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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,182
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Jan 16, 2018 at 10:14 PM
#21
I guess I’m emotional because I have MI.
I’m trying to act like a nice and supportive wife and mother. Even if I can’t feel how I should. He is a part of another family now. I feel the bad, pushed out vibe. There’s really nothing more for me to be involved with anyway. She has this big, close knit family living all together. She says they are a clan. They totally involved my son. He went off and never looked back. IDK if we’ll ever have much interaction. I might not enjoy their children, if they have. I have no expectations. What a bummer. I’ll always have the memories of raising my son. It was __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,182
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9 1,869 hugs
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Jan 16, 2018 at 10:24 PM
#22
If only they had acted the way I think people are supposed to act. This is my biggest trigger! This must be the MI talking!
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
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Jan 16, 2018 at 11:15 PM
#23
If ever you find a place where people act the way they are supposed to act, I'ld like to move to that planet.
These love birds will have their ups and downs, just like everybody else. Her family sees fault in your son. They're just too smart to show they notice. They are out to make their little girl happy. So you already don't like the grandkids. Pardon me, Tisha, but you are going out of your way to be negative. Maybe you need to do that for awhile. Hurts heal, if we don't keep picking at them. You deserve to heal. But you have to allow it. |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,182
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9 1,869 hugs
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Jan 17, 2018 at 06:25 AM
#24
Quote:
I didn’t say I don’t like possible future grandchildren. Why are you putting words in my mouth? I said I may not have much involvement with him and his family at all, and I accept that. If his wife doesn’t like his family, and there’s a rift, that will be true. I don’t want to have that kind of stress in my life. Even though I have an emotional disorder, I’m listening to my emotions and to my intuition. I grew up trusting my instincts before learning about MI, and I am still going to. Don’t I have a right to be hurt at my son’s impertinence and lack of trust and faith in his parents? This is all an especially sore subject because my family has a running theme of parents who stabbed their children in the back. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,182
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9 1,869 hugs
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Jan 17, 2018 at 07:33 AM
#25
That’s the crux of the hurt. I was the best parent to him. I didn’t do any of the harmful things to him that my mother did to me. Yet, still, he didn’t trust me and twisted my words and alienated us as parents.
I always let him do what he wanted. Plus, it’s obvious his gf is bullying him. I’m not sure about her family’s feelings about him. I’m finding it hard to believe they truly support the marriage. They tell him he is family and took him in, but I feel it is as long as he becomes one of their ‘clan’, which means coming over to their ways of being. (I can’t discuss religious differences here) He seems to be having a good time. But he said he is feeling much stress. So, I’m not sure how happy he is. Maybe he’s gone and gotten himself stuck. Does he even know who he is at this age? __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,427
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13 5,337 hugs
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Jan 17, 2018 at 07:36 AM
#26
If your son acted offensively toward you, then I suppose you would be disappointed and hurt.
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 TishaBuv
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Jan 17, 2018 at 07:38 AM
#27
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In a perfect world people would behave exactly how you would want them to, but it is not a perfect world. That desire to control things to such a degree, is not at all healthy. |
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TishaBuv
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,182
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,869 hugs
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Jan 17, 2018 at 08:02 AM
#28
Yes, I will step back and just be kind. I’m not even sure I want to be supportive.
Yes, I have problems with control and expectations. That’ll mess you up every time! __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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 Anonymous57777, Purple,Violet,Blue, Rose76
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Mar 29, 2018 at 04:34 PM
#29
Whatever you do don't get between him and the girlfriend.
Did I miss how old the boy is? Both of my now adult children left home early (17) to pursue their studies. By the time they were in their early 20s they had careers, nice homes, and lives of their own. I didn't seem to fit in anywhere and it was agonising. In my daughter's case she saw and moved in with an awful man. I made the mistake of saying something which I am sure resulted in her clinging to him and staying far longer than she might otherwise have. In my son's case he worked round the clock diligently pursuing his beloved career. Well, time has gone by. Fast forward five long years. We three are pretty tight now. |
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TishaBuv
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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