How do you reduce spending? - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-28-2016, 11:36 PM #1
Strive4health's Avatar
Strive4health Strive4health is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: Under the milky way tonight...
Posts: 261
Strive4health Strive4health is offline
Member
Strive4health's Avatar
Strive4health has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: Under the milky way tonight...
Posts: 261

5 yr Member
5 hugs
given
Default How do you reduce spending?

I normally think of myself as a low spend person, but certainly not very frugal. I'm not a spendthrift either, as I like to get a lot of my items on clearance, online consignment, or from ebay where it's super cheap.

Unfortunately...recently my husband gave me a "talking to" about reducing my discretionary spending. He said we weren't broke, but we're not rich either and we need to be more mindful of where we put our money. I get that, and I agree with it.

The thing is, I know I need to reduce my spending but I always find some way to justify it. For instance, I lost 30 pounds and a lot of my clothes stopped fitting me...they looked very baggy and unsightly, and some were so big they'd look unprofessional at the workplace. I sold them to an online cosignment, or have donated some and we'll get a tax write-off. If it's not that, then I justify it by saying I'm updating my wardrobe because I'm over 30 and a lot of the items in my closet wouldn't be appropriate for me to keep wearing anymore. Whatever it is, I always seem to find a way to justify it by saying "I'm buying it cheap."

It's still a problem because I am still spending money. I took some time to think about why I'm doing it, and I think it's because I'm trying to fulfill an emotional need. I don't have a lot of friends, I don't have any female friends who I could hang out and spend time with. My life is basically going to school, taking care of errands, looking for a new job, spending time with my husband, and health care.

Does anyone else ever have this problem? What did you do to catch yourself when you were out at a store and thought "oh, that would be so nice to have"? I've thought of asking myself, do I NEED it or do I just want to get it on impulse? Asking myself that question doesn't always work because I always find a way to use whatever I'm buying lol. It's kind of pathetic, and I need some pointers.
Strive4health is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 05-29-2016, 05:50 AM #2
ManOfConstantSorrow ManOfConstantSorrow is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,954
ManOfConstantSorrow ManOfConstantSorrow is offline
Grand Poohbah
ManOfConstantSorrow has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,954

3 yr Member
4 hugs
given
Default Re: How do you reduce spending?

Do you keep a record of your spending - my wife does (she is a bit like you) and the record helps her control her expenditure.
ManOfConstantSorrow is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-29-2016, 11:35 AM #3
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina ~Christina is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 15,082
~Christina ~Christina is offline
Legendary
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 15,082 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
5,290 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How do you reduce spending?

Maybe preload a Visa or Mastercard each month with X amount of money that you and your husband can agree on and once that's used up the shopping will have to stop until the next month.
__________________
~Christina
~Christina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-29-2016, 04:45 PM #4
ThisWayOut's Avatar
ThisWayOut ThisWayOut is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: in my own little world
Posts: 4,227
ThisWayOut ThisWayOut is offline
Grand Magnate
ThisWayOut's Avatar
ThisWayOut has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: in my own little world
Posts: 4,227

5 yr Member
6,514 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How do you reduce spending?

I have similar issues with spending. I've managed to cut down on spending on many items by wandering around for a while either with them in my hand, or before I pick them up. If I can manage to forget about it during my wandering, or if I manage to talk myself out of it during my wandering, then I leave without it. It works for a bunch of stuff. It manages to pull the impulse out of the purchase. My problem is, it doesn't work all of the time. The cash card sounds like a good idea. I might try that...

I think understanding that I was spending to fill a void helped with being able to walk around and counteract the impulse spending. I keep reminding myself it doesn't actually make me feel better in the long run. It actually makes me feel worse when we have no vacation money and no savings of any kind.
ThisWayOut is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-30-2016, 12:01 AM #5
Strive4health's Avatar
Strive4health Strive4health is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: Under the milky way tonight...
Posts: 261
Strive4health Strive4health is offline
Member
Strive4health's Avatar
Strive4health has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: Under the milky way tonight...
Posts: 261

5 yr Member
5 hugs
given
Default Re: How do you reduce spending?

