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Default Aug 31, 2019 at 03:38 PM
  #1
I am reading the secret. And no matter what you think of the law of attraction, I can't help but notice that to do what is required for that... I would need to take my life and turn it inside out. It occurs to me that much of the successes people have with the LOA is due to this abrupt change in their lives.

I would need to be:

1. Happy a lot. No or little negative thoughts.
2. Trusting.
3. Kind.
4. Unconcerned with my finances.
5. Grateful.
6. Basically, ignorant... knowledge isn't power... it is often misery.

Someone once said that innocence is the lack of knowledge.. and I can't help but see that here. People become happy and joyful and because, they are kind of regressing into they way they were when they were children almost. But, whatever works works right? My current life being:

1. Unhappy and consumed with negative thoughts.
2. Untrusting and guarded.
3. Kind of mean.
4. Ungreatful
5. Obsessed with information - after all knowledge is power... but there is no doubt knowing things makes me worry about them.

Is getting me on a first class ticket to misery town.

But here is the question... CAN I DO IT? I am 48, is it possible to change your life like this at this age?
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Default Aug 31, 2019 at 04:02 PM
  #2
I do wish a lot that I could undo my entire life and start over doing a good job this time.No ,not possible in reality.But I can be content with what I am now.Life at present is what it is because of million things happened in the past.The ripple affect may continue into future IDK.I think acceptance is key here.I have read the secret too.Interesting book though.If we can accept our present reality we may sincerely see through the truths of us and others.That may result in new beginning.
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Smile Aug 31, 2019 at 04:15 PM
  #3
Hm-m-m-m... well... I don't know. I do believe this is possible. But, although I have tried to make significant changes in the way I lived my life in the past, I always ended up sinking back into the same old ruts. So I think, to some extent, it may depend on the person. Just because I couldn't do it doesn't mean it's not possible. And, actually, I would suspect being 48 might be a great time to do it. You're old enough to "know your way around the world", so to speak, but not so old that you've yet begun to run out of steam.

One problem I always had was I was married & my wife had expectations as to who I would be & how I would live my life. So I wasn't free to simply do whatever I wanted to do... or be the person I felt like I should have been. In your case, if you're not encumbered by family relationships, that may make it easier to simply throw caution to the wind & strive to become the person you believe you could be. I do think, if you want to try to evolve from the person you are now, now is the time to do it. It won't get easier the older you get.

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Default Aug 31, 2019 at 04:20 PM
  #4
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Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
One problem I always had was I was married & my wife had expectations as to who I would be & how I would live my life. So I wasn't free to simply do whatever I wanted to do... or be the person I felt like I should have been.
You make an excellent point. I have considered that I may face constraints on my ability to do this because of my job. My job probably would not allow me really to act this way to the full extent. Not only would people notice but I would probably have to give up all of my current friends (who are negative ninnies). I have considered that changing my life could involve changing the job (thought that would be really tough to do because it would be giving up a federal government job with a pension) but I am really starting to think it might not be possible to keep that job until retirement.

Though I am not married with kids and I agree that would be much more difficult.

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though.If we can accept our present reality we may sincerely see through the truths of us and others.That may result in new beginning.
Agree, perhaps the only thing to do is to try to change each thing a little each day.
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Default Aug 31, 2019 at 04:25 PM
  #5
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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
You make an excellent point. I have considered that I may face constraints on my ability to do this because of my job. My job probably would not allow me really to act this way to the full extent. Not only would people notice but I would probably have to give up all of my current friends
Are you sure you know what you want to change about your life? Possibly make that your first goal and go for the rest later. And so what if your friends notice. Maybe take their thought into consideration too. If they are your real friends, what they say matters. If they leave you, okay fine. But they could help you build a better you for you, and them and help you reach your goals.
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Default Sep 01, 2019 at 07:36 AM
  #6
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Are you sure you know what you want to change about your life? Possibly make that your first goal and go for the rest later. And so what if your friends notice. Maybe take their thought into consideration too. If they are your real friends, what they say matters. If they leave you, okay fine. But they could help you build a better you for you, and them and help you reach your goals.
Perhaps the better word would be resistance or interference. Actually I have a super negative "friend" and she is a serious problem and I don't know how to get rid of her. I mean I am in the next office to her AND she refuses to respect such niceties as not walking in my office when the door is closed. I have spoken to her about it. Anyway .. I think a lot of the behaviors, at a work place that is toxic and used to me acting one way for 17 years... could cause problems if I started acting differently. For instance what if people took my kindness and joy as hitting on them? Which I could see happening. What if those who are evil and backstabbers took my trust to make problems. I feel like a long term workplace is as much of a trap as marriage on my ability to reinvent myself.

