advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Jenn2019
Newly Joined
Jenn2019 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2019
Location: California
Posts: 1
3 yr Member
Default Jun 24, 2019 at 01:13 AM
  #1
I can’t seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I need to do at all. I have been lazy with everything and I’m a mess! Help!
Jenn2019 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MaverickLovesYou, SprinkL3, unaluna

advertisement
unaluna
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
unaluna's Avatar
unaluna Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention me?Thanks!
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,751 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
66k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 24, 2019 at 11:55 AM
  #2
Get stuff out of your way. Whatever is hindering you? Of course, then i lack the motivation to get that carp out of the way...
unaluna is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
AspiringAuthor
Veteran Member
AspiringAuthor has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Mountain View
Posts: 629
5 yr Member
374 hugs
given
Default Jun 27, 2019 at 10:17 PM
  #3
Have you tried conjuring up a mental image of how it would be with the things that need to be done, DONE? How would you feel when they get done? What would improve in your life? What would be rewarding about that new state of being? In physical terms, how would your reality look like when the necessary things get done?

__________________
Bipolar I w/Psychotic features

Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg
Gabapentin 1200 mg
Melatonin 10 mg
Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past)


past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax
AspiringAuthor is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
cygne, Desoxyn, missjess3535, SprinkL3, unaluna
Anonymous45521
Guest
Anonymous45521 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jul 20, 2019 at 07:43 AM
  #4
I find making a list to be helpful. When you cross things off it feels amazing and shockingly gives you an idea of how much you didn't think you got done, but did.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Astreja
Member
Astreja needs to get to bed earlier.
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Winnipeg, Canada
Posts: 46
3 yr Member
8 hugs
given
Default Jul 24, 2019 at 01:14 AM
  #5
Try this: Pick one task or project. Just one. Do a little bit of it every day, at about the same time of day. Take a break after you've worked on it for a while. If you feel like it, do something different later.

Tasks tend to be one of three types: Recurring (e.g. doing the dishes), short once-and-done (e.g. hanging up a picture, making an appointment over the phone) and large projects (e.g. writing a thesis, major home repairs). I've found it's best to have only one large project active at a time, but you can knock off small stuff whenever you feel like it. Recurring things just have to be made into habits.

And early is better than late. Willpower tends to fade over the course of the day.
Astreja is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, AspiringAuthor, missjess3535, SprinkL3, unaluna
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2019 at 04:43 AM
  #6
I try and practice the 15 minutes rule. I pick something and set a timer and work on it for 15 minutes. After that I am free to take a break but its a short one and I go back to 15 minutes again. This is not perfect though there are plenty of times where 15 minutes is all I can do.

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
missjess3535, SprinkL3, unaluna
bpforever1
Magnate
 
bpforever1's Avatar
bpforever1 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: earth
Posts: 2,063
5 yr Member
1,598 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 29, 2019 at 12:46 PM
  #7
I have a tendency to do things obsessively then not doing anything. For me, balance is the key. I suggest that you do some things that make you feel good about yourself also while doing other things that may bore or stress you out. Thus, reward yourself for doing tasks that may not interest you or that you don't really feel like doing.
bpforever1 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
Mopey
Magnate
 
Mopey's Avatar
Mopey remove
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
5 yr Member
1,520 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 29, 2019 at 03:15 PM
  #8
Dear Jenn2019:

You are TOTALLY singing my song here. In my own daily life, this is probably the thing that frustrates me the most. Everyone who has replied to you has mentioned good, time-tested techniques. They are all good, and I know all of them, and yet..........

I know that when I look at a task to be done, it looks like a huge monolith. The only way I can ever get anything done is to slow down, and start breaking the task down into baby steps. The first is often the hardest. And just that process feels like pulling teeth, because it doesn't come naturally. And I'm impatient. I want it done NOW, so I can rest and go back to reading, or whatever. The fact that I'm going to have to do it step by step and completion is far away frustrates me.

Focussing in on a single task frustrates me, as I hear all the other undone tasks hooting at me from the sidelines, saying "what about me? what about me?" But you've got to focus on that task, or it'll never get done.

Once you start, and you take the first step, and then the 2nd, you may find yourself building momentum. Or not, but if you do, it helps.

