SSDI Questions

Good morning everyone.

The good news: After three and a half years, I have a court date for my disability hearing. It is ten weeks from now.

The not so good news -> bad news: Though I know that it is more or less standard these days, they have denied me until this point and as a result, I am experiencing a good deal of stress over the upcoming hearing. I feel as if I have been holding my breath for the last three-plus years and my lungs are going to burst any moment. I have no back-up plan if I am denied and I have no illusions left that I can continue to work.

I have a rather nasty auto-immune disease that is incurable and has been the cause of death for every person I know that has had it. In addition, and this is far from a comprehensive list, I have heart disease (three heart attacks), chronic kidney disease, chronic liver disease, chronic lung disease, severe nerve damage, etc. All of the previous have been brought on or exacerbated by this auto-immune issue.

The disability judge who has been assigned to my case is not here yet; he is being transferred from another state to deal with the incredible backlog of cases awaiting a hearing in my area. I looked him up. He has one of the most abysmal approval percentages out there - he has only approved 27% of the people who have appeared in front of him for disability.

Here's my biggest concern... I am fifty-one years old. For all my life I have, with ingenuity, quick thinking and constantly staying on the move (I've lived in well over two hundred places in the last seven years - forty states and a dozen countries or more over my lifetime), hidden my mental health problems from the vast majority of folks I've come in contact with. Now, grounded by my health and no longer having the strength to run away, I started seeing a mental health professional to figure out how to live without running away.

I was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality disorder for those unfamiliar). No surprises - I knew. But that information is going in front of the judge. It took me fifty years to talk honestly about this with someone outside my immediate family - and heck, very few of them know. I trust my wife. I trust my therapist. I don't trust this judge. I know me; if he asks me about it, I'm going to shut down. If he condescends to me or treats me like I'm malingering, I fear I'm going to go postal. I may be sick but I have one more short burst of temper tantrum in me - and really, I've nothing to lose but a life that is slipping away anyway.

Alternatively, he could send me to a social security psych doctor for diagnostic confirmation re: the DID diagnosis. Please believe me when I tell you - it is not a choice: I can not talk to someone in an adversarial position about this. I feel a great deal of shame, fear, etc., over the diagnosis and my go to is to isolate. If that doesn't work, walls go up and I freeze and shut down completely.

I can't walk in to the hearing unprepared - and can't figure out how to prepare. I need some help.

Wow,that's a long wait. I hopes things turn out ok for you at the hearing. Do you have a lawyer?

Fwiw, I had to see an psych professional contracted with ssdi for an evaluation. I was super nervous about it, mostly because the doctor's name was a guy (I'm very intimidated when having to talk to a male psych). It turned out pretty easy to get through. I ended up seeing one of his post docs for the interview. While it was triggering and anxiety-provoking to rehash all the things she asked about, she was nice about it. The whole time I was panicked to say the wrong thing and wind up either hospitalized or denied ssdi because of the interview. Neither happened. There's a form they go through to standardize the assessment. It took me about an hour. I'm pretty sure I felt like she was going to think I was faking everything, but because they are just contracted to do assessments occasionally, I think they don't really have much invested in trying to be adversarial. They simply conform the info on your application.

Good luck with everything. Sorry I don't have any advice on how to prepare...

Is this a court date at which you must appear? If i remember correctly, i only had to appear at my appeal. I wasnt called for any initial finding, i forget what they called it. So are you in the appeal process already? Or are they just going to send you notice of their decision?

Yes.

I have been denied four times via mail - I have not seen anyone from the Social Security Administration except on the day I filed for and requested disability three and a half years ago.

I received a denial in the mail about five months after I first applied. I appealed that decision by mail and then called them to see what I should do next, when I could expect to hear from them, etc. I was told that my second denial would come in approximately nine months. I took exception to the way she phrased it and asked directly, "Don't you mean my second decision will come in about nine months?" She replied, "Well technically yes, but...well, if this is all you've got, then it'll be denied."

I continued to go to doctors and they continued to run tests and discover the nature of my illness. Eight months later, they discovered that I had an progressive, incurable, relatively untreatable (there are meds but they are ineffective on about half the patients - including myself), auto-immune disease. I called SSDI to ask if there was still time before they made their second decision for me to get my updated medical records to them. They replied that they sent me notice of my second denial four months previously and I failed to appeal within the thirty days they allowed.