The cash card won't be a viable option as my husband thinks those encourage more spending because you can always put more money into it, without seeing how the money's involved with other bills. I do keep track of my spending, and my husband found out it's not as frequent as he thought, but we'd still like for me to reduce it.

I think I have a similar problem as you, ThisWayOut. If I go to the mall, I'm more than likely to wander around and find something to purchase. If I avoid going to the mall, my purchases are going to be a lot less. In the past I was good as convincing myself not to go, because of all the people, driving through traffic, etc. Now it's nicer and I want to get out and do whatever I can.
Strive4health is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-30-2016, 05:31 AM #6
Finniky's Avatar
Finniky Finniky is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pillow Fort
Posts: 190
Finniky Finniky is offline
Member
Finniky's Avatar
Finniky has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pillow Fort
Posts: 190

3 yr Member
35 hugs
given
Default Re: How do you reduce spending?

To be honest, I just can't get into keeping track of what I spend right now. But I'm a young adult with a more basic financial system due to having few assets. I mean me and my fiance have our own place, but we easily save up money each month without trying.

What changed my spending was pretty simple. When I saw something I liked, I would think of reasons I didn't need it. Not reasons I did. This would usually trump whatever lingering ideas I had in my head about wanting/needing the item and I would just look at it longingly and put it back. Eventually I was able to think of the reason's I didn't need the item, and be able to put it back without feeling any sadness lol. My fiance sometimes has to sit and wait for me as I clutch some lovely thing at the mall and tally up the reasons I don't need it before I set it back down.
__________________
No ones reality is ever alike.
Finniky is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-30-2016, 09:53 AM #7
Perna's Avatar
Perna Perna is offline
Pandita-in-training
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
Perna Perna is offline
Pandita-in-training
Perna's Avatar
Perna has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289 (SuperPoster!)

10 yr Member
560 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How do you reduce spending?

Hi, Strive4health. I'm having some of the same clothes-buying problems you are. I'm a new widow and only have 2/3rds of the income we use to and all the money is back to being wholly in my hands. I'm feeling sorry for my husband, understand better the position he was in asking me not so spend so much!

I'm having success with a one-month moratorium on spending. Last month I had to use my savings to bail out my credit card and I don't have enough savings to do that again! I was only able to partially bail so I had money on my credit card starting this months instead of a clean slate. Talk with your husband and set yourself a limit and practice sticking with it?

I wish I had worked harder to do that while my husband was living; I have to learn it now whether I want to or not and it's much less forgiving/friendly all by myself :-( What I'm doing on the clothes front is working harder on not caring what I think others think/see but on doing the best with what I have and not doing the "oh, just one more top/pair of pants/sweater, etc.," at least for this month!.

Get caught up for a month or two being "good" and then give yourself a small reward? Make a list of what you would like instead of just buying it? Investigate costs of the seamstress at the cleaner taking in the pants or other clothes you have? Don't buy new, give yourself $20 cash from your personal budget every month and go to Goodwill/other thrift places for an item or three? I was giving myself $100 cash a month but I noticed I wasn't spending it that fast so am experimenting with only $60 cash.

If you have a few things you are responsible for buying, "areas" of money you spend, experiment with one less book, cheaper dishwasher soap :-) (I had an epiphany on Cascade's 6x, 8x, 10x soap, which should I buy? and realized they all have to work, who cares if I have to rinse the dishes first, I do that anyway? So buy the cheap -- they aren't going to sell it if it doesn't sell/work) but make things a game; can you budget/predict how much your grocery bill will be and get it down $10? If you and your husband give yourself a budget, get below and you can have that extra?
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
Perna is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 06-01-2016, 11:03 PM #8
Strive4health's Avatar
Strive4health Strive4health is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: Under the milky way tonight...
Posts: 261
Strive4health Strive4health is offline
Member
Strive4health's Avatar
Strive4health has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: Under the milky way tonight...
Posts: 261

5 yr Member
5 hugs
given
Default Re: How do you reduce spending?

