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livelaughlove22
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Trig Nov 29, 2014 at 06:19 PM
  #1
Her dad signed her up for a modeling audition today. I felt obligated to take her because he keeps threatening to take her back from me. He wasn't charged with anything only his friends were but I have a bad feeling he has and would hurt her. I took her to the audition and she liked it, but I feel like it's not good for her recovery. They want her to model dresses and bathing suits. They had her in a tiny bikini and said right in front of her "we can photoshop out all of those scars." Am I overreacting or is this bad for her recovery?

They also wanted her bikini waxed. I do wax her eyebrows so she doesn't have a little unibrow but bikini waxing seems harsh. She also is taking it really seriously. She wouldn't eat much the last few days because she wanted to make sure she looked skinny.
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Default Nov 29, 2014 at 09:33 PM
  #2
What does her therapist feel? How about her mother?

Seems too soon, yet, seems her biological parents are reentering the picture and want their control back. Abused little girl and modeling

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Default Nov 29, 2014 at 09:56 PM
  #3
Seems like another abusive situation. Not sure how to get out of it now though. :/
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Default Nov 29, 2014 at 10:22 PM
  #4
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Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
What does her therapist feel? How about her mother?

Seems too soon, yet, seems her biological parents are reentering the picture and want their control back. Abused little girl and modeling

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He doesn't actually want to take care of her. He just wants her sometimes. But at thanksgiving I caught him reaching up her skirt so if he tries to take her I will fight him.
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Default Nov 29, 2014 at 10:48 PM
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He doesn't actually want to take care of her. He just wants her sometimes. But at thanksgiving I caught him reaching up her skirt so if he tries to take her I will fight him.
Forgive me, if I missed if you mentioned in the first post on this thread, but have you personally been to this modeling location, verified legitimacy?

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Default Nov 29, 2014 at 11:38 PM
  #6
How does a 5 year old girl have anything to wax in the bikini area? What did you do when you found her father reaching up her skirt? Given her history, it seems like that should have been reported to the police.
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Default Nov 30, 2014 at 05:41 AM
  #7
it is not good for her...i know you are struggling with meeting her father's demands so he doesn't take her....please report him...every single thing...

document every single interaction with him...i really believe he is using veiled threats to manipulate you...stand up to him!

she needs to be protected!

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Default Nov 30, 2014 at 08:20 AM
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Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
Forgive me, if I missed if you mentioned in the first post on this thread, but have you personally been to this modeling location, verified legitimacy?

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I took her to the audition. It is legitimate. But I'm worried the first time she's touched too close to a trigger area she will start being bad.
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Default Nov 30, 2014 at 08:29 AM
  #9
Last night I found her standing in the mirror picking at her body she hardly has any fat on her and keeps grabbing her skin and saying it needs to go or she won't be pretty.
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Default Nov 30, 2014 at 09:02 AM
  #10
Csa manifests itself in many ways. Tell her father, this isn't in her best interests right now.

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Default Nov 30, 2014 at 10:32 AM
  #11
Did you report the incident with his hand in her skirt? If not... you NEED to report that. It doesn't matter if "nothing happened" but that it was the starting of something that could have happened. Report and record everything. Keep a detailed journal of what he says about the modelling, and report down all of her behaviours and things she says about it. And pay attention to her eating habits (and listen in the bathroom possibly to ensure she doesn't make herself start throwing up).

It's clearly already having a horrible influence on her. She's interested in it because she wants to feel like her dad loves her... and now she thinks to do that she needs to be "pretty" and in the modelling thing. That's a horrific enough experience for healthy, stable, confident girls in loving families... let alone this poor girl.

And don't worry about her "being bad". No kid is bad - they can just make bad choices. Please don't ever tell her she's bad.... she'll incorporate that into her entire self-image. And if she DOES misbehave at the modelling thing? Well, that might turn out to be a good thing.. maybe they'll tell her she can't come back, and at least you'll have her removed from such a poisonous environment. Get the therapist and social workers involved in this - they should be having some say in what is a good choice or not for her.

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Default Nov 30, 2014 at 11:51 AM
  #12
Your first two posts said this:
"I am taking care of my friends 5 year old daughter for a while. Her and her ex husband are divorced and she recently discovered that anytime she's been at his house the past two and a half years, she's been sexually abused by him and his friends."

How could you not CALL THE POLICE if he had his hand up her dress?????
I am beginning to wonder about your posts, but can't figure out why you would want to deceive all of the wonderful folks here.
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Default Nov 30, 2014 at 12:38 PM
  #13
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Originally Posted by A Red Panda View Post
Did you report the incident with his hand in her skirt? If not... you NEED to report that. It doesn't matter if "nothing happened" but that it was the starting of something that could have happened. Report and record everything. Keep a detailed journal of what he says about the modelling, and report down all of her behaviours and things she says about it. And pay attention to her eating habits (and listen in the bathroom possibly to ensure she doesn't make herself start throwing up).

