[cherryberry]

She made six cupcakes and everyone was supposed to have two. My nephew asked for one o, so I said he could have one, forgetting there were six. and when I came to get the ONE that was left for me, the frosting was sloppy. My stepdaughter CLAIMS she and my SO ate theirs already by the time my nephew asked, that they didn't pay any attention to the frosting and some of the other cupcakes were sloppy. Yeah, sure. A sloppy cupcake. This is how they think of me. Glad to know.
It's not about the cupcake, but about the disregard she shows me after all I've done for her.

[~Christina]

Sloppy cupcake isn't the end of the world of course.

How long has she been your step daughter? Only ask because your having trouble with you're daughter now step daughter too.

Just out of curiosity how old are you ?

[cherryberry]

Shes been my stepdaughter almost half a year.
It's the lack of consideration!!!

[~Christina]

What other than a cupcake is the issue ?

[Trippin2.0]

You know if the consistency on your cupcake was sloppy, I'm pretty sure the rest of the topping was too.

Its insanely hard to make a perfect and imperfect batch of topping in one bowl.

Your 0-60 magical thinking needs some addressing though hey? You've got some creative arithmetic going on eg. Sloppy cupcakes = Step Daughter doesn't care about me.

Hope you don't take this the wrong way, but it reminds me of a very childlike response...

Me "Jordan you have to come inside now, play time is over"

Jordan "I don't want to, you're ruining my life because now I have to come in before everyone else!"

Might be something you want to look at, especially if you fear these daughters are lacking respect for you, they might have simply emotionally outgrown you.

[paparazi257]

Up to now, the relationship between stepmother and stepdaughter is complicated. However, with true love, I think they will understand you and be good to you

[Patagonia]

It's quite a line to be drawn from a cupcake to someone not caring. Did it just hurt your feelings that day or are there other instances.

My parent motto: Pick your Wars.

I feel, a GREAT deal of the time that my kids don't care about me. And it's true. They're young, they have tunnel vision & don't have the brain capacity for this. Their main brain function is focused on the amygdala not the frontal cortex.
So for me, I have to stand back & not just judge my child according to the nasty things they sometimes say & do, but what their brain capacity is for them as a human.
Goes back to basic psych.

So was there something else?

[healingme4me]

Sometimes kids have a selfish, in the moment, mentality. Of course she thought of the perfect frosting for herself, first and foremost. And then of course, pleasing everyone else in pecking order down the cupcake line. Plus, even adults, make frosting errors. Was she using a frosting bag for a more professional look or just using a knife to spread it on? Was it warm inside? She didn't leave frosted cupcakes sitting on the oven as it cooled down, did she?

[cherryberry]

She was using a knife. She just did a sloppy job, either on one of the cupcakes or all of them. Just lazy and trifling. I can't wait till this visit is over so she can be out of here. I'm tired of her very presence. It's sad because my SO and I no longer live together due to arguments between us, but he and his daughter came to visit. I'm so tired of her that I don't even want my SO here anymore. Why can't she just make enough money already so she can be out? It cant happen too soon. A woman needs her own domain.

[healingme4me]

Well, the fact that she only made 6, is indeed curious. I take it, she is not some young child?
It's hard enough when there is stress in the relationship, then add to it, whatever it is the immediate family is going through.

[cherryberry]

She's 21. They were supposed to be for her, myself and my SO only, as my daughter is on a diet. But my nephew asked for one.

[healingme4me]

It was just curious to me that she'd go through all that work to adjust recipes, etc., for a half batch, and botch the entire baking experience. No follow through. Even the frosting amounts need to be adjusted.

[cherryberry]

It was just some stupid.leftover Duncan Hines batter. There was no work involved.

[~Christina]

So you baked something using half the batter ?

[cherryberry]

No! SHE did!!!

[~Christina]

Maybe you could have baked some cupcakes for anyone wanting one ? Why waste the batter ?

[healingme4me]

I'm of the perception that this is probably less about you, than her. What else did she eat or didn't eat that cupcakes couldn't be handed out at the same time? See what I'm trying to say?

There's leftover batter and frosting. I'm thinking that it's her and not you, that's all.

I bake a lot at home and I also work in kitchens, professionally. Work smart not hard type of mentality.

[Patagonia]

Is this really about cupcakes?

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by cherryberry

She was using a knife. She just did a sloppy job, either on one of the cupcakes or all of them. Just lazy and trifling. I can't wait till this visit is over so she can be out of here. I'm tired of her very presence. It's sad because my SO and I no longer live together due to arguments between us, but he and his daughter came to visit. I'm so tired of her that I don't even want my SO here anymore. Why can't she just make enough money already so she can be out? It cant happen too soon. A woman needs her own domain.

I don't think it's fair of you to demand she makes enough money and has her own domain. You don't make enough to be on your own, you depend on SO for money and you live at your mothers. You want something from a 21- year-old that you didn't accomplish yourself yet you are much older than 21.

I feel there is more to all this. It can't be about cupcake

So if I read correctly your stepdaughter was kind enough to bake you something and you complain it wasn't pretty enough. Can't you just be thankful she made you a treat?