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sito
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Default Jun 13, 2017 at 01:09 PM
  #1
My life hasn't gone in the direction that planned out. I originally want to enter medicine but I burn out at the end of school. Depression suddenly hit me but I was unaware it. I changed career several times but I haven't been satisfied with any my actions. I work in IT field now. I don't feel content with my life. I just don't know where my life should headed.

Women seem to. Have easier time sorting out their goals in life. I wonder if other men have trouble focusing on their goal. I hope to get feedback from you guys here. My therapist is only interested in prescribing meds. I am tired of it
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Shocked Jun 13, 2017 at 06:56 PM
  #2
Well... I'm an older person now. But what I can say is that my life went off the rails early & just kept going. I have sometimes tried to think back to where the initial derailment occurred. But to no avail. I think, to some extent, I was probably just an accident looking for a place to happen from the get-go.
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Default Jun 13, 2017 at 07:50 PM
  #3
Me too. I had my first major meltdown (mental health breakdown, not a tantrum) when I was five or six years old. And my life went very badly thereafter.

I've tried to make the best of whatever I have, but I've fallen so far short of what I imagined I wanted, it took this long for me to accept that I wasn't going to have the things almost everyone else has, or do the things everyone else does. With acceptance still comes sadness. And grief.
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Default Jun 15, 2017 at 02:27 PM
  #4
Oops, I missed that this is the men's support forum, and I'm a woman. I'm sorry. If it bothers anyone just report my two posts and a moderator can delete them.
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sito
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Default Jun 15, 2017 at 06:21 PM
  #5
No problem. I welcome all comments
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Default Jun 15, 2017 at 06:22 PM
  #6
I just don't know where to post
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Default Jun 15, 2017 at 07:02 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by sito View Post
I just don't know where to post
Maybe in "other mental health..." Forum? Or maybe in the "depression" forum?
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Default Jun 15, 2017 at 07:37 PM
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Can mod move my post to depression?
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Default Jun 26, 2017 at 01:12 PM
  #9
Hey Sito.

What you are describing is normal. As for women finding it easier, I don't think so. Women often have to have a career that works around their husband's, or they have to leave their careers and re-train after having a family.

There are far, far more careers out there than what most of us are aware of.

What drew you to medicine? Was it your interest or were you pushed to enter the field? What parts of it did you like or dislike? You say you are working in IT now. Are there possibilities of working in medical database administration, where you would be able to speak both I.T. language and medical language?

I see you are in Canada. Is there a possibility of looking into work in medical imaging technology? What about companies that provide service to HR departments for major corporations around drug and alcohol testing? Those policies have to be backed by research so that if the person is dismissed from a job, the employer can say, "Yeah. We fired him. His actions were unsafe because his decision making was impaired by taking drug xyz during work hours, and we have the research documented to back that up."

What about clinical research? Is there something to build off from your undergrad (biology, chem, physics)??

If you made it to the end of med school, you are crazy smart.... Smarter than most. There are different measures of intelligence but that level of education means you can read, write, analyze, plan, see things visual-spatial, and do more math than 95% of the population, AND you can turn all of that into action... Not just a deep thinker. And, it means you can f**cking work!! Med school and engineers f**king work! Do you know how many young people today don't know how to work???

You need to breathe... I think you are tearing yourself up for not finishing med school. You know what? Everyone reaches a limit. Yours could have been because you didn't like it and pushed through for years, or you had a bad loss at work, or life forces outside you affected you, or the crazy shift rotations wore you down, or you sacrificed a relationship to keep going in school.

All that means you're human! We can ALL be broken, and most of us are at some point.

Successful people take credit for their wins, and blame their losses on things outside their control. That behavior ensures their "self" is protected. You can adopt some of that attitude to shrug of med school, perhaps.

Sito, you live in a good country. You have a job that pays OK for now. You have a ton of additional education that maybe you can build off for something else. You're OK, and you can be even better. You're smart and hardworking. You can end up doing pretty near anything you want, and in the meantime, you still have a job that is paying the bills.

You have a long working life ahead of you... You have time to figure out what works for you in your career.

You're going to be great.
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Default Jun 28, 2017 at 10:55 AM
  #10
I totally understand and feel the same way.
I held it together most of my life but was never able to achieve what
I thought I would or be as successful as I thought I would be.
So many mental roadblocks that I never realized where the MI issues
that I now know I have always had. At 54 years old it is tough to except
because I still feel I have it me but something is always there that prevents it.

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Default Oct 26, 2017 at 11:09 PM
  #11
I have changed my path so many times in life. I started in the media industry and now will wind up as a specialized doctor (I won't specify for the sake of privacy). I am pre-med right now and still have biting insecurity about it.

RD is right. I have been broken and fixed countless times and know that it will get better again. You will recover and you will succeed. You are hyper smart for getting through med school. Redirect that intelligence!

You got this.
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Default Oct 27, 2017 at 05:28 PM
  #12
I completely understand what you're going through. It's hard to feel like you accomplished something if you're not satisfied with life.

I didn't accomplish any of of my goals. I never graduated college, never married or had kids, and ended up losing my home to foreclosure.

If you're not content in life, then find what makes you content. Possibly a new hobby? A new social group? Keep searching, and you will fall in love with something you never knew you liked.
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Default Oct 30, 2017 at 03:35 PM
  #13
I also am not where I thought I would be in life at this age (48), working an administrative job when I was on course for a phd and also burned out in school, I have career or job hopped so much my resume looks like a work of fiction at this point or a severely undecided person at the very least.
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Default Nov 09, 2017 at 01:44 PM
  #14
I'm 52 and been at the same company for 18 years. I've climbed the ladder and am at a high level. However, I question my ability to lead at the level I'm at. Anxiety and Depression have plagued me for most of my life. I've self medicated with alcohol and pot off and on but presently have been clean for several months. I've also been prescribed meds from my Dr which currently are helping very much. My job is just a job to me even though it more than pays the bills I don't have a passion for it. I've procrastinated my way into a bad spot where I'll have a new boss soon and I'll have very little to show him. My counterpart just gave his notice so now I'll have to cover his role on top of mine. I feel close to a breaking point. I have two kids and a great wife who need me to support them. I have to make this work but have zero drive. I'm afraid, very afraid of cracking up again.
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