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Old 10-02-2019, 05:32 PM   #1
DarkPath
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Thumbs down 33 yo and still a virgin,with no relationship,girlfriend etc.

Hello,i feel a bit weird and ashamed to post this right now,but it's what it is,the reallity i cannot face still,i am as usual shy,closed self ,with low self esteem,low self confidence and many more,from school years still i was unsure and with self insecurities of what should do in some areas.

Lack of experience that a girl will notice easily with just the first communication,it's enough to stay away from me,i don't know what to say or fear will get a rejection in my face like a punch.

I often had some thoughts to make a start with an escort,but i have not the courage to do a move like this.In my job enviroment i have a lot of women to talk with,but again i'm just the guy less talkative there and nobody will impressed,they look sometimes weird or wondering things for me.

Self doubts killing me and self insecurities,i don't know how to make a start without be ridiculous.I should lose virginity sooner as possible and find a stable relationship,make any suggestion it can give a boost,idea or help.
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Old 10-03-2019, 01:32 PM   #2
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Smile Re: 33 yo and still a virgin,with no relationship,girlfriend etc.

Hello DarkPath: I'm sorry I don't think there are any particular suggestions I can offer. But I noticed this is your first post here on PC. And you have not yet been greeted. So... welcome to Psych Central. The Relationships & Communication forum, here on PC, is another one that may be of interest to you. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

The Steps to Better Self Esteem forum may also be one to check out:

https://psychcentralforums.com/steps...r-self-esteem/

Here are links to 2 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that may be of interest:

How Can a Shy Adult Get Dates Without Using Online Dating?

5 Dating Tips For Introverts

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.
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Old 10-05-2019, 04:27 PM   #3
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Angry Re: 33 yo and still a virgin,with no relationship,girlfriend etc.

Well,i know many may laugh out loud and say what a jerk/idiot is that guy over here,but i just don't have the experience to try things,even the basic things of dating,of communicating,of socialize,i don't know how to say to a girl i like her,or to ask her number to make a chat or to ask her a met for a coffee.It's the classical fear of fealing that rejection is coming into your face and you don't know how to react,most of all i fear to speak for my self when they ask me anything,i'm trying to hide my shyness and this lack of experience in basic areas but i can't pretending everytime,they will understand after awhile.To be a virgin in the age of 33 yo and don't have even a "cheap" relationship seems to be more serious that it sounds.

I also hate social media such as instagram,facebook,even worse tinder type.
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Old 10-07-2019, 06:21 PM   #4
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Default Re: 33 yo and still a virgin,with no relationship,girlfriend etc.

I have had trouble in this area as well. I haven't had a consistent relationship with a woman ever. I'm 26. I feel like people in my life expect me to have had a relationship by now, but when I test that out by asking people whether they think that or not, they usually don't care that I haven't had a relationship yet.

I have found that things tend to happen with women (dates, etc.) when you least expect it. One strategy that might help you is to just stop expecting so much of yourself. You don't need to go out of your way to make things happen (sex-wise) with a woman.

But you might want to try putting yourself out there more. What's the worst that could happen if you ask a woman for her phone number, or even for her Instagram or whatever? The worst thing that can possibly happen in that scenario will be that the woman says no. That's it.

Another word of advice: take it slow. I know you mentioned that you're a virgin, which is completely fine. But, if you meet someone that you get along with, take it easy, and don't rush into the sex thing. Talk first. Talk a lot. Then you can worry about the physical stuff.

Having asked girls out before, the best thing you can do is go into it with an open mind. That's the only thing you can do.
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Old 10-09-2019, 01:34 PM   #5
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Default Re: 33 yo and still a virgin,with no relationship,girlfriend etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by skibum801 View Post
Another word of advice: take it slow. I know you mentioned that you're a virgin, which is completely fine. But, if you meet someone that you get along with, take it easy, and don't rush into the sex thing. Talk first. Talk a lot. Then you can worry about the physical stuff.

No,it's not so fine to be virgin at this age,people may think weird things,that you have a problem or you are just stupid,it's not something you can hide in any way,when you will meet a women,she will understand if you are experienced or not in some areas and probably they will reject you for this reason,that nobody wants to start a relationship with a 33 yo virgin dude. I don't wanna go in brothels,escorts,or search a partner through tinder,these choices are just too low level.

Last edited by DarkPath; 10-09-2019 at 01:58 PM..
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Old 10-14-2019, 11:56 AM   #6
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Default Re: 33 yo and still a virgin,with no relationship,girlfriend etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkPath View Post
No,it's not so fine to be virgin at this age,people may think weird things,that you have a problem or you are just stupid,it's not something you can hide in any way,when you will meet a women,she will understand if you are experienced or not in some areas and probably they will reject you for this reason,that nobody wants to start a relationship with a 33 yo virgin dude. I don't wanna go in brothels,escorts,or search a partner through tinder,these choices are just too low level.
Of course, don't go to brothels, etc. But Tinder could be an option. I think you need to have a more open mind.

Women aren't creatures who judge constantly. Especially the older they get. If you find the right one, she will not judge you for that; I guarantee it. Of course, there are some women who might judge you for it. But, if they do, that is an indication that THEY have a problem; not you!

I really hope you can find some relief from this.
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Old 10-16-2019, 04:52 PM   #7
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Default Re: 33 yo and still a virgin,with no relationship,girlfriend etc.

I don't know what to do.
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Old 10-16-2019, 10:03 PM   #8
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Default Re: 33 yo and still a virgin,with no relationship,girlfriend etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkPath View Post
I don't know what to do.
Well, it just seems like you need to determine what you want to do! Do you want a girlfriend? If so, try to talk to women more, whether it's through a social group you already are with, or whether it's through Meetup.com or something like that.

Those groups aren't necessarily destinations to meet women for hook ups but at least you would be practicing your social skills with women around that way.

There's also the online dating thing... I don't really like online dating, but look where it's gotten me! I have no girlfriend either. But oh well. Life goes on.

Just don't give up, because relationships are hard!
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Old Yesterday, 05:00 PM   #9
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Default Re: 33 yo and still a virgin,with no relationship,girlfriend etc.

It's a labyrinth,you wanna talk but you are shy and fearful that they will understand you don't have basic experience nowhere,you wanna hide but you can't,then they will laugh cause you are virgin etc,social groups are mostly fake with fake profiles and these platforms weird,online dating is an uknown situation,you give personal details to someone you don't even know.I'm miles away now and stuck in nowhere,fearing to give a try.
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