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Member
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 137
9 22 hugs
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Dec 06, 2014 at 03:13 PM
#1
Negotiation! Instead of telling her what to do I am working with her to find compromises. For example - I say it's bed time and she wants to watch two more shows. We compromise to 1 more show.
I say she needs to eat 10 more bites she says she's done eating. Compromise at 5 more bites. I really think this is going to work. |
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2011
Location: missing
Posts: 6,693
13 
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Dec 06, 2014 at 03:22 PM
#2
awesome!
__________________  Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
20 132 hugs
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Dec 06, 2014 at 03:31 PM
#3
That's great. She gets a chance to feel like what she wants is duly considered, but she also accepts limits. I teach a method of parenting and working with kids that involves negotiation called Collaborative Problem Solving. There is a website at Thinkkids.org that offers resources for learning this method. Kids want to do well, but may not have all of the skills they need. They need to feel heard and recognized, and they will follow a workable solution much better when they have a say in it than when adults just tell them how it is. Besides, it helps them to think it through and learn how to solve problems for themselves.
__________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
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Member
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 137
9 22 hugs
given |
Dec 06, 2014 at 10:05 PM
#4
It's working so well. She wanted her nails a very bright pink color that don't match a dress she is wearing to a holiday party tomorrow. So we negotiated her toes to be pink and her fingers to be a color that matche'd her dress. No crying Or drama!
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 technigal
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2011
Location: missing
Posts: 6,693
13
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Dec 07, 2014 at 02:20 PM
#5
that is great that you found something that works for both of you....
__________________ Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2
9 |
Dec 08, 2014 at 12:14 AM
#6
unfortunately when I try negotiation, I feel like I am negotiating with Kim Jong Un
on nuclear weapons |
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StressedMess
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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