Here and now what's been happening L8LY

In the last month since February 2013 I have lost a good friend to suicide, my mental issues have come back rather strong I have anxiety, depression, sever social anxiety, bipolar, border line personality disorder, dyslexia and short memory lost since a child not very server tho I think, slight OCD, negative self image can't remember what "they" call that. I was in a car accident in the middle of march2013 nothing really serious whip lash and mussel damage and then a week or two after that my wife went away to see a friend and had an affair My wife and I meet 3.5 years ago, have been married for about 1.5 years. We have unprotected sex as we both got tested together after 2 weeks of meeting. She has just returned from her first trip to see a friend a few hundred miles away. She called me the day she was flying back and informed me that she had cheated on my with one guy and can't remember if they used protection she is pretty sure she did but can't remember, she stated she also gave him head without protection aswell, she stated that she was extremely drunk and can't figure why she did it, she said she was pretty sure she had told him about me, she also said that she was thinking about me the whole time but couldnt do anything to stop, she Also can't figure out why she couldn't stop just to give you the back story. This happened 5 days ago, I decided I want to try and work things out I've told her we can't do anything sexually and that because of the unprotected oral sex i cannot kiss her either till she gets a initial test so that i can give her a kiss.
I've been ok but this the other morning I broke down hence why I'm here now because all I want to do is hold her, give here a kiss and let her know it can and everything will be ok, be intimate but cannot because of her being unsure of if they used protection but I feel that intimacy is if not what we need to heal I need it to try and feel close to her, it doesn't need to be penetration even just a kiss and to hold each other.
Now my questions: Have i done the right thing in taking her back? I feel as tho I have. Have I done the right thing with not wanting to do anything intimate till her test come back? Not even kissing? Is there anything I / we can do to be intimate safely? What would /could be ok? Is there anything we should avoid or look out for ( symptoms )? Any help and/or insight at all would be so appreciated?

Heartbroken,

I'll put in my two cents, even though I've been with my wife for 21 years and for most of that time she was verbally and emotionally abusive but I'VE STAYED and it has taken its toll on me, physically(loss of libido, chronic respiratory infections) and mentally(making me more unstable/ultradian cycling bipolar). Forget about testing or kissing and focus on the DRINKING. Extremely drunk were your wife's words. Not one glass of wine or a beer. She was out of control! My wife is an alcoholic, though I don't know if she ever cheated on me with men or women(she had girl on girl adult mags when I met her). My wife is more effed up than me. But back to my point. I was always the 'nice' guy, a doormat, a guy women liked as a 'friend'...in short, a shmuck.

It's not easy for many men to tell a woman to shove off but if she drinks and cheated, once, I think there's a possibility she'll do it again OR she just figures you're like a puppy dog and you'll always be there and take her back. If you've got a psychiatrist or psychologist, tell that person the whole story. Gather your family and friends for moral support, then see a lawyer. Again, I say it isn't easy. You will hurt, you will cry, you will get depressed, you will miss her, but she is f**king with you and knows you'll let her get away with it. Don't be like me and flush two decades down the toilet. I'm starting psychotherapy to unblock my head and get out of this depression that's killing me. Start by working on your negative self image. That's where this started and when you fix that, you won't let any woman dump on you, again.