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Blue1661
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Member Since: Feb 2020
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Trig Feb 05, 2020 at 12:27 AM
  #1
I found out I was pregnant after an incident landed me in ER. I was 6 weeks. My prior to this, I had been spotting for about 2 or 3 weeks.

At the hospital I suffered a pretty heavy bleed and the doctors thought I was miscarrying but after ano blood test, it showed my levels were increasing.

The doctor sent an ultrasound request sheet to my family doctor. At my first appointment with him I informed him of my spotting and the stomach pains I'd. Been having, he said this was normal.

He said that before sending me for an ultrasound he wanted to check my hcg levels. When he got the results he said they had risen. I reminded him about the ultrasound and I'd feel more confident having one.

He said "theres no point, theres nothing to see st this stage" I was 8 weeks

At ten weeks I developed severe stomach pains, so my boyfriend rushes me to the hospital. Once there, they. Checked my blood pressure... it was so low that they immediately brought me to a bed where 7 nurses rushed in.

When they performed the ultrasound, we discovered that it was an ectopic pregnancy. And it had burst.

I was rushed into the Opeeating room, where the anaesthesia guy declared I was 5 minutes from death, and he was on the brink of calling it.

I am in constant physically. But it doesnt even compared to the pain or losing this. I cry all the time.
Me and my partner were beyond the moon happy. I cant stop blaming myself, even though I did nothing wrong.

My big has. completely shut down and is having a hard time coping as well. I feel we are drifting apart, but I know it's just a process.


We went to my doctor to request the files, as we plan to take action. It is basic knowledge that with my symptoms, bleeding pain, that you perform an ultrasound.

If he had done his job, the ectopic pregnancy would have been discovered.

I know that there was nothing that can be done.HOWEVER. .. Having detected it, I could have had it removed ...

But no, I had my unborn child ripped from my bodyi since this, I have developed PTSD. I see dead and infants in horrible conditions. I also began having severe nightmares and therefore I I just fight sleep. Despite being on many insomnia medications..

It's all i think about.
I just wan my baby. It's also caused awful problems between me and my bf. I know it's just cause were both grievin.. but I feel as if I'm loosing him.

Last edited by bluekoi; Feb 05, 2020 at 12:15 PM.. Reason: Add triggger icon.
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Default Feb 05, 2020 at 01:23 PM
  #2
I am so very, very sorry for your loss. How utterly tragic! Wish I knew what to say that would help. My heart goes out to you!
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 12:17 PM
  #3
(((Blue))) I am so sorry you went through all that you shared and that it could have been prevented had the doctors explored further and addressed the problem.

Please don't feed into the guilt and anger and instead work on your healing. Also, a big part of what you are experiencing is the HUGE hormonal shift taking place in you. Understand there is no way that developing fetus could have survived and try to be thankful you are living in a generation where your life was saved as in other generations women actually lost their lives not only in pregnancies, but during childbirth complications.

Part of your saddness and crying is due to the hormonal shift taking place in your body. Horomones actually play a huge role in women's mental health. Truth is, some women suffer from terrible post pardom depression even when they deliver a healthy infant. It's important you understand that so you can understand that what you are experiencing isn't just about losing a child all in itself.

Truth is, there are in fact a lot of things that can go wrong when a woman gets pregnant and she tends to feel all of it due to the tremendous shift in horomones. I experienced a miscarriage when I was almost 5 months pregnant. I went through a private grief and loss that was often feelings I could not even articulate.

Our brains often do not know how to really process a failed pregnancy. This is part of why you have been having these nightmares. Our nightmares are just our brain's way of not knowing what to do with what we experienced, they are questions, and often frightful ones, not realities. Seeing infants ripped from you in frightful ways is part of your brain just trying to recover from the fact that what happened to you was in fact traumatic and frightful. The reason it can be hard to sleep is that while we sleep our brain processes through rapid eye movements which hits a sort of switch in our brain that connects events to an area of the brain it can be processed and stored and it's stored in an area of our brain that is equipped with skills we have learned during our lives.

What can make sleep more challenging is our emotions, "it feels horrible, it feels like a life was ripped away and hormonally our body was preparing for that life in ways we are not quite even aware of". Human emotions are often nagging and can even be relentlessly so. However, it is these emotions that create a strong desire to understand, to learn, to prevent and not only perservere for ourselves, but to help others do the same. And when it comes to reproduction which is a huge driving force in all of nature Blue, there is a deep drive to need to remember in order to enact some act of prevention. This is something that brings out natures way of adapting to ensure survival of a species. Sometimes birds lay eggs that never hatch, for whatever reason that egg doesn't have something necessary for it to develop into a living healthy baby bird. There are plenty of fails in nature that we don't always see, but none the less they do happen all the time.

I am very sorry you experienced this, it's not your fault and right now, you must have patience so your body can overcome and gradually return to a hormonal balance where you begin to feel yourself, better again. Patience dear ((((Blue))).
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Default Feb 12, 2020 at 05:32 PM
  #4
((Blue)), aside from what I shared with you about the huge hormonal shift I noticed an article that actually talks about the psychological affects a miscarriage can have for a woman, even an ectopic pregnancy. So please be caring and patient with self and know you are not alone with how challenged you feel. Actually, it would probably be very helpful for you to get some therapy for this so you can gradually work through these emotional challenges you are experiencing.

It’s Not Just You: Miscarriage And Ectopic Pregnancies Can Cause Long-Term PTSD
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Default Feb 15, 2020 at 08:17 AM
  #5
My heart goes out to you. Miscarriage is cruel enough without having to be the victim of an ignorant doctor.

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