All of that being said, I think perhaps the key is to do this slowly. One step at a time so people don't notice too much.
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Default Sep 03, 2019 at 06:09 PM
  #7
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All of that being said, I think perhaps the key is to do this slowly. One step at a time so people don't notice too much.
Today I got up and did my exercises in the morning. I imagined a good day unfolding and was happy to go to the dentist for a cleaning. Upon getting off the subway, walking down there, it was a stupendous fall day and the dentist office is off one of the most amazing streets in the world. I was walking down this street watching all the new college students in my town being amazed, walking by things that people come to my city to take photos of. I thought, man I am lucky.

The appointment was great as well. The cleaner did a great job. There was one bad thing that they think I might have a problem with a root canal but I will see if I can put my mojo to work on that.

When I got to work I keep giving out positive and kind vibes. Not in a weird way but if my friend complained I redirected the conversation to something we could be excited about and pointed out that maybe things could still go her way.

We went and got coffee and sat on the ocean in front of my workplace. It was 78 degrees amazing sun, sitting on the ocean in a lovely table, and as I said, we are so lucky.

Later on the subway my friend goes.. "man who gave you the positive pills today." I laughed and said, high on life.

Before leaving work I said to myself, this trip home will be eventless and fine... and it was and in the car on the way home I said, when I arrive my cats eye will be better and, it was! It seems to be coming along.

The thing is... acting this way was.. so far, an amazing boon. It is as if I had a weight taken off my chest. I feel like the universe is my friend not my enemy. I felt all day like I had a friend beside me... while normally I feel like the universe is out to get me. Instead of fearing walking into the house I wanted to get home. Instead of dreading the dentist I knew it was going to be a good session with a personable cleaner.

Ok maybe I drank the kool aid and in a week this will be another fad but, got to say, it seemed like a pretty good day.
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Default Sep 14, 2019 at 06:02 PM
  #8
I believe fully in the ability to change your life. I have many times over. The problem with the secret and books like it are it are you can change your life. I was content in my 2nd marriage, I thought that was a bad thing. I had thoughts that came to pass. IT ruined my life. Thoughts do create our reality. Right now I'm working on a dream. I did when I was young but didn't follow through on the steps. I'm seeing if it works now that I'm 45. Opportunities do present themselves. You have to take them. I cracked my brain because I got spun out on all the avenues my life was taking. I'm trying not to the let that happen again. But yes our thoughts do create our reality. But there's more to it than that, and it can quickly get out of control.

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Default Sep 15, 2019 at 07:13 AM
  #9
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The problem with the secret and books like it are it are you can change your life. I was content in my 2nd marriage, I thought that was a bad thing.
I can see that. I read the book "the hero" (part of the Secret series) and it definitely was highly motivational... I was just about ready to type up a resignation letter. But I have pulled back. That would be a mistake. I think a lot of the suggestions in the secret are good ones. Since doing more work on it I have seen that a lot of people say you don't have to be super positive to have the LOA work but I feel like that book smacked me upside the head with the idea that I wasn't living a healthy life.

I have tried to incorporate more positive things into my life. That is a good thing.
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Default Sep 27, 2019 at 04:55 PM
  #10
Not for nothing but there are many reasons to and ways we can change our lives. One with our motivation and two without hesitation. I have the power to be a better me. I am glad you did not put in a resignation letter, because both your stability and ability are important to make changes to your life. But yes, I agree with your conclusion that small changes, slow and steady are most effective.