I never received it. I couldn't work and had nothing to do all day but go to doctors and check the mail - it never came. They told me that I could appeal the closing of my case for 'just cause' or start over. I chose to appeal the closing of my case because the next step would be a hearing in front of a judge. Four months later they denied my 'just cause' saying that "if we took everyone's word for it that it didn't arrive in the mail, then it would be simply chaos". So I started over.

First denial came in the mail four months later. I appealed. Second denial came in the mail four months after that. I appealed that. Fifteen months later I received notice that I have a hearing in front of a judge in three months. That was two weeks ago. Incidentally, I do have a lawyer. However, I have never met him and just had our first conversation last week. I have been working up till now with a lawyer with the firm who handles the preliminaries (up to the hearing date being scheduled).

My understanding is that the judge can do one of two things at the hearing: He can refer me for further testing with a doctor who is paid by SSDI or he can make a decision. If he makes a decision then I will hear the results in approximately six weeks. If I am approved, I will get a check at that point. If I am denied, I can appeal one last time.

So i thought you already had meetings with drs. Those were not SSDI drs, that you took all those funny tests with? Also, i remember lawyers and or ts being pretty adamant about what condition to file for. Not that i can remember which. But they were like, this always gets approved, that never gets approved. Are you going mental or physical or both?

No, the tests are pretty conclusive and not objective at all. i.e. my blood work tests positive for myasthenia gravis. There is no other conclusive tests and so to see a SSDI medical doctor to run the same blood test that was tested and another blood sample was taken to confirm the findings...I just don't think they thought it necessary. Most of what is wrong with me physically are side effects of the myasthenia and to be expected with this disease.

*nods* Myasthenia is supposed to be a near guarantee, but things are getting tougher.

Well, one doesn't get to pick really. I have made my records available from both my medical and psych team providers. The judge may deem my psychiatric limitations as not disabling, but might find that I qualify for disability for physical reasons and the mental doesn't matter or isn't needed. Conversely, he could find my psychiatric disabilities so severe that he doesn't even have to consider my physical condition.

My greatest concern, besides the possibility that I am denied, is that he brings up my DID diagnosis in court or refers me to a SSDI psychiatrist. Because I will not talk to him or a psychiatrist who is paid to find me 'not disabled' about that.

Sounds like it will be automatic approval, if you are as affected by Myasthenia Gravis as you say and have your doctors' papers, etc.: Disability for Myasthenia Gravis: Benefits and Filing Information | Disability Secrets

You do have all the credits, etc. needed for SSDI don't you? Otherwise you should be going for SSI and I don't know, with all the times you have moved, if a particular state and residency requirements would be met?

Why exactly did they turn you down; what criteria did they say you didn't meet? It might indeed be hard if you have been hiding your illnesses and don't have a paper record of seeking help, not being able to work over time, etc.

SSDI has had my doctors reports re: myasthenia gravis for two of the last four denials I have received.

I do have the necessary credits as well as meeting the residency requirements.

The turned me down because, a non-medical examiner determined that my disabilities did not prevent me from working. Non-medical examiner = a bureaucrat with no medical training.

I have hid my psychiatric issues - not my physical ones. My physical ones began four years ago now and I had extensive documentation from a host of doctors, including my primary care physician, my neurologist, and my respiratory specialist.

While I did hide my psychiatric issues prior to recently, in a sense it has been documented by my work history: i.e. I have never held a job for a year since I began working 35 years ago which is consistent with psychiatric determinations and diagnosis's that I have recently received.

That was a big fear with me too speaking on the dissociative identity disorder dx....I thought I was going to shut down cry get interfered with often at that time that is all what was happening....My God no hearing ....I was panicking with just the thought of it. I think all of that matters the interference the shut down it will show them at what stage your in.....I have no experience with hearing I got approved the first try so I'm not sure what to tell you ...I think the best thing to do is just talk and whatever comes out comes out in the way it comes out be prepared to repeat have alters explain either incomplete what ever word comes out that doesn't make sense is what has to happen. Good luck

I know some agencies deny claims because they don't have time ("ie inadequate staff") to deal with them. This is true with workmans comp claims at least. Maybe now that it's under a judges eyes it will finally be approved. Has your lawyer advised you at all on how to prepare? That seems like his job. Good Luck this time. I hope he will be fair.

No, my lawyer has not told me how to prepare yet. I have never met him and just had our first conversation last week (via phone). I have been working up till now with a lawyer with the firm who handles the preliminaries (up to the hearing date being scheduled). While I am certain that he will give me some tips before the hearing, I am equally sure that he could care less about me as a person - this is just a numbers game for his firm...take as many cases as they can that they think have a decent chance of approval, push them through and collect a $6000 check for each person who gets approved.