Add on to 6 year old wetting her pants

livelaughlove22 · 09:45 PM

I am sorry, I was unable to edit it for some reason.
She now pees her pants at night. I don't want to constantly have to clean it up so I decided that at night she is going to wear pull-ups again. When I told her she got mad and said she wouldn't do it. I don't want to clean it up any longer. Should I give her another chance or tell her that if she was a big girl and didn't pee her pants she wouldn't have to wear pull-ups.

I know not to spank her or give her a timeout for having an accident because it could cause problems for her.

CANDC · Nov 21, 2014 at 10:23 PM

Hi LiveLaughLove. You are wise not to spank. I am not sure how rewards go.

What about having the 6 year old clean up the mess or wear pullups or whatever you call 6 year old diapers. That way it is her choice. Girls usually have big bladders. It could be a urinary tract infection or a psychological issue to attract attention from mom.

Other suggestions. No water or fluids after 5pm. must pee before going to bed. Wake up in middle of night and have them go the bathroom (might not be good idea for yours or their sleep.

googley · Nov 21, 2014 at 10:37 PM

You mentioned in another post that your fiance and his sons were moving in. Stress can cause problems. Nightmares can cause nocturnal enuresis. 2 hours before bed don't have her drink anything and as the other poster said, have her go to the bathroom before bed. Get her up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. If you go to bed late and she goes to bed early this can be right before you go to bed. You can also look into bell and pad systems that will wake her up if she starts to urinate at night. Have her help to clean it up, but don't scold or punish her. Be patient with her. I know her behaviors are very trying, but try to remember all she has been through and that she is dealing what that at the same time she is dealing with everything else.

livelaughlove22 · Nov 21, 2014 at 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CANDC

Hi LiveLaughLove. You are wise not to spank. I am not sure how rewards go.

What about having the 6 year old clean up the mess or wear pullups or whatever you call 6 year old diapers. That way it is her choice. Girls usually have big bladders. It could be a urinary tract infection or a psychological issue to attract attention from mom.

Other suggestions. No water or fluids after 5pm. must pee before going to bed. Wake up in middle of night and have them go the bathroom (might not be good idea for yours or their sleep.

She gets a spank for bad behavior , but not for an accident. She has to drink water hourly because she dehydrates easily. So maybe pull-ups are the best choice now. She won't clean it up. She refuses.

Yoda · Nov 21, 2014 at 11:27 PM

My son had enuresis well past the age of six. He took imipramine to help him control it.

Can't Stop Crying · Nov 22, 2014 at 12:01 PM

you can also get mattress pads that are designed to go on top of bedding (about the size of a twin bed, plastic underneath, attach to bed with elastic straps for easy removal)...that will minimize the amount of clean up needed..

try to be cautious about using "shaming" words....

Quote:

that if she was a big girl and didn't pee her pants she wouldn't have to wear pull-ups.

try to act like pull ups are no big deal...just part of getting ready for bed...

once she processes some of her trauma...the bed-wetting might resolve itself...

hang in there....

geis · Nov 22, 2014 at 06:03 PM

Double-voiding might help too. Basically, have her go 30 minutes before bedtime and then again right before going to bed.

You can also buy bedwetting alarms. There's a sensor thing that goes in her underwear, and it buzzes to wake her up when she starts to wet. That's what finally helped me stop wetting the bed. (Mine lasted until I was 9 or 10.)

CANDC · Nov 22, 2014 at 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by livelaughlove22

She gets a spank for bad behavior , but not for an accident. She has to drink water hourly because she dehydrates easily. So maybe pull-ups are the best choice now. She won't clean it up. She refuses.

I was spanked and so I am not an objective person. But I have struggled with that pain and suffering for most of my life. It was the thing to do 30-40 years ago. Ask your therapist or your child's doctor how to enforce rules without causing pain and suffering.

There are psychological consequences of spanking. Your child feels powerless to fend off a spanking. this causes inner harm greater than the physical pain. Do you know that studies have shown that children that are spanked are more likely to act out in ways like wetting their pants?

Not only is it not advisable psychologically. I am not a legal expert but I hear about football stars with legal consequences for hitting their children. I think it is time to find other ways of enforcing rules besides spanking. that could actually be the root cause of the problem. Talk to a medical professional. Don't just take my word.

livelaughlove22 · Nov 22, 2014 at 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CANDC

I was spanked and so I am not an objective person. But I have struggled with that pain and suffering for most of my life. It was the thing to do 30-40 years ago. Ask your therapist or your child's doctor how to enforce rules without causing pain and suffering.

There are psychological consequences of spanking. Your child feels powerless to fend off a spanking. this causes inner harm greater than the physical pain. Do you know that studies have shown that children that are spanked are more likely to act out in ways like wetting their pants?

Not only is it not advisable psychologically. I am not a legal expert but I hear about football stars with legal consequences for hitting their children. I think it is time to find other ways of enforcing rules besides spanking. that could actually be the root cause of the problem. Talk to a medical professional. Don't just take my word.

