Children must get to know cold and hunger? - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 01-15-2018, 07:15 AM #1
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Default Children must get to know cold and hunger?

Is this healthy parenting?

I came today across one book titled "Hungry People Better Results" and remembered the type of parenting my parents taught from theirs, that a human can't appreciate a warm house and good meal if he hasn't experienced cold and hunger.
I don't mean here going out of your house for a few seconds on cold or skipping one meal... I'm thinking feeling guilty for living under parents roof and eating their food, feeling like a parasite, in order to get their message to move out and find a way to earn the living.

Do you find this type of parenting one of the options?
Cause now I can't relaxed eat in front of anyone cause the guilt is inseparable. And I have constant urge to act it out and make everyone feel guilty for the things I give them. It's exhaustive and isolating.
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Old 01-15-2018, 07:23 AM #2
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Default Re: Children must get to know cold and hunger?

No, I donít think that is healthy parenting.

I raised three kids. We didnít worry about where our next meal was coming from. There was food for every meal time.

We did thank God at times for providing us with food...like to say Grace.

But Depression Era deprivation techniques sounds extreme and unhealthy!

My kids have now grown up, gotten education, gotten jobs, are good contributing citizens.
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Old 01-15-2018, 07:29 AM #3
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Default Re: Children must get to know cold and hunger?

Are you having issues getting your grown children to move out?
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Old 01-15-2018, 07:39 AM #4
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Default Re: Children must get to know cold and hunger?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Are you having issues getting your grown children to move out?
No, I don't have kids, I'm only 2,5 years out of my parents house and can't resolve some of these issues and my anger. I told my parents that that were a 70 year old parenting techniques. But still I can't resolve this guilt cause it was so covertly messaged.
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Old 01-15-2018, 07:49 AM #5
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Default Re: Children must get to know cold and hunger?

Your parents did this to you before you moved out?
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Old 01-15-2018, 07:59 AM #6
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Default Re: Children must get to know cold and hunger?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Your parents did this to you before you moved out?
Yes, some type of their campaign.
I'm still in a search, why people have kids at all, the reasons, motives...
But also, wanted to hear opinions on this situation. If you as a parent would wanted your kids out on their own, how would you do that, or how would it be appropriately.
Thanks
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Old 01-15-2018, 01:41 PM #7
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Default Re: Children must get to know cold and hunger?

I'm pretty sure that 'willfully' depriving a minor child food and shelter is considered child abuse.

There's other ways to help children learn attitudes of gratitude. Showing them homeless camps or volunteering at soup kitchens comes to mind.
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Old 01-15-2018, 02:41 PM #8
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Default Re: Children must get to know cold and hunger?

A good book you might want to look up is called Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life. I found it helped me a lot.
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