FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,401
(SuperPoster!)
6 49.2k hugs
given |
#1
I feel bad for my daughter. I'm not really sure how she's doing. She will only text me. But I told her that if she wanted to talk, I was here for her. I really hope she is Okay.
She told me he passed away in his sleep. He's about my age. I am shocked. My ex and I didn't get along. He really hurt me. So much so that I've had nightmares about it most of my life. Part of me is sad for me. Now things will never be resolved. I've always hoped he would give me an apology. That is not possible now. And part of me is relieved. He can never hurt me again. __________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Reply With Quote |
128J, downandlonely, eskielover, happysobercrafter, lightly toasted, possum220, RoxanneToto, Travelinglady, TunedOut, WovenGalaxy, Yzen, zapatoes
|
childofchaos831
|
Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Islandia
Posts: 4,263
(SuperPoster!)
5 10.9k hugs
given |
#2
Sorry to hear this Delilah.
|
Reply With Quote |
Deilla, happysobercrafter
|
Deilla, happysobercrafter
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,123
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,737 hugs
given |
#3
Sorry Deilla. I’m here to talk if you need someone.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
Reply With Quote |
Deilla, happysobercrafter
|
Deilla, happysobercrafter
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,401
(SuperPoster!)
6 49.2k hugs
given |
#4
Thank you! I appreciate the support. I'm not really sure how to support my daughter. I guess just check in with her in a couple of days.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Reply With Quote |
eskielover, happysobercrafter, Yzen
|
happysobercrafter
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,742
(SuperPoster!)
19 14.6k hugs
given |
#5
Conflicting emotions are always difficult to deal with....my daughter will only text too....know what you mean about not really knowing how she is
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
Reply With Quote |
Deilla, happysobercrafter
|
Deilla, happysobercrafter
|
Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,930 hugs
given |
#6
Honey, I am so sorry to hear this! I send you warm healing hugs! xoxox
__________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
Reply With Quote |
Deilla
|
Deilla
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: North America
Posts: 2,168
7 4,766 hugs
given |
#7
Sorry Delilah. So sorry he never apologized to help resolve things for you. At this point, you can only give yourself the closure you need. Sending hugs to you and your daughter.
|
Reply With Quote |
Deilla
|
Deilla
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,401
(SuperPoster!)
6 49.2k hugs
given |
#8
Thank you! I slept well last night. I was afraid I would have nightmares but everything was Okay. You're right, Yzen, I can give myself closure.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Reply With Quote |
downandlonely, eskielover, possum220, RoxanneToto, Yzen
|
Yzen
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,401
(SuperPoster!)
6 49.2k hugs
given |
#9
I'm not feeling well about things right now. I never did get a chance to fully forgive him. To me, forgiving him would have meant seeing him again and smiling at him as though everything was Okay. I'll never see him again. My daughter says they will do a celebration of life. I think that is nice. I do have some good memories of him. I have one that keeps playing over and over in my mind. I don't understand it. He hurt me so bad. Part of me wishes I could be at the celebration. I would be respectful. He deserves to rest in peace. I deserve peace too.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Reply With Quote |
CANDC, RoxanneToto, Travelinglady
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,742
(SuperPoster!)
19 14.6k hugs
given |
#10
Just remember, forgiveness is in our own heart & the other person doesn't have to be alive for that to happen.
I was very angry at my mom for the trauma she put me through the last 2 months of her life. I didn't forgive her for that until AFTER she died. The forgiveness was about ME letting go of the hurt & PTSD she had caused me. Something you still can do for yourself __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
Reply With Quote |
Deilla, RoxanneToto, Travelinglady
|
Deilla, RoxanneToto
|
Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,394
(SuperPoster!)
9 2,308 hugs
given |
#11
Quote:
__________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
|
Reply With Quote |
Deilla
|
Deilla, RoxanneToto, Travelinglady
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,401
(SuperPoster!)
6 49.2k hugs
given |
#12
Quote:
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
|
Reply With Quote |
CANDC, eskielover
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 1,692
3 6,991 hugs
given |
#13
I’m so sorry, Deilla! I agree that a person doesn’t have to be alive for one to get closure regarding their behaviour. Also, I’d say, you know what he’s done to you, even if he would never admit it and say sorry - you might never have got an apology, genuine or not, but you know the truth and that’s worth more sometimes.
|
Reply With Quote |
Deilla
|
Deilla, eskielover, Travelinglady
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 47,981
(SuperPoster!)
13 22.9k hugs
given |
#14
So sorry for your and your daughter's suffering. The other folks have given good advice. I'm sure you did the best you could to survive (and thrive) while he was alive.
|
Reply With Quote |
Deilla
|
Deilla
|
Member
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: Hemet, CA
Posts: 43
8 76 hugs
given |
#15
It's hard to grieve someone who has hurt you many times. When my mother-in-law passed away, I found out I had resentment. I had to learn to forgive myself for not letting go of resentment while she was alive.
|
Reply With Quote |
Deilla
|
Reply |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|