advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
badwolf76
Member
 
badwolf76's Avatar
badwolf76 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 29
10 yr Member
15 hugs
given
Default Oct 15, 2018 at 09:46 AM
  #1
I have the most fantastic partner. My daughter is wonderful and my step son is like a vampire. I love him, but I am fed up with him.

My step son in his 20s. Has a sense of entitlement, a lack of consideration, he takes advantage of his mother and he is irresponsible. On top of that he is dishonest and was caught stealing from me.

However, he is kind and creative. But, I sometimes wonder if the kindness is partly manipulation.

My beef is with his lack of responsibility. He does what he wants and gets what he wants when he wants. He doesn't need to earn anything. He just gets.

I was not raised that way and I'm not raising my child that way. I find it very difficult to accept this type of behaviour. However, as far as I'm concerned it's not my place to say anything to him about it. This is the only thing that my partner and I argue about and it I don't think it's fair. A part of me gets frustrated with my partner for letting him take advantage of her. But, a bigger part of me is fed up with her son's behaviour in general. When I try to discuss this with my partner she gets very defensive with a how dare you themed response. She makes me feel horrible. She always comes around. But, I feel like I'm the only one holding up my end. Each argument ends with an apparent compromise. I say apparent, maybe I should say alleged because I am the only one that commits. I commit until I get to this point which is why I'm fed up. This is consuming me and it leaves me just wanting to be alone. That fills me with guilt because I feel like it's robbing time that I should be spending with my 12 year old daughter.

In closing, I need to say that I love my partner very much and I know she loves me the same way. She has seen and helped me at my worst and it has not scared her away. That's how I know it's true love. I am willing to do whatever it takes to stay together. My daughter loves my partner. She gives her a hug and kiss goodnight every night before bed. They say I love you to each other every night as well. My partner is absolutely not trying to replace her mother. However, my daughter lives with us full time and I'm convinced that she loves her like a mother already.

If you stuck through all of that squirrelly writing I thank you very much. It's something I just needed to get off my chest. I welcome opinions. I'm hoping to hear from fellow step parents that have gone through the same and how they worked it out. I see a lot of negative stories about being a step parent. But, I'm looking for positive advice. I've read so much about people saying get out while you can. But, I'm not throwing away something so special. No relationship is easy and I'm not afraid of the effort required to maintain a healthy relationship.

- B

__________________
Major Depression, ADHD, Anxiety

Wellbutrin: 450mgs
Ritalin: 60mgs

“Some people will only love you as long as you fit in their box. Don’t be afraid to disappoint.”

- Lecrae

"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

- Woody Allen
badwolf76 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Travelinglady

advertisement
technigal
Grand Poohbah
 
technigal's Avatar
technigal has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,625
10 yr Member
829 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 17, 2018 at 03:06 PM
  #2
I was the daughter in that same situation. My step-brother was horrible and got away with everything. I came to resent my step-mother for all he got away with. If I ever said anything I was trying to break up the family. My dad and step-mother apologised years later but it was too late. I now hate my step-mother and waiting for the day she dies (she is almost 89).

I really hope things work out better in your situation.

__________________
Mags

Depression diagnosed March 1996
PTSD diagnosed January 2000
BPD diagnosed September 2013
technigal is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Travelinglady
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady is feeling tired.
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 47,787 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
22.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 20, 2018 at 09:39 PM
  #3
I've not been in such a situation, but I understand step children can be a touchy issue, and it's risky for you to say too much. How unfortunate he is allowed to be a vampire. Could your partner feel guilty for a divorce, thinking she's ruined his childhood or something?
Travelinglady is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:47 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.