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gloamingone
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Default May 14, 2015 at 07:46 AM
  #1
So something weird happened late last night. My oldest son's biological father friended me. I haven't had contact with him since I was two weeks pregnant with my 17-year-old son.

He didn't believe I was pregnant, and shortly thereafter I graduated college and moved out of state. Despite attempts to find him over the years, I was unsuccessful. So he doesn't know he has a son.

I'm going to talk to my son today about it and ask him what he would like me to do. At 17, I believe this should be his decision. He's said several times in the past that he doesn't care if he meets this guy, because he loves his REAL father, my ex-husband.

It was so weird to see that name pop up. Haven't heard it in 18 years. Blows my mind.

Anyway, just wanted to share that with someone. Thanks!

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Default May 14, 2015 at 10:21 AM
  #2
He doesn't sound particularly pleasant, he left you high & dry when you told him you were pregnant.
Um, I'm suspious of people who pop up after years of no contact. Why would you do that? l always think there after something.

A old b/f has just emailed me, first time I've heard from him for 5 years. Tempting to email back cos hes incredibily handsome but l know reality is, hes a user, clearly feeling lonely and bored otherwise he would not have contacted me. I will not email back.

I can imagine your shock, after all that time. Wow. What to do next? Dunno, but tread careful, he could be disruptive. You are right to talk to your son, maybe hes curious about his bio father.

Glad your lad has a real dad he loves.
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ManOfConstantSorrow
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Default May 14, 2015 at 11:47 AM
  #3
Good opportunity to collect backlog of child support - should be a fair old sum what with compound interest.
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Thanks for this!
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Default May 14, 2015 at 01:05 PM
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Yes! Get whats owed to you! I have a lot of respect for single mums...
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gloamingone
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Default May 14, 2015 at 03:29 PM
  #5
Here's another really weird thing: he called my cell phone and left a message. How did he get that number??? I texted him back and said today was not a good time, as my mother is in the hospital for complications from open heart surgery (the truth).

It's possible that the child support department here found him. When I applied for state benefits I was required to give his name.

I'm kind of freaked out. My son said he wouldn't mind meeting him. Calling him back is going to be sooooo much fun. Not.

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Default May 17, 2015 at 04:21 PM
  #6
I would think considering the circumstances, I would get whatever communications with him in writing. It seem suspicious to me after all these years and for him to make contact with you after your son is almost 18.

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“Never, never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
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gloamingone
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Default May 17, 2015 at 05:49 PM
  #7
Well, another update. I called him, and he said the state's child support division contacted him. So he's going to take things up with them. He was VERY nice!

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