Contempt for my brother

My brother is 25 and im 23, we've been living together all my life. Right now he and my dad share a place with me; everything is split three ways. Except for my older brother, he has to receive help because he has zero drive. Zero drive in anything actually. Doesn't use soap when bathing, can't wipe his bum properly, urinates all over the floor, doesn't do his own laundry, can't pay his third of the bills, can't even be bothered to call in a refill for his inhaler to the pharmacy two blocks away. Nothing, he can't even be bothered to look for a job. He has been working part time at a pizza joint for seven years and still only makes $8.00 an hour and my parents got him that job. They even filled out the application for him. It's pathetic, he's pathetic, worthless, waste of air, unneeded, nothing but a burden to my family. I haven't had a single positive thought about him in years. It's all bad, everyday I get agitated with lack of ambition in life and the obstacles he creates.

But I'm kind of envious though. Too be content with such a life must be nice. To rely on ones family with no guilt must be nice.

So im done with him. I wipe my hands clean of him. I feel no love toward him and haven't for years. What I thought was love was just my sense of obligation to family. But not anymore, he needs? No, A place to live? No, advice? No. Don't care what happens. I have been withholding my true feelings for years in hope that he would change. Now I just want to feel his face crunch under my fist.

Hello Stuck1nhead: I'm sorry you are feeling so much anger. From what you wrote, it sounds to me as though it is justified. We all have our limits. And it sounds like your brother transgressed yours years ago. Anger can be corrosive over time, though. So I hope that, over time, you will be able to find a way to let yours go.

Im still angry with him and I haven't talked too him since I started this thread. Even though I'm still angry with him but it has become more of a cold anger. Talked with my T and he believe that a lot of my pent up anger is due to my brother. So now I just see him as a troublesome roommate. Which my mind has seem to of agreed with.

I know you are probably not in a situation to move away, but that might help if you do not have to see him all the time. Anyways it sounds like you have to sacrifice a lot of your own things for him which can be angering because you obviously worked for it and it also wastes your time . It is probably best to get over your madness about him though. I find it a waste to be mad at somebody you can not change, as it just sucks energy that could be used in better ways. I hope your situation gets better .

I had a similar trying relationship with my brother who was also 2 years older than me. I took me long to understand that he was simply different and had many mental issues I did not have to struggle with. He died many years ago and I'm still very sorry that I did not just love him for who he was. Okay, when you are young you want a brother you can be proud of and he was not the typical brother you can be proud of just like that; and there is also very much competition among brothers. Are you jealous that he get's so much 'undeserved' attention from your parents? Is he depressed? You should be aware that it is hard for him to live such a low-energy life? Judging from your post her you are the lucky one because you have the power to have a good life. Keep that in mind. Don't hate him or feel angry with him. It is indeed a waste of your energy. Have you ever talked to him about his life? Why he has not got any bigger plans? When I was your age, I moved away, becauce I always wanted to. I do not know, whether this is an option for you. Sometimes a certain geographic distance really helps to clear things up and you will see better what you want in life. I have the impression that you discover your chances and do not circle so much about familiy. But as I said before, I do not know, whether or not moving away and having an independent life is what you want.