I think I will have to go for a longer moratorium-- like a quarter long? There's a lot of family stuff going on this summer that requires me to buy new clothes for events. My husband thinks it's okay for me to make those purchases, but I have been asking myself "gosh, do I need another green top?" Haha.

What helped me put it into perspective lately was re-evaluating my wardrobe. I took out all of the items I no longer wear or don't like, and estimated the dollar amount. I couldn't believe what it was...:/ What I might do to recoup a little bit of the cost is sell it to consignment and then save that money. I want to avoid rewarding myself with more clothes if I make it through a moratorium.
Strive4health is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 06-08-2016, 02:18 PM #9
Shaly78's Avatar
Shaly78 Shaly78 is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Jul 2015
Location: philadelphia
Posts: 675
Shaly78 Shaly78 is offline
Account Suspended
Shaly78's Avatar
Shaly78 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2015
Location: philadelphia
Posts: 675

3 yr Member
22 hugs
given
Default Re: How do you reduce spending?

Is he cheap for a reason? Life experiences, a common goal mortgage payoff etc anything? Is he looking to be controlling? Well, if you love him, you picked him so better do what he says. Keep secrets and spend at certain time money and prove your cut backs if you got caught ever at all lol. That seemed like a viable reason weight lost. Most times I controlled all the money and bank accounts so I don't really have experiences with a man controlling money, in most cases. I have never or know anyone that spent impulsely as the norm. Well you are going to argue for something sounds like it really healthy.
Shaly78 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 06-09-2016, 05:41 AM #10
ECHOES's Avatar
ECHOES ECHOES is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Aug 2007
Location: West of Tampa Bay, East of the Gulf of Mexico
Posts: 14,344
ECHOES ECHOES is offline
Legendary
ECHOES's Avatar
ECHOES has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2007
Location: West of Tampa Bay, East of the Gulf of Mexico
Posts: 14,344 (SuperPoster!)

10 yr Member
1,052 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How do you reduce spending?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Strive4health View Post
I normally think of myself as a low spend person, but certainly not very frugal. I'm not a spendthrift either, as I like to get a lot of my items on clearance, online consignment, or from ebay where it's super cheap.

Unfortunately...recently my husband gave me a "talking to" about reducing my discretionary spending. He said we weren't broke, but we're not rich either and we need to be more mindful of where we put our money. I get that, and I agree with it.

The thing is, I know I need to reduce my spending but I always find some way to justify it. For instance, I lost 30 pounds and a lot of my clothes stopped fitting me...they looked very baggy and unsightly, and some were so big they'd look unprofessional at the workplace. I sold them to an online cosignment, or have donated some and we'll get a tax write-off. If it's not that, then I justify it by saying I'm updating my wardrobe because I'm over 30 and a lot of the items in my closet wouldn't be appropriate for me to keep wearing anymore. Whatever it is, I always seem to find a way to justify it by saying "I'm buying it cheap."

It's still a problem because I am still spending money. I took some time to think about why I'm doing it, and I think it's because I'm trying to fulfill an emotional need. I don't have a lot of friends, I don't have any female friends who I could hang out and spend time with. My life is basically going to school, taking care of errands, looking for a new job, spending time with my husband, and health care.

Does anyone else ever have this problem? What did you do to catch yourself when you were out at a store and thought "oh, that would be so nice to have"? I've thought of asking myself, do I NEED it or do I just want to get it on impulse? Asking myself that question doesn't always work because I always find a way to use whatever I'm buying lol. It's kind of pathetic, and I need some pointers.
You could think of other ways to reward yourself and treat yourself, then begin practicing doing those things instead of spending. Maybe a yoga class, use a relaxation CD/download, read library books, get set up with a creative hobby like painting or crafting (of course, initial spending would be needed). If you're in therapy, spend some exploring this in depth, and learn about what need is being attempted to be met.

Good luck!
ECHOES is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:39 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.