I don't cause a lot of pain. She just gets a few swats.

doyoutrustme · Nov 23, 2014 at 08:23 AM

To you maybe. Why do you think hitting 'works' at all? Why you are ashamed to do it in public? Hitting is an abuse of power that an adult has over a child. It's bullying, plain and simple. There's no justifying it.

Can't Stop Crying · Nov 23, 2014 at 09:11 AM

Bedwetting Directory: Find News, Features, and Pictures Related to Bedwetting

Can't Stop Crying · Nov 23, 2014 at 09:16 AM

Quote:

Generally speaking there are two main behavioral indicators of trauma following sexual abuse. Regression to an earlier developmental stage or loss of developmental tasks previously achieved and failure to learn or distortion of new developmental tasks.

Quote:

They may seem to take a backward step in development, sucking their thumbs, wetting their beds, refusing to go to sleep, or waking at night when they passed those stages long ago.

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They may test rules about bedtime, homework, or chores. School age children believe in rules. When something bad happens even if they obeyed the rules they become oppositional and testy.

Trauma responses in children

Can't Stop Crying · Nov 23, 2014 at 09:26 AM

101 Phrases of praise

i really do not believe she is intentionally wetting herself...studies have found it is commonly found in children with PTSD....studies have also found that positive reinforcement and reward systems provide the best results....

talk to her about the wetting, tell her the pull ups are just so she is not embarrassed by the accidents....refer to them as "accidents" because that is what it is...

Quote:

Soggy sheets and pajamas — and an embarrassed child — are a familiar scene in many homes

Quote:

Bladder training, moisture alarms or medication may help reduce bed-wetting.

Bed-wetting Definition - Diseases and Conditions - Mayo Clinic

SabinaS · Nov 23, 2014 at 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by livelaughlove22

I am sorry, I was unable to edit it for some reason.
She now pees her pants at night. I don't want to constantly have to clean it up so I decided that at night she is going to wear pull-ups again. When I told her she got mad and said she wouldn't do it. I don't want to clean it up any longer. Should I give her another chance or tell her that if she was a big girl and didn't pee her pants she wouldn't have to wear pull-ups.

I know not to spank her or give her a timeout for having an accident because it could cause problems for her.

Rather than tell her, could you involve her in the decision and talk it through, in a non shaming way? Telling her that "if she was a big girl and didn't pee her pants she wouldn't have to wear pull-ups." is actually shaming her. She can't help the bed wetting, I know that you know that - I can also understand that cleaning and washing sheets every day is hard going for you.

If you want her t wear pull ups, could you go with her to choose some (some have different characters) and mention that they are for big girls too? Make sure you let her know that it's ok and you're not angry.

Some great advice and articles on this thread, good luck. I know it isn't easy.

healingme4me · Nov 29, 2014 at 09:42 PM

Best thing, plastic mattress covering, don't make a big deal of it. Sucks to have to wash sheets, teach to use a towel over wetness, to not disrupt sleep hours, teach ho to bath in morning, to avoid uncleanliness. Eventually, she'll outgrow it.

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Add on to 6 year old wetting her pants

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Yoda who reads this, anyway? Member Since Oct 2006 Location: Appalachia Posts: 9,968 17	Nov 21, 2014 at 11:27 PM #5 My son had enuresis well past the age of six. He took imipramine to help him control it. __________________ The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous
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geis Member Member Since Oct 2014 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 357 9 17 hugs given	Nov 22, 2014 at 06:03 PM #7 Double-voiding might help too. Basically, have her go 30 minutes before bedtime and then again right before going to bed. You can also buy bedwetting alarms. There's a sensor thing that goes in her underwear, and it buzzes to wake her up when she starts to wet. That's what finally helped me stop wetting the bed. (Mine lasted until I was 9 or 10.)
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doyoutrustme Poohbah Member Since Jun 2012 Posts: 1,384 11 175 hugs given	Nov 23, 2014 at 08:23 AM #10 To you maybe. Why do you think hitting 'works' at all? Why you are ashamed to do it in public? Hitting is an abuse of power that an adult has over a child. It's bullying, plain and simple. There's no justifying it.
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Can't Stop Crying Elder Member Since Jan 2011 Location: missing Posts: 6,693 13	Nov 23, 2014 at 09:11 AM #11 Bedwetting Directory: Find News, Features, and Pictures Related to Bedwetting __________________ Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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healingme4me Perpetually Pondering Community Liaison Member Since Apr 2013 Location: New England Posts: 46,298 (SuperPoster!) 11 4,168 hugs given	Nov 29, 2014 at 09:42 PM #15 Best thing, plastic mattress covering, don't make a big deal of it. Sucks to have to wash sheets, teach to use a towel over wetness, to not disrupt sleep hours, teach ho to bath in morning, to avoid uncleanliness. Eventually, she'll outgrow it. Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk
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