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connect.the.stars
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Default Dec 26, 2014 at 02:51 PM
  #1
I would love to hear your opinions on what makes a good parent. I used to think that it was solely based on what you could provide to your child in terms of education, food, shelter, and the like. But now I realize there is also the emotional support factor.

I think my parents did a solid job with the first part. They are very good at giving me the things you can purchase with money that facilitate successful growth. Especially considering that they immigrated to America with broken English and very little money, they have more than exceeded my expectations as providers.

But there is hardly a day where I feel like I can connect with them properly. I don't think they are very good listeners. They say they will listen, but they do most of the talking. Slowly, I have learned to not say anything because my opinion will just be rejected anyway.

I am not a parent, but I would love to have kids in the future. Currently 22. Not rushing to find a significant other or anything like that. I just wish to gain some perspective on good supportive parenting since I have little example by which to follow. I am afraid of unintentionally harming my children if I cannot give them what they need emotionally.

What stories, ideas, or tips do you guys have on this topic?
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Default Dec 26, 2014 at 06:08 PM
  #2
I think one of the most important things we can do for our children is to be present when they want to talk to us. If they have open communication when they are young, I think they continue to do so making it easier for them to express their joys, pain and fears.

Also, I think having good boundaries and being consistent is important.

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Last edited by gayleggg; Dec 26, 2014 at 06:10 PM.. Reason: Added content
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Default Dec 27, 2014 at 01:36 PM
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kindness and being able to show a child exactly what is right and what is wrong. also compassion, consistency, generosity, honesty and validation of feelings.
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Default Dec 28, 2014 at 07:55 AM
  #4
*Consistency and boundaries
*Sense of humor
*restraint (kids will push buttons) If you can't get away doing it to an adult (screaming/hitting) you certainly can't do it to a child.
*Friendly/loving

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luckymomof2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by constellation09 View Post
I would love to hear your opinions on what makes a good parent. I used to think that it was solely based on what you could provide to your child in terms of education, food, shelter, and the like. But now I realize there is also the emotional support factor.

I think my parents did a solid job with the first part. They are very good at giving me the things you can purchase with money that facilitate successful growth. Especially considering that they immigrated to America with broken English and very little money, they have more than exceeded my expectations as providers.

But there is hardly a day where I feel like I can connect with them properly. I don't think they are very good listeners. They say they will listen, but they do most of the talking. Slowly, I have learned to not say anything because my opinion will just be rejected anyway.

I am not a parent, but I would love to have kids in the future. Currently 22. Not rushing to find a significant other or anything like that. I just wish to gain some perspective on good supportive parenting since I have little example by which to follow. I am afraid of unintentionally harming my children if I cannot give them what they need emotionally.

What stories, ideas, or tips do you guys have on this topic?
Wow, you are already thinking about how to be a good parent - good for you! You have gotten some great tips already; humor is very important, and consistency is difficult sometimes when you have your own issues. You talk about emotions and communication with your parents ..... I was just reading about Childhood Emotional Neglect and it may be interesting to you. There is a website called EmotionalNeglect.com you should check out.
Happy New Year!
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