How to know I'll be a healthy parent

I'm recently married and have been thinking about having children lately. I have always said I would never because I would hate to pass on my genes and have a mentally ill child who suffers. What factors did you keep in mind when deciding whether or not to have a child? How do I know I'm not to sick to be a good parent? Is my child doomed to have a mental illness because of me?

a good parent is someone who will love their child unconditionally, give them self-esteem and confidence, and help their children to be kind to others as well as learning to be kind to yourself.

There isn't enough scientific evidence that we can pass mental illness on genetically, but I know my suffering has affected people around me, aswell as when I am calm and loving, this also affects people around me - but I know, if I had children now, I'd love them unconditionally, I would just have to work harder on staying well, to ensure I don't create suffering for my child.

Don't do what I have done and wait, or you might get to a point, like I have, where you chance to have children has gone.

No one can say if you will be a healthy parent. Most of my diagnosis came after I had my son. My husband was worried that he would not make a good dad as his father died when he was 3 and he never had another father-figure in his life. My husband is one of the best dads out there.

With love all things are possible, and it is wonderful when your child says "I love you mommy".

I didn't decide, well I guess I did decide to keep my kid, but I didn't plan to have a kid. I have some learning issues. I self-diagnosed myself with dyscalculia, which is a numeric form of dyslexia. My mom is dyslexic and also diagnosed herself. But she didn't tell me until I was an adult. My kid's dad has ADD and probably other mental issues as he is immature for his age and has rage issues (He's not violent towards us. Don't worry.) My daughter had developed a global developmental delay. I think she may be dyslexic, too. I've never been focused on trying to label her. I'm more focused on trying to find a solution and seeing what works for her to get ahead.
Parenting isn't about creating perfect kids. It does take more than just unconditional love. You have to be able to love yourself and take care of yourself first before you can love and take care of someone else. This goes for getting into relationships and I have given my kid that wisdom, too, which she is now in a relationship with herself.
No one is a perfect parent. Having a strong support system is essential if you have mental issues as falling into postpartum depression can happen right after labor and it's hard to notice until someone points it out. Before you get pregnant you should discuss with your doc about hormone changes and mood swings. Pregnancy can wreck havoc with even a strong minded gal. It's just something to take into consideration.
If you really want to be prepared you should start taking maternity vitamins now and start reading up on pregnancy and learn some excersizes. When you do get pregnant you should take part in a Lamaz class and cooking classes. The more knowledge and skills you gain now, the easier it will be. You should, also, talk about getting pregnant with some close friends and family so they won't be caught off guard and that way you will know who will be there for you.
I don't think there is a perfect child out there who couldn't be diagnosed with something. It's all about how the parent teaches their kids to cope and the support systems that are in place.
I fell into PPD after I had my kid and I didn't know. I just wanted to sleep. The night wakings and the amount of nursing I had to do over-whelmed me. But I got through it and older my kid got the easier it's become. She's a teen now and I've come to notice how wise beyond her years she is and how compassionate she is. Much of her personality is all her. I did teach her how to be nice and caring, but she is tolerant and accepting. She has way more friends than I ever had growing up. She does get bullied but not the extent that I endured and she has not coped with that like I did where I would try to act like how my bullies acted. She is so confident and has so much self-esteem. She has had some concerns with herself but she resiliently pushed through it. Perhaps I've helped her more than I realize.
I think your psyching yourself out.

I "mistakingly" became pregnant after 11 yrs of marriage, but she's no mistake. That I wouldn't change. But we were thrown into parenthood after we decided we weren't going to have any (bad math skills).

I think that a parent that has MH issues is more aware of what to look for in their child so that is a plus!! I'm more sensitive to their feelings. Like my 10yo got off the bus crying bec she had a fight w/ a friend. It really moved me to sit w/her & talk it out w/her just knowing that if she keeps it bottled up like I did she'll turn that anger inward.
Although dealing w/my own MH issues has been very hard when my kids r around. They notice a lot & how my mood changes & I worry about it. Sometimes I have to lock myself in the bathroom & insist I pull myself together for their sake.
I can only say I'm trying my best. And my best is not a Norman Rockwell painting. It's giving them what they need, forgiving myself for not being that "perfect" mom.
No one is perfect. Kids aren't either.

I remember the very first time I held ea of my children. Kissing them, saying hello, telling them I'm their mom & that I'm going to make mistakes w/them, but I'll try my best. I promised.