Parents in denial of reality

Hi everybody,
I'm not sure what would be my question here, but.. its something about my parents being addicted to DENIAL.
I am 32, my sister 36, and we live in this house with our aging parents, without having relationships (girlfriend / boyfriend). My parents reject every change in the house. When I had a girlfriend, I felt like the strangest person in the world. I felt like I emotionally betrayed my parents, like I've broken some emotional contract. Sounds like some deep codependency, enmeshment.
Now even if I am having plans to find a job in other country, I'm having these emotional issues of betrayal, I feel so emotionally blackmailed, like they are discarding me from their / our family circle. Our independence was always forbidden subject.
Now, what this has to do wit the denial. Well, only recently I've started to connect my feelings with reality and perceptions. I was taught to discard my feelings, that all my feelings were wrong and that I cannot trust them. Now when I am starting to reconnect to my feelings and my perceptions, to honor that, my family makes me crazy all the time.
Whenever I say that 2+2 equals 4, they create this fog of words, make problems where there is no, they avoid those kind of direct discussions, they can speak only about the weather or food or some irrelevant things just to manipulate again my perception and lead the discussion into confused direction.
My father is an Adult Child of Alcoholic, and I follow that sub-forum, but my mother went so much into.. I don't know how to call it... is it codependency? ..that she lost her connectedness with reality. She goes to church where are only 20 people 60+ with the same opinions, and she is more turned to death than to life.
"Denial of reality" I would call all of this.
I just can't detect what holds my sister and me so stuck in time. Time is passing and we are getting old (physically). But under our facial lines you could see that we are still 17-18 years old.

My question would be, is these such a thing called "Emotional Drug - Denial"?
If someone see an eyeopener in this text, please post your opinion.
PS: Sorry for my English.
Thanks

Hello cureav: Well, I'm no expert in this area, but it makes sense to me that since you & your sister are in your 30's & have lived with your parents all of your lives, they probably exert a huge amount of control over your lives. I don't know where you live, but the views of the society you live in may have an impact as well.

I'm assuming you & your sister probably don't have much in the way of supports outside of your parents' home that you could use to support you in your efforts to become independent. And then, of course, your parents have a vested interest in keeping you with them, since they're getting older. I think you & your sister will need to develop a step-by-step plan for gaining your independence. Trying to go from your present circumstances all the way to being out on your own in one giant leap is probably too much to manage.

Thank you The Skeezyks. Yes, I guess that that it is a huge step for us to gain out independence, but on some emotional level, I feel that our parents are constantly pulling our strings. Yesterday my mother asked me about my next step after this medical retraining that I am attending. In her voice I felt some creepy vibe, I felt hatred cause she knows my plans. She is unable to wish me a better life. The only thing she planed her kids for is to nurture her during her old age. It's like they've invested everything in us, every second of their free time, with a plan that we will give them back just the same. I could say that their financial control also have a big role. They have some savings, but they never planed to use it into our independence, but to make control over our future the way they want it.
That's why I have this creepy feeling that I must steal my independence from them.
Damn. When they were our age, they already had kids!?

Yes, it certainly sounds as though your parents are manipulating you in an effort to keep you with them, so you can take care of them. I got a certain amount of this when I was young as well. It can be difficult to deal with.