner alone, they looked out for us.

I look foward to resigning my hospital job. I was doing ridiculous hours, not helped by having a belligerent manager piling on the hours and conveniently going deaf to our pleas. Now it's time to resign and find myself a new life. With far more decent hours.

Since my sickleave began, I've been painting fine art and found a niche market in producing photographs of such high definition that a market has opened up. And that is how I intend to go on.

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Smile Sep 09, 2019 at 02:51 PM
  #2
Thanks for sharing your circumstances. My condolences on your loss. Best wishes, though, for great success with your painting & photography as well! Here's a link to an article on the subject of grief & loss by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D., from PC's archives, that provides links to a number of additional articles:

Coping with Grief | Psych Central

Best wishes to you & your daughter.

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Default Sep 09, 2019 at 06:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
Thanks for sharing your circumstances. My condolences on your loss. Best wishes, though, for great success with your painting & photography as well! Here's a link to an article on the subject of grief & loss by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D., from PC's archives, that provides links to a number of additional articles:

Coping with Grief | Psych Central

Best wishes to you & your daughter.
You are most kind, @Skeezyks for finding me those excellent contributions as I have been reading many of the links previously on my forum intro.

The article by Dr. John Grohol looks good as are some others on the subject of grief and loss, so they will become good reading tomorrow, as it is late now and I must away to bed.

Thank you so much for your remembering my daughter. Bonny that she is, the poor girl is still very raw and will take a long time to heal. But we are good and she will take it all in her brave stride.

Goodnight to you and again, many thanks.

Rosie

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