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AlittleBITofCrazy
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Unhappy Nov 16, 2014 at 09:22 AM
  #1
My son is three years old and has been fully potty trained since May. But for the past two weeks he has been wetting himself, the bed, the couch. This seems to only happen at home, which is concerning. At school I understand when his friends go to the toilet, he will go too. But even though I sent him to toilet twice before nap time, he still we the bed.

He is a difficult child, strong willed and stubborn. I don't mind this as he is very independent and confident. He has also become very mommy-obsessed. I am sure he is feeling insecure about something, but I can't ignore his behavior just because he is insecure. I have told him that if he wets the bed again, he will not be allowed to go to swimming lessons. I tell him calmly and nicely, but firm. I have put diapers on at bed time, but it seems as though he thinks this is the easy way out.

Bed time has become a nightmare, as he wants me to carry him, cuddle him, tickle his back, sleep by him and stay in the room with him, which he has never needed before. I tell him 1 minute of back tickle, but he screams blue murder when I stop. This is difficult as I want him to feel secure, but at the same time I don't want to promote this needy behavior. I am always affectionate with him, we spend a lot of time together. Weekends he has nap time in bed with me (although I might have to reconsider seeing as though he wet my bed), we have bath night three times a week, he helps me cook and do laundry. He is actively involved in my daily life. So I can't see what the insecurity is caused from. He also can't explain it, being three years old. The bed wetting has to stop, diapers are expensive, and we have used that money for his extracurricular activities at school.

Any advice will be appreciated.
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Default Nov 16, 2014 at 11:26 AM
  #2
I'm not quite sure what to tell you. My step-daughter had a problem which they say is genetic - she was still doing it when she was 16 and I have no idea if she still does or not, but I was upset with the mom for not being more proactive about it at an earlier age. If it's a physical problem - and my husband said that his daughter went for about 3 weeks potty trained before doing this - then the best thing is the alarm system, which is something that attaches to your child's underwear and wakes the child at the sign of any wetness. Medication does not work consistently. The reason why kids like my step-daughter have this problem is that they sleep too deeply and are just not woken up by normal signals. Do you have a hard time waking your child up?
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AlittleBITofCrazy
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Default Nov 16, 2014 at 11:31 AM
  #3
No, he doesn't like sleep much. He is very easily woken.
There was a child in my class who wet himself a lot, even though we was not drinking near enough to account for that amount of urine, and after they had his circumcised it stopped, so maybe I should speak to my paed.
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Default Nov 16, 2014 at 09:07 PM
  #4
1) Any changes in schedule/life for him around the time this started? Any chance there has been any trauma? How long has this been going on? Any other behaviors that have changed besides this and the clinginess? Any other regression is skills?

2) Have him checked out by his pediatrician to make sure there are no medical issues that could be interfering with his abilities. UTI etc can cause problems.

3) How long had he been dry at night? Is this only happening during nap time or at night too?

4) If there are no medical issues the bell and pad is the best way to treat this. Medication usually stops working when you stop the meds. Continue to have him trying to go to the bathroom before bed. Have him only sleep in his own bed, and put a plastic sheet on the bed if you don't have one yet.

Here is a webmd article about bedwetting:

Bed-Wetting-Treatment Overview
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Default Nov 17, 2014 at 04:38 PM
  #5
Children really have no control over whether they wet the bed while they are sleeping or not. It's not something that can be trained into them. I wet my bed until I was 13, my daughter did until last year at age 9 and my 6 year old son is soaked most nights. He really wants to stop wearing diapers at night and I really want him to as well, but when we go with out it ends up with a soaked bed. Unfortunately, his body is just not ready. 3 years old is still very young and I know diapers are expensive, but I would go back to them for the time being.
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Default Nov 17, 2014 at 06:06 PM
  #6
In the meantime to protect your mattresses ...

Place a shower curtain directly on the mattress. Place an extra thick towel or two on top of the shower curtain. Then put the fitted sheet on over all that. It's easier (and cheaper) to wash linens than it is to try to clean and/or replace a mattress.

Hoping y'all get the situation figured out sooner than later, and try not to go too hard on the poor little fella ... It may be something he can't help and it would totally suck to be getting into trouble for something he couldn't help!

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AlittleBITofCrazy
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Default Nov 18, 2014 at 12:05 PM
  #7
I have a mattress protector on, and I never shout at him for bed wetting. I believe that making him nervous about the bed wetting will only worsen it.
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Default Nov 18, 2014 at 03:51 PM
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Good Job!

Wishing you the best ...

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Default Nov 18, 2014 at 11:36 PM
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Maybe he's been getting a lot of reinforcement about being a "big boy" and he's regressing a bit because he thinks you get more/different/better attention as a baby.
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Default Nov 19, 2014 at 08:40 AM
  #10
Is there any chance that he may be having nightmares? That can definitely be a cause for bed-wedding and insecurity about being in bed.

I wouldn't threaten consequences for wetting the bed. Maybe suggest a consequence if he doesn't go pee in the toilet before getting into bed... or consequences for throwing a fit when you try to leave the room. But not for actually wetting the bed.

Good luck!

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AlittleBITofCrazy
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Default Nov 23, 2014 at 07:36 AM
  #11
He has had 2 dry nights. But his temper, OMW. He is hurting me, and himself, and screaming. Therapist time, methinks.
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healingme4me
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Default Nov 29, 2014 at 10:02 PM
  #12
I am not convinced that deprivation of extra curricula activities is productive to stopping bed wetting, because it's not a conscious defiant behavior. Not truly a behavior at all.
And he's also, 3. I like pfrogs suggestion, i just suggested similar on another thread, in this forum.

Editn a personal note, couple of years ago I took my dad, to his first Bruins hockey game. Come to find out, his dad had pulled his opportunity to go, in his youth, because. ......he'd wet the bed...

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