Just try not to take on too much at once, and then, if and when you do get finished, check it off your list. Give yourself the credit for having accomplished it, and maybe a little reward, before you start the next. That really does feel good.

Now that I've given you all this advice, back to my own life. Hmmm, there are all these ugly spots on the floor.......
Mopey is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
 
Thanks for this!
SprinkL3
DarrenPH
Account Suspended
DarrenPH has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 38
8 yr Member
4 hugs
given
Default Feb 15, 2020 at 02:03 PM
  #9
Is this an issue with lack of motivation on what you need to do, like bathing, getting dressed, eating? If so you need to see a doctor. If it's motivation for stuff that you need to do like household chores then I would suggest you make a list of all the things you need to do but don't want to, delegate what you can and then try to figure out if there's anything you can add to the experience to make it more pleasurable, that way you will need very little motivation to do it.

Let me give you an example, I don't like cooking too much and I hate cleaning but when I'm in the kitchen I put on a good audio book to listen to and I really enjoy it.
DarrenPH is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
cupid1031, SprinkL3
Iamlovable
New Member
Iamlovable has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2020
Location: Belgium Europe
Posts: 2
3 yr Member
Default Aug 28, 2020 at 03:39 PM
  #10
Good idea, putting on that e- book!
Iamlovable is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
Nicks_Nose
Imperfect Idealist
 
Nicks_Nose's Avatar
Nicks_Nose has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 8,494
10 yr Member
6,341 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 31, 2020 at 07:15 AM
  #11
I have to get out of my retail job in order too get my diet back on track. By Diet, I do not mean weight loss, but a nutritional improvement diet. Avoiding the crap I am so used to snacking on because it is in easy reach, cheaper, and a quick stimulant to the brain.

__________________
Extranei eloquentiamque libertas
(Outsiders have freedom of thought and expression)
Nicks_Nose is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
Alive99
Veteran Member
Alive99 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2020
Location: Hungary
Posts: 505
3 yr Member
172 hugs
given
Default Dec 05, 2020 at 10:21 AM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarrenPH View Post
Is this an issue with lack of motivation on what you need to do, like bathing, getting dressed, eating? If so you need to see a doctor. If it's motivation for stuff that you need to do like household chores then I would suggest you make a list of all the things you need to do but don't want to, delegate what you can and then try to figure out if there's anything you can add to the experience to make it more pleasurable, that way you will need very little motivation to do it.

Let me give you an example, I don't like cooking too much and I hate cleaning but when I'm in the kitchen I put on a good audio book to listen to and I really enjoy it.
For me it's the former, like I can't do what I absolutely need done. Only like absolute last minute and am getting burned out over that. And no, antidepressants did not help. SSRIs make me even less motivated. Wellbutrin did not give me motivation for long enough before someone else ****ed it up for me... I've processed through those earlier emotional issues by now that would cause that but there is still one big motivation problem I just realised, I REALLY need some help to come out of my head every morning and not feel like I DON'T EXIST to anyone, which is WHY I don't have the motivation in the first place. I had very bad emotional abuse/blocks in the way but those are gone now thankgod, but I still have this one major issue. Any idea on this one? Because the doctors couldn't help and all I REALLY want is someone to keep me in mind during the day for a few months. Like regularly check in with me if I EXIST, if I'm doing ANYTHING at all, and then I would be able to do that "anything", whatever needs done. I'm able to get dressed on better days but the rest uhhhhhhhh

Also I moved to my mom's place a couple of months ago because this got so bad that I was no longer able to feed myself, like I just didn't care to eat anymore when living on my own. At least that part is okay now. I mean the eating is okay now. Showering was never a problem though.

And yes I've been seeing therapists and I've been seeing an LCSW in a programme for over 2.5 years now and they couldn't be bothered with this issue enough, only lukewarm attempts.....But I was also busy processing the emotional abuse anyway. So that's out of the way enough by now... But I NEED to get this solved before I completely BURN OUT over this. It's crazy neverending bootcamp trying to pull myself out of this on my own and I have to admit it's impossible doing it alone on my own.