It's clearly already having a horrible influence on her. She's interested in it because she wants to feel like her dad loves her... and now she thinks to do that she needs to be "pretty" and in the modelling thing. That's a horrific enough experience for healthy, stable, confident girls in loving families... let alone this poor girl.

And don't worry about her "being bad". No kid is bad - they can just make bad choices. Please don't ever tell her she's bad.... she'll incorporate that into her entire self-image. And if she DOES misbehave at the modelling thing? Well, that might turn out to be a good thing.. maybe they'll tell her she can't come back, and at least you'll have her removed from such a poisonous environment. Get the therapist and social workers involved in this - they should be having some say in what is a good choice or not for her.

I reported it to the Prosecutor. She told me to not let him be alone with her under any circumstance.
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Default Nov 30, 2014 at 12:42 PM
  #14
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Originally Posted by A Red Panda View Post
Did you report the incident with his hand in her skirt? If not... you NEED to report that. It doesn't matter if "nothing happened" but that it was the starting of something that could have happened. Report and record everything. Keep a detailed journal of what he says about the modelling, and report down all of her behaviours and things she says about it. And pay attention to her eating habits (and listen in the bathroom possibly to ensure she doesn't make herself start throwing up).

It's clearly already having a horrible influence on her. She's interested in it because she wants to feel like her dad loves her... and now she thinks to do that she needs to be "pretty" and in the modelling thing. That's a horrific enough experience for healthy, stable, confident girls in loving families... let alone this poor girl.

And don't worry about her "being bad". No kid is bad - they can just make bad choices. Please don't ever tell her she's bad.... she'll incorporate that into her entire self-image. And if she DOES misbehave at the modelling thing? Well, that might turn out to be a good thing.. maybe they'll tell her she can't come back, and at least you'll have her removed from such a poisonous environment. Get the therapist and social workers involved in this - they should be having some say in what is a good choice or not for her.

Also, her therapist left town for the holiday so we haven't seen her in a week. I will ask her about it at her next session which is Tuesday.
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Default Dec 01, 2014 at 07:17 AM
  #15
Her therapist just got into the office and called me back right away. She's calling child protective services then getting us in today instead of tomorrow.
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Default Dec 05, 2014 at 02:49 PM
  #16
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Originally Posted by hannabee View Post
Your first two posts said this:
"I am taking care of my friends 5 year old daughter for a while. Her and her ex husband are divorced and she recently discovered that anytime she's been at his house the past two and a half years, she's been sexually abused by him and his friends."

How could you not CALL THE POLICE if he had his hand up her dress?????
I am beginning to wonder about your posts, but can't figure out why you would want to deceive all of the wonderful folks here.

I'm sorry that you feel that way. But I am not trying to fool anyone. There has been a lot that has happened out of my control. I am also not an expert so I don't know how to handle a lot of these situations. It's not easy. I've never had a child before her. I also do not post everything that happens.
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Default Dec 07, 2014 at 10:19 AM
  #17
Get her therpist to write a letter that modeling is negatively effecting her mental health

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Default Dec 10, 2014 at 10:44 PM
  #18
The restraining order against her dad was lifted due to lack of evidence. Now she has to model again or he will try to take her away from me. She went today and was so scared. The people who hurt her used to take photos and videos of it and she froze up when she heard the flash. She ran to me and started crying and said don't make me do this. Her dad yelled at her for crying and ruining her makeup, called her bad and told her to grow up among other things.
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Default Dec 11, 2014 at 12:21 AM
  #19
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The restraining order against her dad was lifted due to lack of evidence. Now she has to model again or he will try to take her away from me. She went today and was so scared. The people who hurt her used to take photos and videos of it and she froze up when she heard the flash. She ran to me and started crying and said don't make me do this. Her dad yelled at her for crying and ruining her makeup, called her bad and told her to grow up among other things.
Why does she have to model? Why can't you get a therapist to recommend that she doesn't do it? Why is there so little back up for you in taking on the enormous responsibility of this child? I mean with court ordered therapists.

Is her father just trying to make some money off of her or what? I don't mean to sound irate, I'm just very confused as to why the system isn't more involved on her and your behalf.

Last edited by Angelique67; Dec 11, 2014 at 02:16 AM..
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Default Dec 11, 2014 at 06:36 AM
  #20
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Originally Posted by Angelique67 View Post
Why does she have to model? Why can't you get a therapist to recommend that she doesn't do it? Why is there so little back up for you in taking on the enormous responsibility of this child? I mean with court ordered therapists.

Is her father just trying to make some money off of her or what? I don't mean to sound irate, I'm just very confused as to why the system isn't more involved on her and your behalf.
She does have a therapist. And she has tried to talk to him but he's not listening. He's got plenty of money so that's not it. I don't know why he's making her do this.
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