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Newly Joined
Member Since Nov 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2
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#1
I always do this, I find it hard to think for myself and find it hard to make my own decisions and end up doing things I regret.
Like I'm meant to see a gastroenterologist about lower side discomfort and stool test that needed re-evaluating, Waited 12 months, the appointment was cancelled and moved by the hospital twice, and every visit caused me anxiety and stress, was pressured at home, felt depressed, hated life. So I cancelled it. At the the time I hadn't notice the symptoms I was complaining to the GP about. I thought it had gone. Mentally I'm fine now, just regret and frustrated with myself now the symptoms are back, sore, cramped but mild, sometimes they go but come back. The waiting list on the NHS here in UK is quite long, so would have to wait around 12 months again. I feel ashamed having to go back and ask again for a referal. I have personal stuff that I find hard to tell anyone. I feel stupid and hate that I always do things and regret them later. |
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winter4me
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Skeezyks, winter4me
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#2
I'm rather feeling the same way at the moment... feeling stupid & hate that I do things & regret them later. Too late for me to undo the damage now. (I also have personal stuff I find hard to tell anyone about. Actually I never tell anyone about it.) I'm sorry you are in this difficult situation. I hope everything works out well for you in the end.
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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winter4me
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winter4me
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2012
Location: new england
Posts: 7,733
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#3
I often cancel appointments I make...and then beat myself up about it...sometimes I eventually make it to one...I think...and I've realized that over the years I have developed certain "story lines" that aren't quite accurate and are meant to avoid the things I do not tell...so, the regrets pile up (wish I could put them in the compost pile)
so (((((((((((((((((((((big hug))))))))))))))))))) & hope you are OK. __________________ "...don't say Home / the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris |
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