For more context I'm tryin to do online work remotely and I'm alone all day, my mother and her husband are off doing whatever other things (in the same apartment but they are really busy with their own things and my mother doesn't understand why I ask her to come in to my room and talk to me like every x minutes so I can stay outside my head and do things. So we never tried because she just plain doesn't understand even though she is well-meaning otherwise)

Thanks so much for reading. I'm totally totally at my wit's end with this. I had to really work hard at it to be able to even get over the negative emotions and decide that I make myself hope one last time and reach out for help one last time on this before I just cannot go on at all with life. Not a threat, I really just cannot see myself doing anything other than vegetating in bed all day!! (While in bed perhaps living off benefits, inheritance if my family dies etc. Or plain starving myself to death if I stop caring to eat again)
Alive99 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
dancinglady
Poohbah
dancinglady Primary concern
 
Member Since: May 2013
Posts: 1,190
10 yr Member
913 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 05, 2021 at 07:00 PM
  #13
I have very low self esteem due to years of abuse with mental health staff. I don’t deserve nice things or a clean house so I don’t do anything but lay in bed.
dancinglady is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
Aviza
Magnate
 
Aviza's Avatar
Aviza Calm
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
10 yr Member
86 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 22, 2021 at 08:41 PM
  #14
create a plan for yourself. what will it take to do what you want to achieve. what steps can you take today?

__________________
Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P.
Daughter: 20
Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs.
Aviza is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
SprinkL3
Account Suspended
SprinkL3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2021
Location: DELETED
Posts: 2,752 (SuperPoster!)
2 yr Member
10.9k hugs
given
Arrow Oct 22, 2021 at 09:40 PM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alive99 View Post
For me it's the former, like I can't do what I absolutely need done. Only like absolute last minute and am getting burned out over that. And no, antidepressants did not help. SSRIs make me even less motivated. Wellbutrin did not give me motivation for long enough before someone else ****ed it up for me... I've processed through those earlier emotional issues by now that would cause that but there is still one big motivation problem I just realised, I REALLY need some help to come out of my head every morning and not feel like I DON'T EXIST to anyone, which is WHY I don't have the motivation in the first place. I had very bad emotional abuse/blocks in the way but those are gone now thankgod, but I still have this one major issue. Any idea on this one? Because the doctors couldn't help and all I REALLY want is someone to keep me in mind during the day for a few months. Like regularly check in with me if I EXIST, if I'm doing ANYTHING at all, and then I would be able to do that "anything", whatever needs done. I'm able to get dressed on better days but the rest uhhhhhhhh

Also I moved to my mom's place a couple of months ago because this got so bad that I was no longer able to feed myself, like I just didn't care to eat anymore when living on my own. At least that part is okay now. I mean the eating is okay now. Showering was never a problem though.

And yes I've been seeing therapists and I've been seeing an LCSW in a programme for over 2.5 years now and they couldn't be bothered with this issue enough, only lukewarm attempts.....But I was also busy processing the emotional abuse anyway. So that's out of the way enough by now... But I NEED to get this solved before I completely BURN OUT over this. It's crazy neverending bootcamp trying to pull myself out of this on my own and I have to admit it's impossible doing it alone on my own.

For more context I'm tryin to do online work remotely and I'm alone all day, my mother and her husband are off doing whatever other things (in the same apartment but they are really busy with their own things and my mother doesn't understand why I ask her to come in to my room and talk to me like every x minutes so I can stay outside my head and do things. So we never tried because she just plain doesn't understand even though she is well-meaning otherwise)

Thanks so much for reading. I'm totally totally at my wit's end with this. I had to really work hard at it to be able to even get over the negative emotions and decide that I make myself hope one last time and reach out for help one last time on this before I just cannot go on at all with life. Not a threat, I really just cannot see myself doing anything other than vegetating in bed all day!! (While in bed perhaps living off benefits, inheritance if my family dies etc. Or plain starving myself to death if I stop caring to eat again)
It sounds like you lack purpose, and like you've been languishing. People need purpose in life. Purpose is a strong motivator, apart from mere survival.

