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Old 11-23-2019, 12:12 PM   #21
stefano
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Default Re: Best friend killed herself

I do aikido. I also did karate in the past.
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Old 11-23-2019, 06:12 PM   #22
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How are things looking for you today?
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Old 11-23-2019, 08:53 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue View Post
How are things looking for you today?

Yesterday I have been to see my therapist. He's been treating me for the last 15 years, even if with interruptions. I had interrupted therapy about one year ago because I was feeling well and because I had my main issues addressed already, and because I had a best friend to motivate me...
So I contacted him again because he is the only person who really knows WHAT she meant for me. During sessions I used to name Mojca so often...
I also discontinued therapy because I was trying to achieve financial autonomy from my parents (which is kind of an issue when you are 48) and I coul not afford the fee.
He was very impressed and he said "let's just meet". He didn't want to be paid. So I told him the whole story and I cried a damn river. But it made me feel better because he is the only one who could understand fully the depth of my loss.
My family is helping me, but they never met Mojca in person. I never insisted on this and now I'm glad I did, or they would be feeling bad like me, because she was adorable, contrary to her own belief. In fact, she din't want to meet my family, she was sure they would have seen her imaginary defects and hated her.


Today I got some work to do (I work at home) and I did it. I'm growing tired but I know I must have patience. All my things are still. The windows laptop I only used for games is been closed since then. My folder of downloaded movies has not been opened since then. I'm in a limbo where sometimes I cry.

Now it's almost 3AM I think I'm ready for some guided meditation and go to sleep, finally.

Let me tell you that your inquiries are really appreciated.

In fact, I think I took advantage of you, I didn't mean to be this long.

Last edited by stefano; 11-23-2019 at 10:57 PM..
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Old 11-23-2019, 10:51 PM   #24
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Sorry for your loss
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Old 11-24-2019, 10:27 PM   #25
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Default Re: Best friend killed herself

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Originally Posted by stefano View Post
I do aikido. I also did karate in the past.
I did aikido 30 years ago but the rolling and holds are painful as I get older so Tai Chi is not as hard on me. Actually helped me feel better in some parts of my body.
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Old 11-27-2019, 03:26 PM   #26
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Default Re: Best friend killed herself

It's almost 9.30PM over here. For YEARS I've been waiing this time to start Telegram and waiting for my best friend to come online. She would salute me with "ave" because I am a true Roman... And then we would SHARE feelings and wipe away each other's loneliness for a couple of hours.
But this will not happen today or ever again.

The pain may subdue a bit with time, but I have lost my BLESSING.
Thank you for reading.
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Old 11-27-2019, 10:03 PM   #27
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Default Re: Best friend killed herself

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Originally Posted by stefano View Post
It's almost 9.30PM over here. For YEARS I've been waiing this time to start Telegram and waiting for my best friend to come online. She would salute me with "ave" because I am a true Roman... And then we would SHARE feelings and wipe away each other's loneliness for a couple of hours.
But this will not happen today or ever again.

The pain may subdue a bit with time, but I have lost my BLESSING.
Thank you for reading.
Stefano, I am sorry for these string of reminders of your loss. It must be very difficult for you.

We do have a chatroom with a chat on every othere Thursday night EST at 8PM but that is 2AM Friday for you so not sure that is good timing for you. Next one is Nove 28thEST at 8pm for me that is tomorrow.

If you are free, feel free to pop in
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Old 11-28-2019, 11:35 AM   #28
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Thank you very much CANDC. Maybe I'll pay a visit.

Anyway I am also visiting an italian forum with chatroom, which is not as good as PC but still good.
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Old 12-02-2019, 11:53 AM   #29
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Default Re: Best friend killed herself

this is exactly what happened to my best friend bethany.

I am sorry this happened to you too

take care of yourself- grieving is difficult

I'm still not over beth. their are triggers everywhere

((((hugs)))))
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