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Default Jul 16, 2018 at 02:32 PM
  #1
Until this place. You still can they said. It's just period pains. Don't sweat it, with the people you saw day in day out I fully understand that you thought I was catastrophising. But you did phone the doctor and said a depository was permitted. Thankfully that did the trick. An embarrassing toilet issue was not a huge price to pay. I wasn't that unwell that I would let my bowels burst to prove a point. I would never have dreamed of that.
You did phone a doctor. I forgot the finer details. I was just humiliated that the janitor/porter/cleaner who had to unblock the toilet made a spectacle out of it and took every cleaner available to view this morbid scene.
I guess my pride will heal over but a ruptured organ may have been a lot worse for long term recovery In retrospect.
I didn't think that depression would wreak havoc on my digestive system and organs. But it did. I was running on adrenaline for so long I was grabbing food on the run.
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Default Jul 16, 2018 at 03:32 PM
  #2
Make lemonade. Pfft yeah if you can. It's food sensitivity I have. Your mentally handi capped son can get married yet you shoot me down for being positive? You of all people should know that people recover. Why would you continue in your field of work if you were that sceptical? I got the feeling that you asking me to go through the vast DVD collection was you insinuating that I had nothing but time to waste. Why didn't you just send me to the gallows?
And why were you determined to get me to admit I had a food intolerance when I was asking about something completely different entirely? Its just food sensitivity. And I saw a gastroenterologist and they concluded I did not have anything wrong with my physical make up.
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Default Jul 17, 2018 at 10:06 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Balthascar810 View Post
Until this place. You still can they said. It's just period pains. Don't sweat it, with the people you saw day in day out I fully understand that you thought I was catastrophising. But you did phone the doctor and said a depository was permitted. Thankfully that did the trick. An embarrassing toilet issue was not a huge price to pay. I wasn't that unwell that I would let my bowels burst to prove a point. I would never have dreamed of that.
You did phone a doctor. I forgot the finer details. I was just humiliated that the janitor/porter/cleaner who had to unblock the toilet made a spectacle out of it and took every cleaner available to view this morbid scene.
I guess my pride will heal over but a ruptured organ may have been a lot worse for long term recovery In retrospect.
I didn't think that depression would wreak havoc on my digestive system and organs. But it did. I was running on adrenaline for so long I was grabbing food on the run.
Correction: suppository
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Default Jul 18, 2018 at 10:17 AM
  #4
I am arrogant said the nurses. Its hardly any wonder they have a reputation for not having any idea what they are doing. I asked if they could open my window as it was peak of summer and I complained that the conditions were not right and I over heard another nurse saying to just ignore me, as I must definitely be shizophrenic (to question their authority) so I was probably just paranoid I was going to suffocate or something. They could have waited until I was out of ear shot or not made a joke out of flagrant prejudice. My life was in tatters and my nerves were frayed. After seeing the mess my father was I vowed I wouldn't grow up to be passive as he was. I do have a naturally fiery personality. To confuse it as a schizophrenic turn and make a joke of the patients is arrogance on the nurses part. What I said was actually valid. Most patients often need advocacy, relatives, solicitors to speak on their behalf. When I was un-well I could have used an advocate to point out my rights as a patient.
But I did not trust the system. I felt like there was nobody in my corner during my second breakdown.
And the nurses do not diagnose illnesses or conditions. One couldnt even pronounce the name of my contraceptive pill that I use to lighten my periods! There is not many variations of pills. But she was a psychiatric nurse in her defence.
It is pot luck if a nurse takes you seriously. I set out an agreement with my then psychiatrist and the nurse who took it said oh your mum wrote this did she, must have been your mum. I wasn't the only one. I had a friend who had been in hospital a few times. It took years before one doctor pointed out to staff that she was an intelligent lady who had a brilliant career as a chemist as well as family in friends. That she deserved more respect than they appeared to be giving.
The doctors always commented on how immaculate and smart I looked and that I was in fact very bright. Yet one nurse made a comment about "you people on disability.. are all the same" I wasn't on disability!
But one nurse asked If I would go back to an old work place I was at before. And another when giving my meds stressed here's your one tablet. Knowing how much I disliked needing medication. And another who noticed how my friends had evaporated told me what the recovery process would be like. Not everything would come at once. How things would change. Once I got one thing under my belt then more would come back. She had a good way of describing it.
So why are some so out of touch yet others are so wise? ?
Some of the nurses are genuine but their compassion is eclipsed by the stronger and more dominant personalities. I don't get why making a joke out of your profession is required to rise in the ranks.

