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Old 03-09-2015, 07:29 PM #1
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Default What to do?

My son (11) was kicked out of his after school program that's run by the local mental health center. He tried to intimidate a staff member by looking up 'how to kill someone you hate' online during computer time. I know that is not acceptable but that's why he's there! This is the first time the staff has ever had to deal with him in this manner. Before this happened they were raving about how great he was and what a good role model he is for the other kids. He did it to intimidate a staff member that wouldn't let him do something he wanted to do and to try to get kicked out of the program. Now that he's gotten what he wanted he's even worse to deal with at home and the therapist is only planning to see him every other week still! That isn't going to help, we've been through the 'every other week' sessions before and it always works out that they don't see the problem anymore! Anyone can pretend things are going great for 45 minutes every 14 days! What do I do? I've tried explaining this to them and no one is listening.
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Old 03-09-2015, 08:33 PM #2
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Default Re: What to do?

Wow Dusty!!! That's pretty scary for the staff but also tough on you. Have you made an appeal?? Perhaps sit down with the team at the after school program to see what they recommend you do? They must have some other options I would think being run by the local mental health center. Do they have a rule book stating certain types of behavior will result in termination? Could your son go and apologize? Have you talked with your son about the seriousness of his actions? He seems to have a lot on his mind. I agree, 45 minutes of therapy every 14 days is not enough for a child.
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Old 03-09-2015, 11:22 PM #3
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Default Re: What to do?

Today was the appeal. They don't have a set rulebook on what behaviors they will or won't 'deal' with; but while I agree this is scary for a staff member, this is one of the main reasons he was there. I guess I don't understand how it's not bad enough to warrant more intensive therapy it it's so bad they are concerned for staff :-/ I'm at my wits end with what to do. It's only getting worse now that they've given in to his desire to be out of the program. The worst part is my therapist hasn't been seeing patients so I'm stressing and ready to break. ;-(
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Old 03-10-2015, 08:44 PM #4
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Default Re: What to do?

(((Dusty))) I agree with you. His behavior does warrant more intensive therapy, and an after school program.

How did the teacher know he was trying to intimidate her/him and not researching the kill/hate site for someone else? Did your son tell the staff that's what he was doing or did they just assume it?

I don't understand how they can kick him out like that without warning, advanced notice, other options, discipline (no computer access). They've really left you and your child in a vulnerable position. My sister works with autistic children and they hit, kick, punch, bite her all day long and they get pardoned because they are mentally ill, They cannot be kicked out. It's considered psychological profiling or prejudice??? Something like that. You may want to ask his therapist and p-doc about your rights for his care provision. I don't see how your son is any different in regards to having mental illness and qualifying for special care.

Kids do that kind of crap in regular schools all the time!! I know, I come from a family full of teachers!

Keep appealing until they offer you another option, and if not start going up the chain of command. They would get sick of my face if it were me. I really feel for you and hope you can get some results, fast!!
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Old 03-11-2015, 04:58 PM #5
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Default Re: What to do?

I wish I knew what they were thinking! His next appointment isn't until march 23rd. From what I understand if the child is 'violent' from the start it's ok but not if the behavior is sudden in their eyes, even though that's why he was there. They just didn't see the intimidation til then. When he was questioned about why he looked that subject up he first answered to intimidate staff, but then he changed his answer to it was a school project, then an ad that popped up. He won't admit he did it now. I'm in no way scared of him but he needs help and I can't provide it, I feel like I'm failing him on top of everything else.
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Old 03-12-2015, 12:25 PM #6
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Default Re: What to do?

(((Dusty)))__________ Keep appealing. Sometimes you have to be the parent from HE*L to get what you need. Pave the way for others. Get a prescription from the T or P-doc or both telling them he needs the program!!! It sounds like a bunch of cow patties to me that they will keep up front violent children but will kick out a child who makes one mistake.
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Old 03-13-2015, 07:21 PM #7
Dustyharley2 Dustyharley2 is offline
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Default Re: What to do?

Thank you for the support! I'll keep after them
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