[lost and exhausted]

My brother who has Bi-polar has become someone I no longer know. My mother is 89 and I've been taking care of her for many years while trying to work a hectic job. My brother used to tell me what a great job I'm doing and even help out some. In the past 2 years he has become everything I have read about regarding narcissistic disorder. We used to be close and I have leant him a lot of money over the years. He now comes over and criticizes everything I do. Tells me how to do things and wants money from my mother. My heart is broken and I can't talk to him without an argument. Please help!

[Travelinglady]

Hi, lost and exhausted, and welcome to Psych Central! I'm sorry your brother is being this way. He's probably thinking she's coming to the end of her life and he wants "his share and more," even though you have been the caregiver. You won't be able to keep him from running his mouth, but you can look after yourself and your mother. Does anyone have power of attorney (durable and medical)? If not, then it needs to be done ASAP.

Is he trying to get your mother on his side--turning her against you?

[Aliceiw]

Originally Posted by lost and exhausted

My brother who has Bi-polar has become someone I no longer know. My mother is 89 and I've been taking care of her for many years while trying to work a hectic job. My brother used to tell me what a great job I'm doing and even help out some. In the past 2 years he has become everything I have read about regarding narcissistic disorder. We used to be close and I have leant him a lot of money over the years. He now comes over and criticizes everything I do. Tells me how to do things and wants money from my mother. My heart is broken and I can't talk to him without an argument. Please help!

Bipolar is different than narcisistic personality disorder. Personality disorders are all the time, they don't go through waves. What he is likely experiencing is something called mania or hypomania. Essentially, this makes you have an inflated self esteem, make bad decisions (money is a normal one), and it can make you extremely irritable. If he isn't on medication, he needs it. Just like diabetes, it has to be given every day for the rest of their life. Otherwise, symptoms will occur. The best thing you could do is encourage him to get help, ask if he wants to see someone together if you think he might respond to that. Eventually, the episode will crash down into depression and he may be more willing to seek help at that point. Educate yourself on the disorder, it can be really complicated. Message me if you need and I can try my best to answer questions. Bipolar is a medical condition (medication needed), not a personality trait (something that usually responds best with therapy alone).

[All Is Revealed]

Originally Posted by Aliceiw

Bipolar is different than narcisistic personality disorder. Personality disorders are all the time, they don't go through waves. What he is likely experiencing is something called mania or hypomania. Essentially, this makes you have an inflated self esteem, make bad decisions (money is a normal one), and it can make you extremely irritable.

So true. Many people think I'm Narcissistic but I'm not. I'm definitely hypomanic. I can feel like I'm a king one day, and feel so irritable the next day.

[winter loneliness]

Originally Posted by All Is Revealed

So true. Many people think I'm Narcissistic but I'm not. I'm definitely hypomanic. I can feel like I'm a king one day, and feel so irritable the next day.

Along with your other diagnoses?

[Teddy Bear]

Welcome to PC sorry that dealing with family is sometimes hard