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Member Since Feb 2018
Location: PNW US
Posts: 87
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#1
A few days ago I once again thought about keeping a journal. In the past I would jot things down now and again, but it was never consistent.
Now I know why, and know it deeply - I would absolutely hate having anyone read my words. The idea of people pouring over my thoughts, including pain and fear, after I am gone, terrifies me. Can anyone relate ? I know I can write and then destroy, so I might do more of that. __________________ 50 Shades of Abuse |
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beauflow, MickeyCheeky, mote.of.soul
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beauflow
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Member
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: ....
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#2
I guess I do. I keep a journal but I do worry sometimes if someone will pry inside. I usually just hide it and hope no one finds it.
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beauflow
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beauflow, WhatsNextNow
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
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#3
i do journal but i also am very afraid someone i live with will find it so I'm constantly hiding it but i do willingly share some of my stuff in therapy.
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beauflow
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beauflow, WhatsNextNow
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#4
For a different perspective, I did my journaling on a blog and then posted it to my Facebook. My darkest stuff. The deepest wounds. I set it out to the world and let it go. I never have to worry about people finding out my secrets because I know they know. They love me anyways. It feels like freedom.
That said, I do understand where you are coming from and why you would feel the way you do. |
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beauflow
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AspiringAuthor, beauflow, healingme4me, Onward2wards, WhatsNextNow
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#5
I try to avoid journaling and blogging for the reason that I tend to ruminate and generally be negative.
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beauflow
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beauflow
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#6
Quote:
I never kept a paper journal my journal was always online ( I used livejournal) and posted to it on and off since 2010 I guess part of me was wwweary of sharing my creative side for example (because people could look it up and find my journal and read it), and that did actually happen to me at one stage because I did a stupid thing but also because it was online, and I was under my own username, it was very unlikely (unless I shared something from it), they'd find me it's not like my family could just walk in to my room, find the journal and read it- I took comfort in that I'd always make sure my journal window was closed if anyone came in, then reopen it when they left |
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WhatsNextNow
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#7
something else I did (and continue to do), is always clear my internet history
so no chance of finding it |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,136
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#8
I keep journals. one for work, one for personal and one for each of my children. I am teaching my children about journaling. one is way to young so i keep a baby book style one for that child. the other three one colors a page every night, the other two know how to read and write at their age levels so they write and draw in their paper journals. my wife has her various journals too.
I use both paper and computerized versions. an interesting thing happened recently. I thought I had transferred my computers journals over to my wifes computer and then deleted them and deleted histories, cookies, cache ... you name it before I took my computer in for some repairs. Well while explaining to the repair person what was going on with my computer he was accessing different things trying to find the problem and lo and behold there was my journal still on the hard drive. apparently there is some files on a computer that actually save everything a person does on their computers, nothing short of a massive magnatized something or other is going to get rid of it. my repair person called it a black box. thats not the official name for it but he said its like an air planes black box stores everything and nothing is delete able, and its how police are able to discover the criminal activities. you know how on the news you hear about the police have found this or that on someones computer, there was evidence that they tried to delete it but it was found anyway. thats how. he removed the hard drive put in a new one, installed all my software from one hard drive to the other and I now have this hard drive in a safe place where no one can access my various work and personal journals. I havent decided what to do with this hard drive yet. might take it to a recycling center or back to the computer shop that have the specialized equipment that can wipe the hard drive clean, then I have a spare hard drive if needed. or I might just donate it some where after its been cleaned of my journals. from now on its paper journals for this family lol |
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mote.of.soul
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Member
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: England
Posts: 142
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#9
I more than understand, Hon. If people knew what I wrote, I fear they'd have a different opinion on me.....or merely confirm that said opinion!
What matters is, your heathy, happy n have an outlet (us!) to rely upon x Last edited by Miss P; Mar 20, 2018 at 12:48 AM.. |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: England
Posts: 97
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#10
I find it useful to journal in a structured way using lists or prompts (but not into the whole bullet journal thing). If it’s unstructured it can be more problematic for me.
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Perpetually Pondering
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Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
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#11
I've journalled, kept a diary for as long as I can remember- 2nd or 3rd grade. My great gram had gifted me one.
I understand the apprehension factor. My dad and stepmom used mine to "shame" me when I was 15/16 years old- before sending me to live with my mom. I was exploring fantasies at that point in it. Plus I wrote out a memory about some related abuse from years prior-- which to gain my journal back, was requested to destroy that passage by my mom. I've kept and destroyed through the years. I like them to monitor growth and any patterns in my life that I'd like to change. |
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