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Old 07-10-2019, 03:20 PM   #1
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Default Online LGBT grouos are hypocritical

I've been on multiple grouos for LGBT+ folk, and in the vast majority they claim to be we,coming of all sexualities and gender expressions, but in reality they're always full of bigots and tribalism.

Many groups in-fight with each other - lesbians versus trans women, aces versus gays, aces versus greys, heteros versus gays, gays versus bi, lgbt versus heteros, etc And some groups get punched by almost everyone - the objectums, fictos, oneiros, mechas, furries and otherkin.

Dont believe the hype - there are no really safe spaces for every sexuality, whatever lies they spout. Pride is a sham, and most 'LGBTQIIA+' spaces are every bit as judgemental as everywhere else.
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Old 07-10-2019, 07:10 PM   #2
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Default Re: Online LGBT grouos are hypocritical

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Originally Posted by Pygmalion View Post
I've been on multiple grouos for LGBT+ folk, and in the vast majority they claim to be we,coming of all sexualities and gender expressions, but in reality they're always full of bigots and tribalism.

Many groups in-fight with each other - lesbians versus trans women, aces versus gays, aces versus greys, heteros versus gays, gays versus bi, lgbt versus heteros, etc And some groups get punched by almost everyone - the objectums, fictos, oneiros, mechas, furries and otherkin.

Dont believe the hype - there are no really safe spaces for every sexuality, whatever lies they spout. Pride is a sham, and most 'LGBTQIIA+' spaces are every bit as judgemental as everywhere else.
You can be correct about that. If you google LGBTQ message board, the top listing is a place with over 38,500 members but have less than 30 members with 1,000 postings. Just did the math, that is less than 0.0008% of the membership base with over 1,000 postings. Why join a group like that.

Being a lesbian and less a problem being a atheist -- there is in-fighting. True, the lesbian community and with the LGBT and every year it keeps on adding more letters. The problem with the LGBT community, is the fact that the most vast vocal members of the community has a college education -- and they are all chasing after money and fame. Second, they are running around in the Twitter Universe, making postings, and chasing to get more members with their twitter account. If I was on Twitter, and I was debating another lesbian. She can say she has 20,000 members and I only have 10,000, so I must be wrong.
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Old 07-10-2019, 07:24 PM   #3
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Default Re: Online LGBT grouos are hypocritical

I'm sorry you've experienced that crap as well.
So annoying ... I believe/ hope I've found a welcoming place, and within a short time I find I'm invalidated and disowned for no reason ...
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Old 07-10-2019, 08:57 PM   #4
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Default Re: Online LGBT grouos are hypocritical

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I'm sorry you've experienced that crap as well.
So annoying ... I believe/ hope I've found a welcoming place, and within a short time I find I'm invalidated and disowned for no reason ...
Is there a rational reason to disown someone because they are a adult, and their sex partner is a adult as well. What two people who are adults want to do with each others bodies is their personal right to do so: if it is about sex. It is a waste of my mental skills to fantasy about two adults having sex, than talk or write something negative about it.

For almost a year of my life, I was active on Twitter. I talked about being a lesbian and being a atheist. I did have a few lesbian friends, and we had a passive friendship. I did have really a short friendship with another atheist woman. She was not interested to debate with a fellow female atheist. She was only interested in finding vocal Christians and start trolling them. Even that I ended up have over 11,000 following, when I did make a post, on average only less than 50 people were interested. Since you can only post so many words. Twitter, it became dull, boring, and uninteresting with me. Second, my feed was interested in currant affairs that became breaking news. It became, follow the breaking news, if it follows your ideology, than troll it until it gets out of the news cycle. That is not that interesting, because the posters did not having depth with knowledge on the subject. With over 11,000 following me, I just stopped posting.