Last edited by Anonymous32895; Jul 18, 2018 at 10:42 AM..
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Blush Jul 18, 2018 at 03:16 PM
  #5
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Originally Posted by Balthascar810 View Post
Make lemonade. Pfft yeah if you can. It's food sensitivity I have. Your mentally handi capped son can get married yet you shoot me down for being positive? You of all people should know that people recover. Why would you continue in your field of work if you were that sceptical? I got the feeling that you asking me to go through the vast DVD collection was you insinuating that I had nothing but time to waste. Why didn't you just send me to the gallows?
And why were you determined to get me to admit I had a food intolerance when I was asking about something completely different entirely? Its just food sensitivity. And I saw a gastroenterologist and they concluded I did not have anything wrong with my physical make up.
I did think that dairy could be the culprit of the stomach problems that were flaring up. I only said alcohol because the root of my childhood angst centred on my parents and their pyramid of beer crates while claiming we were broke as sin. And the disclaimer on my tablets said not to drink(or drive) if they caused drowsiness.
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Default Jul 19, 2018 at 04:34 AM
  #6
Thanks for not turfing my butt out straight away and keeping me going. I am unbelievably grateful for the help.
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Default Jul 19, 2018 at 05:38 AM
  #7
So sorry you're having a bad time. Wish there were something I could do to help.
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Default Jul 28, 2018 at 10:32 AM
  #8
I've read all your posts and I am very sad you've been this depressed. It's a funny thing whenever I use this forum and I see a person seriously disturbed I want to help them. But I cannot help myself. For this very reason; I wanted to be a doctor and change opinion of my patients about the whole healthcare system. A single doctor can do that. I believe it, I may be a fool but I am not necessarily wrong every time about everything. But I fail to even comprehend the mathematical questions (physics and chemistry are compulsory in the syllabus of the medical entrance exam) let alone solve them. I am not smart enough to be a doctor. I am just a manque.


Again I am very sorry you went through this. I wish I could somehow offer more than just words.
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Default Aug 03, 2018 at 08:32 AM
  #9
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Originally Posted by Balthascar810 View Post
I did think that dairy could be the culprit of the stomach problems that were flaring up. I only said alcohol because the root of my childhood angst centred on my parents and their pyramid of beer crates while claiming we were broke as sin. And the disclaimer on my tablets said not to drink(or drive) if they caused drowsiness.
I am terrible for missing my own intentions sometimes. And saying alcohol was me being an a^s like my real father. Sometimes I couldnt be bothered getting drunk when it was the same faces out on town.
To be honest alcohol felt like the reason my whole life had gone to the dogs. My parents drinking messed up my childhood. My gran was an alcoholic and everyone knew.
I think I just threw it in to see if I got reaction. I REALLY was supposed to be careful. But my doctor never enforced that I had to watch my in take. They never advised me not to drive.
And Stephen King was adamant I would be out of hospital and told me you WILL get out of here and get on with your life.
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Default Aug 03, 2018 at 11:05 AM
  #10
Deep psychological problems. Kids in glass house. He was a creep. Me and my pal get the heeby jeebies just by the sight of him. He was eating tea with headphones on and started muttering to himself about his mother and Gary glitter. Said my effing mother and swung his chair back on both legs.
A pregnant patient stopped the chair before he fell back on the linoleum. At spoons he said, you shouldn't waste yourself washing dishes. On remembrance day I couldnt persuade my pal to go the long way. I felt so disrespectful going through a crowd. Don't make a spectacle of yourselves ladies. The high street was not blocked off. We did nothing wrong. When I spoke about Justin beibers biggest fan, my pal said get the violins out. I see why she would make light of it. But I think that some people couldn't be nurses even if they have the intelligence and patience and the will. Because you have to accept that many people are in fact not able to be "fixed" or be themselves again.

Last edited by Anonymous32895; Aug 03, 2018 at 11:29 AM..
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Default Aug 05, 2018 at 04:05 PM
  #11
Why should I have expected to be treated as an exception? I was ill and needed to be in hospital. That didint prevent me feeling so dehumanized. I was an utter mess. My body and my mind, my heart and my soul. I hated who I was. How could I pull through this again.
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