I used to wake up every morning feeling suicidal, and then going back to sleep or just lying there because I had nowhere to go, no one to see, nothing but losses in my life, and no energy. I had low energy even when I did have purpose - all due to chronic fatigue syndrome, so I knew for me that it was a combination of both. The chronic fatigue meant less energy, meant less time spent with others, meant lowered productivity when I was in college, meant I wasn't getting into grad school, meant more losses, more pain, more increased worsening conditions, etc.

For you, it might not be chronic fatigue, but it might be depression. Depression isn't something you can just snap out of. And if the meds aren't working, and if the therapy isn't working, you could be what professionals have labeled "treatment resistant." It doesn't mean that you purposely resist, but rather, your condition is severe enough to warrant a different approach - only, they haven't discovered what that approach is yet.

What helped me when I told my T about my feeling suicidal every morning was her allowing me to email her, and her setting a boundary stating that we'd discuss the emails in therapy, but that she would try (during business hours only) to send me a good-morning email every morning. Initially, it helped me look forward to waking up just to read that - at least on days when I was able to wake in time. I would still reply with a good-morning back to her, or a good-afternoon, if I woke up late. Over time, I woke up on time (or pulled an all-nighter when I couldn't sleep), just to look forward to that. She also saw me online twice a week, and she's been seeing me twice a week and sending me the good-mornings most of the time (not always), as she would reply to one of my emails. Not all therapists can do this, but it might be a suggestion for your T. Over time, I didn't have the suicidal thoughts in the morning. They would only come when I had really stressful times, but not upon waking. If your T can't do this, maybe an accountability buddy can do this for you - someone you know IRL, so that you have a known connection with that person. If you know someone IRL who can email you a good-morning or call you or even show up and see you for coffee, that would be something.

It also helped me to get up to at least do something, like update my spreadsheet with a list of things I needed to do around the apartment today, like laundry or cleaning my floors. If I didn't do it, or if I knew I was having a rough week, I would NOT write specifics, but rather I'd write "clean apartment the best I can while relaxing intermittently." I would be able to accomplish that, even if it meant that I relaxed more than I cleaned, and that all I did was put something away without cleaning it yet. But this might require the ability to feel pleasure after accomplishing a task. If you have anhedonia, or are unable to feel pleasure from tasks, then that might be why you're treatment-resistant, and it might explain why you don't feel pleasure from these goals at all.

I'm sorry that the meds and talk therapies aren't helping you. It sounds like what you need is a listening ear, some comfort, some validation that you're not alone - even if it means that nothing anyone says will make you feel better, since you might have challenges with the ability to feel pleasure from even that.

I think about it like people losing their ability to taste when dealing with long-covid. I've not experienced it, and I can't imagine what people go through when foods taste horrible or have no taste at all, and when smell interferes with taste as well - meaning, you can't smell or that which you do smell is horrible and completely off. It's hard to feel pleasure from eating or drinking when everything tastes horrible. Perhaps some people might feel pleasure from the weight-loss thing, but that is only short-lived when compared to how much we were used to being able to taste and smell. Those losses are themselves depressing. They can't feel pleasure eating or drinking like they used to, and they're desperate to find a way to cure that problem - or at least manage it toward finding something that tastes or smells pleasurable. All the suggestions in the world would mean nothing when people don't understand what it feels like to go without taste and smell, and to go without feeling pleasure while eating.

So, while I do understand the waning of being able to feel pleasure as well as the fatigue that goes along with depression (amongst other things, like my other illnesses), I may not fully understand the depths of what you're going through.

Can you write a list of anything that used to give you pleasure, or still does? If you can write a list with the intensity of pleasure for each item, and then bring that list with you to your psychiatrist and therapist, then that might help better inform them about why the past treatments weren't working. The intensity scale could go something like this: 0 = no pleasure whatsoever, 1 = minimal pleasure in thought but not feelings, 2 = pleasure just to bide the time, 3 = pleasure, but not enough to make me happy, 4 = pleasure, enough to distract and make me happy, and 5 = pleasure that brings about joy - something that helps me to avoid depressing thoughts. You can also come up with YOUR OWN intensity scale with your own numbers and words.

Don't give up, as much as you want to. Hang in there. Keep posting here, if it at least offers a place to vent and find others who struggle similarly or at least understand in part.
SprinkL3 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:11 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.