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romantic rose
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Default May 04, 2019 at 02:39 PM
  #1
Apologies to anyone if I cause offence with this post, is just my honest personal thoughts on my issues around sexuality.

As someone who finds women physically attractive, often more so than men, but feels sick at the thought of being with a women intimately (when I say I feel sick at the thought of being with a woman I am talking purely about me, I don't feel sick at the thought or sight of other women being together), it's fair to say I am sexually confused. I don't know if this means I am not a lesbian, or that I am just not comfortable with the fact I am and am sick with the fear of coming out and truly accepting my true self.

What makes someone a lesbian? I don't particularly like the word, and it sticks out at me when I read it in a paragraph. This is probably related to my mh issues around it all, and the fact I have had two psychotic episodes where I have been convinced people have been saying I am a lesbian.

There are a lot of connotations around who people think lesbians are. I have been told I can't be a lesbian because I am not tough, and bolshie. I'm not masculine either, which is a stereotype. But the fact is I find women who are feminine more attractive than men a lot of the time, not 'masculine' looking women, and I like feeling feminine. At the same time I don't obsess over my looks to the point that I am a virtual make up artist, and have never been good at doing my hair, make up or nails, and I am not maternal, so that probably fits all the stereotypes.

Surely the main thing is how you feel inside, rather than how you behave in general and towards others?

I have no desire to be with a woman, or 'experiment', and I even(as I posted the other day) had a dream the other night where my male friend beating me in a quiz turned me on, literally. Could a lesbian be turned on by this?

If people haven't been too offended by what I have posted here, I would like to ask anyone who identifies as lesbian when and how they 'knew' they were gay, and what being a lesbian means to them. And do you think a lesbian could theoretically be turned on by male dominance, physical or intellectual? I don't experience any arousal from female dominance, although if a woman is muscular and masculine sometimes I can find it arousing to see her dominate another woman (this has happened only in the context of watching female tennis players).

Could I be bisexual? Or could it just be that I am too hung up on labels? Is it best to just love who you are attracted to and not worry too much about what their gender happens to be?

Once again apologies if any offence has been caused, and thank you for reading this far.
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bunnyhabit
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Default May 04, 2019 at 03:13 PM
  #2
If guys turn you on you are definitely not a lesbian. lesbians find men repulsive. from your description I would classify you as bicurious. you are questioning being intimate with a girl but fear a positive impact. you are more than likely a straight girl letting your mind roam about new experiences feeling a girl may be more sensitive to your personality. I am bi and find both men and women appealing and have no fear or inhibitions about showing them how i feel. perhaps a little therapy will determine your true sexuality.
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Thanks for this!
romantic rose
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Default May 05, 2019 at 11:51 AM
  #3
I wouldn't say men's bodies really do turn me on although I do like muscular men. Most of the time I think women have more attractive bodies, whereas I am attracted more to men's faces.

Isn't it possible that you are open about how you feel because you are comfortable with yourself and your sexuality, whereas I have not really worked out or come to terms with mine?

A lot of what turns me on goes on in my head rather than in reality, although as I say I have never been with a woman sexually or fantasised about or really considered it that much.

I did the sexual orientation test in the other thread and it came up asexual, which makes sense in ways.

It feels like the only way to solve the problem is to experiment with a woman, to see how it feels compared to being with a man.
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just2b
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Default Oct 11, 2019 at 12:28 AM
  #4
I hear ya! I am finding i am confused. I posted my little story ...feel free to read it. After my divorice i had sex with a girl. Then went back to men which didnt last long after being with another women and been celibate for 6 years. Right now dont think i like either. And find i am more asexual. Sometimes i find my manager, therapist and co worker attractive, all females. Not sexual but admirable, but also distracting attractive as in when i am in session i am thinking of her...how her dress fits, how her hair is, sometimes even to imagining kissing her. My manager, same thing but not to the point of imagining a kiss.

Just a simple friend of either gender would be nice. Though the guy would have to be gay so that there is noway in hell he would ever make a pass at me. I just think right now it would have to be like that. A girl, i could settle for a friend, but open minded.

Asexual with lesbian tendencies???!?!
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