"attitude"

My parents always get mad at me for giving them "attitude".
Well maybe I'd be less pissed off at them all the time if they respected themselves and each other.
Ofc I don't have the guts to say that to their faces.

- AJ

Hey, I assume you are a teenager or a young adult. At this point, you are very aware of their limitations--and of course, wanting independence.

I remember those days very well. (I won't scare you by telling you my mother is now 85, and I have grown children--and my mother can still be an issue!)

I guess they define "attitude" as not wanting to follow their guidelines, talking back to them, etc.?

The tough part is when you are still dependent on them for your financial needs--and other needs. The "as long as you are still living under my roof" card is not one that really can be trumped.

I gather they are really struggling themselves. Money matters? Marriage issues? Family problems? Being around middle-age is not an easy time for adults either. I sometimes wonder why people naturally have teenagers when they are often having their own life crises!

When school starts again, then you might want to talk to the counselor about your situation, to get an objective perspective.

Please remember that your parents are not perfect. No humans are. Yes, they might even be more flawed than some humans. Are they actually abusing you?

If it's any consolation at all, if you keep your grades up, keep out of legal trouble, etc., then you will be able to have your own life and make your own decisions. I suggest you try to look at things objectively. Is the advice they are giving you reasonable or at least not harmful?

Hang in here! I know sometimes things don't seem fair. Of course, all I know is what you are telling me. Okay?

Thanks for all the advice.

My mom seems really unstable all the time. She constantly contradicts herself all the time and she's really defensive, so talking back to her doesn't work. She manipulates people's thoughts. Therefore, my dad basically has no personal opinions and does whatever he can to satisfy her... and always puts her before me. I'm not saying that he has to love me more, it's just that he acts like I don't matter. And between my mom and my dad, there's always so much arguing about in-laws... mainly my mom being defensive about how her husband's mother treats her.

I always stay quiet and do not say a word when they argue about me or otherwise because I don't want to have any say in it. I don't want to take sides, because my mom always thinks I'm on *her* side but sometimes I secretly think my dad is more reasonable as a person.

In short, it's confusing because my parents both love me to death, but they sure have strange ways of showing it. I start out with having my own stance but then I get manipulated by my mom's opinion (usually when she's feeling defensive) and my dad always tries to satisfy my mom to avoid conflict, even though it's unreasonable and he pretends I'm not there. Basically, yeah.

I don't know if it's me or if it's them... because I acknowledge that I'm flawed too. But I think there is a line between respect and support and they don't seem to know that line.

- AJ