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Buffy01
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Default Dec 12, 2019 at 02:47 PM
  #1
I lost my best friend when I was nine years old somewhere between 1990 - 1991 I grieve ever sense now I feel like need to let go. I post my dad sixteen years ago and my mom eleven years ago. How do you know when you are letting go of grief? What steps would I need to do to let go?
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Default Dec 12, 2019 at 05:22 PM
  #2
Once you recall the memory of the dead important dear person that you lost, you won't feel sad or in pain anymore! These feelings would be replaced by peace inside, something inside you has allowed the dead person to go in peace, there would be kind of reconciliation between you and his or her perpetual departure,
Only that time you could get rid of that sadness and grief.
Usually the feeling of grief differs
from person to anther one according to his own experience and according to the relation between him\her and his\her lost person, but usually it doesn't last longer, the feelings decreases by the time! It may takes 2 or 3 years but not many years,

This in case the loss isn't related by a feeling of guilt of course! Or a failure to perform a duty towards the lost person!
What steps u need to do! Tbh I still look for an answer! But the best step you have to do is to let them go in peace and to think that they are happy wherever they are, and they are somewhere watching you and smiling to you from the skies.
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Default Dec 12, 2019 at 06:39 PM
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I do not know if you have to let it go. You have to let go of how it affects you. People grieve in different ways and for different lengths of time. I lost my dad suddenly when I was 24. Theres a whole history behind my relationship with him but I got through in Id say less time than expected and now when I think about him I feel a bittersweet feeling. Almost like missing what could have been and accepting what it is now.

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Default Dec 12, 2019 at 06:57 PM
  #4
Do you know the writer and scientist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross? Her books about grieving are famous.
She describes 5 stages in grieving: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance and she even dare to give a running for them, six months, however, she herself stressed on the idea that this period of time was only average and that the five stages are not lineal in time. Maybe, you could have a look at what she has written about and see if there’s a motive by which you can’t reach the final stage.

Do you think that writing a letter to your best friend and tell him/her everything you want to tell could help you? You could also try with your parents.

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