Working together with your very best means of positivity, we do act in a way that we can achieve what we want only when we know what we want and we make our own means of getting there. For example, I had a yelling fit today, yes I yelled and screamed, and I did not know what I was after. But I did figure that out in the process, all it took was the release of a little over the top energy. But I have a strong knowing of myself and a strong knowing of what I believe is wrong and unethical. Just a bit of a fit. No harm done.

I live a life of non-violence but I could be a little more peaceful and patient with myself. One of my goals has always been to learn and understand things a little bit better and do what I can to be a better, more altruistic me. How can I do this before understanding myself? I sit alone pondering, in thought while the rest of the world remains in motion. I take my own time as needed, I try not to get in anyone's way, and I ask for help when I'm good and ready.

Last edited by Anonymous40258; Sep 27, 2019 at 05:38 PM..
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Default Sep 27, 2019 at 06:09 PM
  #11
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But yes, I agree with your conclusion that small changes, slow and steady are most effective. .
Whenever I get a new self help book I tend to take about 50% of it into my life and not the rest. I think the answer is that I probably won't be able to change my life fully. But I can take joy in the few areas that I have been able to change and have improved my life.

In the last month I have been
1. slightly more happy.
2. slightly more trusting (and unfortunately it is looking like it bit me in the arse).
3. Much more unconcerned with finances and that has brought me joy.
4. Slightly more greatful... I often forget to be grateful.
5. Slightly more ignorant... it is so hard to avoid the news these days.
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Default Mar 21, 2020 at 05:39 PM
  #12
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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
I am reading the secret. And no matter what you think of the law of attraction, I can't help but notice that to do what is required for that... I would need to take my life and turn it inside out. It occurs to me that much of the successes people have with the LOA is due to this abrupt change in their lives.

I would need to be:

1. Happy a lot. No or little negative thoughts.
2. Trusting.
3. Kind.
4. Unconcerned with my finances.
5. Grateful.
6. Basically, ignorant... knowledge isn't power... it is often misery.

Someone once said that innocence is the lack of knowledge.. and I can't help but see that here. People become happy and joyful and because, they are kind of regressing into they way they were when they were children almost. But, whatever works works right? My current life being:

1. Unhappy and consumed with negative thoughts.
2. Untrusting and guarded.
3. Kind of mean.
4. Ungreatful
5. Obsessed with information - after all knowledge is power... but there is no doubt knowing things makes me worry about them.

Is getting me on a first class ticket to misery town.

But here is the question... CAN I DO IT? I am 48, is it possible to change your life like this at this age?
You can change your entire life at any age. There is no guarantee it will make you happier. "Change" is ubiquitous. What part of your life do you want to change? Your outer appearance? Your job? Your city? Your education? Your friendships? Your eating habits? Your hobbies?

If you want to change any part of your life, you will when you are ready to change. Change is scary because the outcome we plan for cannot be guaranteed. So, you have to accept that risk comes with the desire to change.
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Default May 05, 2020 at 01:44 PM
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I don't know but I believe the solution needs to be specific to you, to your pattern, rather than some general idealistic prescription.
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Default May 05, 2020 at 02:14 PM
  #14
I believe it would depend on understanding your particular pattern and how it might change. If that happened to be the same as some generic lifestyle principles, that could be implemented by the self, then it could work.
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Default Jul 14, 2020 at 10:07 PM
  #15
What do you believe? What are you telling yourself about change?

The answer you seek is inside you!!

I could leave it at those two lines but I won't. Change happens all around us. Often we don't realize that change has happened. Take the temperature outside, that changes gradually, and if that changes, then we can TOO!!! Change is a constant. Figuring out what we believe is the best way to understand what our subconscious tells us. Then taking the time to write then read what we wrote on change can help us to see that change is possible.

It sounds like you like reading. Look up Daniel Fisher, M.D. Ph.D., and Michelle Bengtson, both of them recovered from mental illness, for me Fisher's book was a blessing. Knowing that recovery is possible, that change happens helped me to understand that I'm not stuck in the medical model of mental illness. The medical model says that those with issues with mental health never recover. That is NOT true!!! Fisher and Bengtson proved that, and they are not the only ones. Change does happen. Science isn't the most helpful thing when it comes to behavior and connection. But that is my opinion. and It is NOT up for debate. We need to be vulnerable for change to happen.
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