What interests me more, is a good nonfiction book.
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Old 07-10-2019, 11:21 PM   #5
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Default Re: Online LGBT grouos are hypocritical

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I'm sorry you've experienced that crap as well.
So annoying ... I believe/ hope I've found a welcoming place, and within a short time I find I'm invalidated and disowned for no reason ...
Someone here has invalidated you? What do you mean by disowned?
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Old 07-11-2019, 01:18 AM   #6
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Someone here has invalidated you? What do you mean by disowned?
No, not here

Here is good

On other places ... A couple of Reddit groups and an asexual forum.
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Old 07-17-2019, 11:17 AM   #7
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Default Re: Online LGBT grouos are hypocritical

Sorry to hear about your bad experiences. I also am hyper-aware of the un-tolerance or unacceptance among the LGBTQ communities. Sadly ironic, isn't it? All we can do is try our best and not fall into the same pattern. And keep on trying to find community where we can.
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Old 07-17-2019, 03:17 PM   #8
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Default Re: Online LGBT grouos are hypocritical

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Sorry to hear about your bad experiences. I also am hyper-aware of the un-tolerance or unacceptance among the LGBTQ communities. Sadly ironic, isn't it? All we can do is try our best and not fall into the same pattern. And keep on trying to find community where we can.
Yeah.
Weird thing is that it seems wherever you go there's always at least some people who are, well, mean.

It really doesn't seem to matter what over-arching group it is, or what they themselves have been through, or whatever. I guess some people are just, well, bad people. I think it means that most people can never be safe or welcome anywhere. I don't think there's a solution either, especially online where you can't even walk away or smack them, you just gotta put up with them.
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Old 07-18-2019, 04:04 PM   #9
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Default Re: Online LGBT grouos are hypocritical

That's true. There will be negative people in all groups. As a gay man, I always refer to the LGBTQ communities, in order to make clear that I do not see us all as one homogenous group. It's like saying the Asian community or the Progressive/Liberal Community or the Christian Community. (I am of an asian ethnicity and identify as progressive and Christian.) Everyone who could be labeled any of those things are not the same as everyone else who can also be so-labeled. We have so many different sub-groups and perspectives. The same with the LGBTQs. I mean, can't even say the "gay community" because Ican say definitely from experience that we do not even remotely all fall into the same "community"! But I would offer the perspective that most of those negative forum people tend to be on the more "militant" side of wahtever group they are a part of, hence their being more free to be more outspoken, brash, intolerant, etc. But, you just try not to be baited, triggered, or similar in your own activity, so as to "rise above it," if you will. Not all LGBTQ groups/forums are bad.
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Old 07-19-2019, 12:32 PM   #10
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Default Re: Online LGBT grouos are hypocritical

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That's true. There will be negative people in all groups. As a gay man, I always refer to the LGBTQ communities, in order to make clear that I do not see us all as one homogenous group. It's like saying the Asian community or the Progressive/Liberal Community or the Christian Community. (I am of an asian ethnicity and identify as progressive and Christian.) Everyone who could be labeled any of those things are not the same as everyone else who can also be so-labeled. We have so many different sub-groups and perspectives. The same with the LGBTQs. I mean, can't even say the "gay community" because Ican say definitely from experience that we do not even remotely all fall into the same "community"! But I would offer the perspective that most of those negative forum people tend to be on the more "militant" side of wahtever group they are a part of, hence their being more free to be more outspoken, brash, intolerant, etc. But, you just try not to be baited, triggered, or similar in your own activity, so as to "rise above it," if you will. Not all LGBTQ groups/forums are bad.
True, it is only ever the minority.

But when that minority is allowed to bully, invalidate or harass then the whole thing becomes quite toxic. That has happened to me with three online groups, where it hardly seems me worth hanging about if some people are just going to be personal, mean, and tell me straight up I'm not welcome etc.

And I've heard plenty of others from many orientations say the same thing - the amount of 'in-fighting' and weird gate-keeping amongst sexuality identity groups is crazy. Even in groups that are ostensibly moderated, or advertise themselves as open to all etc.
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