Getting a 20 yr old son to seek help? - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 03-11-2015, 11:38 AM #1
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Default Getting a 20 yr old son to seek help?

Any advice on getting my 20 year old son who will graduate college in Dec. to seek help. He suffers from depression and turns to alcohol. Will not accept responsibility for himself. He excels in college but regular life he is just falling. He rarely bathes or changes his clothing.

He binge drinks on weekends. His girlfriend of 2 1/2 years is ready to leave due to his drinking. He manipulates her as well as me.

He rarely comes out of his room at home.

He has seen 3 different therapists but refuses to go after 2 visits.
He is on lexapro but that is not helping He has gained almost 50 lbs and looks so bad.
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Old 03-11-2015, 03:54 PM #2
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Default Re: Getting a 20 yr old son to seek help?

hopeless85, Hello and welcome to PC.

It sounds like the alcohol has taken over. I am so sorry that you are hurting for him. He is most probably self medicating to feel better. It does sound like he needs an intervention. The problem is he is an adult and no one can make him help himself. It is such a shame as there are 12 step meetings available but that doesn't seem like a fix as he is refusing therapy. I am at a loss here. I hope someone else can offer you some hope. You might try browsing this forum.

The 12 Steps - Forums at Psych Central

If you need any help in navigating this site feel free to contact a community liaison or moderator. Hopefully others will have some suggestions. Take care.
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Old 03-11-2015, 05:50 PM #3
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Default Re: Getting a 20 yr old son to seek help?

Sounds like some form of intervention is necessary. Do you, yourself have a therapist that could help you navigate an intervention? I think most labels on medication mentions alcohol warnings Getting a 20 yr old son to seek help?


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Old 03-12-2015, 06:37 PM #4
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Default Re: Getting a 20 yr old son to seek help?

(((hopeless85))) Does he spend much time on the computer? Do you think he would come to Psych Central?
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Old 03-13-2015, 08:47 PM #5
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Default Re: Getting a 20 yr old son to seek help?

I don't think he would come to this site but maybe I could try. I am so exhausted. His girlfriend most likely broke up with him today and I don't blame her. He is in a bad state of mind. He has poor hygiene, doesn't want to do anything because he doesn't want to run into any one from our town. SO basically all weekend he makes her sit in his room watching tv. He also manipulates her till she breaks down and buys him booze. So today she said she wanted to go back to college because she didn't want to sit in the room all weekend. He through a bully fit like normal and she was crying. My daughter heard them fighting and called me. I called my son and told him to let her leave. I went home then to try to talk to him. He refuses to talk much. Locked me out of his room. Told me that he hates our house, everyone in the town, he hates college but wants to finish so he can at least get a job when he moves far away. He just cries at the mention of the family business. Tells me that ruined him and his life. I want him to see a psychiatrist because there is something wrong in his brain chemicals or something. He talks to no one at college just stays in his apartment alone. I don't know what happened because he was once a funny young man with so many friends.
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Old 03-17-2015, 04:18 PM #6
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Default Re: Getting a 20 yr old son to seek help?

I'm sorry for this situation. I'm assuming you are paying all his bills and college. I think you need to give him an ultimatum. He needs to get therapy and stick with it or he can't live in your home and you won't provide money. I know it's harsh and scary for both of you, but you aren't doing him any favors. He most likely is severely depressed, but it's a cycle that is nearly impossible to get out of without help. But you have to make it so he has to sink or swim. You probably should also seek therapy for yourself to get help for codependency. Good luck!
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Old 04-11-2015, 08:49 PM #7
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Heart Re: Getting a 20 yr old son to seek help?

Is it possible that he has a good friend he looks up to that he hasn't seen in awhile and some family members that he looks up to. A possible get together with coffee and discuss getting him help, at your home, hopefully he can be talked into getting help for his addiction and depression.
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