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Old 02-27-2018, 02:45 PM #1
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Default jealousy + comparing myself to others

How do you even fix this?

I get really bitter when I'm around people happier than me. Admittedly I act kinda like bully. I just really hate myself.
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Old 03-01-2018, 07:10 AM #2
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Default Re: jealousy + comparing myself to others

I understand. Sometimes I do that too. I'm envious person.

I'm still struggling with that, so I don't know if it will work or not. I avoid those kind of people. Also, avoid facebook or any social media.
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Old 03-01-2018, 04:56 PM #3
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Default Re: jealousy + comparing myself to others

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Originally Posted by Turtle_Rider View Post
I understand. Sometimes I do that too. I'm envious person.

I'm still struggling with that, so I don't know if it will work or not. I avoid those kind of people. Also, avoid facebook or any social media.
I try to avoid too but I just keep having these insecurity problems. I feel like I'm not making any progress just ignoring.
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Old 03-02-2018, 01:08 AM #4
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Default Re: jealousy + comparing myself to others

Have you tried loving-kidness meditation. The idea is that you set aside 10 minutes a day to wish yourselves and others happiness. The goal is to practice letting go the focus on jealousy and opening up. For me this personally worked really well to reduce my anxiety and jealousy.

Loving kidness meditation is simple. Sit down for 5 to 10 minutes in a calm area. Then first focus on your breath to relax. Next in your mind repeat good wishes to you. Finally wish the same to someone else you know. Repeat the wishes for you and some other person or group alternatingely.

Example wishes could be (but you can also make your own, just keep the same for at least a few days. The focus should be on wishing, not on remembering sentences by heart...):
- May I be safe from harm.
- May I be happy just as I am.
- May I be peaceful with whatever is happening.
- May I be healthy and strong.
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Old 03-05-2018, 09:54 AM #5
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Default Re: jealousy + comparing myself to others

Oh god, I can feel you so bad >< Jealousy is such a destructive feeling, it makes me hate myself too haha.
Usually when I notice that I am comparing myself to some else, I just.. stop, I try to think about something else, anything else. It keeps me safe from feelings of envy and worthlessness.
Also working on improving your self-esteem may be a cool idea ^^;

Good luck <3
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Old 07-06-2018, 01:57 AM #6
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Default Re: jealousy + comparing myself to others

Im like that too which makes me wanna hide in a room and not come out. It hurts me and others when im around them.

I have been told i have a big ego and im like a narcissist and i dont want to admit i am that. I dont really know what i am. I always thought my reactions to things have been normal.
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Old 08-12-2018, 07:35 AM #7
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Default Re: jealousy + comparing myself to others

I think we all have moments like that. I just try to remind myself that someone else's happiness has nothing to do with mine. I also try to remember that everyone has problems, too. Like when you scroll through facebook and you see all the happy photos of families, parties, friends, vacations, etc. Just remember that people are more likely to share the good in their lives than the bad. And try to be happy for them because their successes have probably been preceded by times of bad fortune, too.
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Old 01-26-2019, 04:34 PM #8
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Default Re: jealousy + comparing myself to others

I get it. I feel the same sometimes when people are so far ahead in life and mines dead and going backwards
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Old 01-26-2019, 04:47 PM #9
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Default Re: jealousy + comparing myself to others

I am not a jealous person but I used to be an envious person and that mostly happened when I was really unhappy with myself. For me I experienced that a lot when I was actively drinking, the alcohol would start out making me happy and loose and it wound up making me angry and bitter. Therapy helped a lot with helping me make peace with myself but after almost dying and losing everything its gratitude that eliminated the envy. I was so luck I stopped drinking and that I was able to. And I am so lucky I didnt lose my family or my life. Once I got through the grueling w/d (because like a fool I went cold turkey when I should have gone to detox) and was able to open my eyes and not have the room spin or be covered in sweat or have my hands shake- I had hope that I could get better. I had hope that I was still alive. That is not to say I am never envious. I think we all have at least one person we can feel envy over. But its so infrequent that I cant even remember when it happened last. Yes, I think its gratefulness that changed the tide for me in that way.
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Old 01-28-2019, 06:07 PM #10
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Default Re: jealousy + comparing myself to others

Quote:
Originally Posted by yogurtssss View Post
How do you even fix this?

I get really bitter when I'm around people happier than me. Admittedly I act kinda like bully. I just really hate myself.
Interesting post Yogurtssss. Thank you for sharing your truth here. Not everyone would admit to jealousy or acting "kinda like a bully" sometimes. I am impressed by your courage and honesty. I am so sorry that you feel like you hate yourself. That's a really deep and difficult feeling. And I think that's the piece you want to address when trying to stop the jealousy and comparing or "bullying." When you feel better about yourself, you won't resent other people's happiness. See what I mean?

Instead of hating yourself or looking at what you don't have compared to others, have you tried looking at what you do have? Your strengths. Things you like about yourself. Compliments you've received at any point. Good things you've done for others. They are there if you look for them. For example, based on your post, I would say you are self-reflective, deep, intelligent, brave, and strong. It wasn't easy to open up and share the way you did. That says a lot of good things about your character

The more you build up your self-esteem and take time to love and honor yourself, the less you'll notice yourself comparing to others. Have you ever tried talking to a psychologist? That really helped me to build my self-esteem.

The fact that you posted about this means you're aware of the problem and hopeful about fixing it (if you weren't hopeful you probably wouldn't have bothered) and that's a great foundation for progress.

Peace and positive energy to you
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