Is this NPD?

I'll try to be succinct. I met a man online. He attached to me very quickly, with quite a few immediate demands on my time. There were a few very volatile events, harsh words meant to "correct" me. I did eventually develop feelings for him, as he's otherwise very loving, attentive, and has many great qualities. We have so many mutual dreams and interests. We've met three times in person in the last 7 months. Every time we get together, he's suspicious of texts, pictures of old dates that may be on my phone. He throws a period of time that I "played the field" in my face frequently, even though I've been 100% faithful to him since I agreed to be exclusive. Mixed in all that insanity, we do have a great time together, working well at projects together, and have a close bond. Every few weeks, he seems to come up with a reason to find fault with me, many times because he feels ignored. I am on video chat with him nearly constantly apart from work and time that he or I sleep (long-distance relationship, so 8 hour time difference). I literally can't spend more time with him and when I try to do things I need to do, even while staying in camera, he tells me I constantly ignore him. He then blocks me on social media and sends me angry emails full of cruel words and promises he's gone forever. Often he then comes back, asking why I ever thought he'd leave. I'm going crazy. I don't know why I can't just cut him loose. It's like an addiction that is killing me. I'm in my forties and an independent person....I don't know why he has such a hold on me. The days he ignores me are painful, I have never done that to him and would never do that to someone I claim to love. I'm sorry this is so mixed up...my thoughts are in a jumble.

Hello lyndee: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Honestly, I'm not qualified to comment with regard to your concerns. From what you wrote, though, it certainly does sound as though this man has some issues. Here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives that may be of some interest:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...-a-narcissist/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...-a-narcissist/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2...-a-narcissist/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recov...gratification/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...-in-your-life/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...so-attractive/

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

Hi Lyndee! I spent 15 yrs with NPD husband. Much of what you speak about sounds familiar. I found a lot of good descriptive info on The Narcissist's Wife blog. It was one of my first connections about NPD and helped me realize a lot. In any case, the fact you're here questioning and presenting this data shows you see the red flags. If you're looking for confirmation I'd say yes, those are absolutely red flags. Don't dismiss it or talk yourself out of seeing them. I was like a shadow after years spent this way. You can't imagine.

I'm pretty sure I had a relationship with a man who had narcissistic personality disorder...not that he would have ever gone to get it diagnosed or treated. He did the whole threaten to abandon me thing too. It really sucked. I'm not sure that the diagnosis is as important as starting to realize that these are his problems, not yours, and that you don't deserve this kind of treatment.