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Smsnipes
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Default Mar 02, 2018 at 09:10 AM
  #1
Hello,

I recently got out of a relationship with whom I believe from countless hours of research could have NPD. I hate to self diagnose, but at this point its all that I have. My question is this; Is it common for someone that has NPD to have phobias such as claustrophobia or others linked? Why I ask is that my now ex girlfriend, even during the initial love bombing phase of the relationship for the first month or so would say she was claustrophobic when id put my hands on her head while kissing, or if she was beneath me while kissing. I could tell she was genuine in her fear and that she was definitely not faking it. Any insight is appreciated!
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Atypical_Disaster
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Default Mar 02, 2018 at 01:40 PM
  #2
Narcissists are perfectly capable of fear and of having phobias, they have emotions just like everyone else.
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Default Mar 02, 2018 at 05:48 PM
  #3
Breaking news,”Narcissists have feelings too” just like real people...
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Default Mar 02, 2018 at 06:48 PM
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Originally Posted by NothingPeopleDo View Post
Breaking news,”Narcissists have feelings too” just like real people...
Maybe I should have reworded my question to ask, are they more likely to have linked anxieties and phobias than non npd's? I thought I read somewhere that female npds are linked to having a higher chance of bipolar 2 and other general anxieties. I'll see if I can find the source.
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Default Mar 03, 2018 at 11:59 AM
  #5
I believe when others talk about NPD it becomes such a diluted discussion that it is very hard for people to truly understand. So many have been hurt by ones like me that the descriptions become attacking and misleading other than factional. It's easy to see, just look up NPD and you get all the NPD scholars with their points that are from a place of hurt rather than facts.
A great quote I have used many times here:

NPD is one of the few conditions where the patient is left alone and everyone else is treated. Very true!!!
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Default Mar 03, 2018 at 10:42 PM
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Originally Posted by NothingPeopleDo View Post
I believe when others talk about NPD it becomes such a diluted discussion that it is very hard for people to truly understand. So many have been hurt by ones like me that the descriptions become attacking and misleading other than factional. It's easy to see, just look up NPD and you get all the NPD scholars with their points that are from a place of hurt rather than facts.
A great quote I have used many times here:

NPD is one of the few conditions where the patient is left alone and everyone else is treated. Very true!!!
How do people -- anybody -- get beyond hurt. People may have retaliatory and avoidance feelings toward people who have hurt us, for good reason. BUT THEN WHAT.

Looking at facts -- then we have a chance to do something differently, to change things. That's what science does. Why not psychology? Possibly because the study of personality disorders isn't done by science-oriented psychologists but by the clinical psychologists, whose focus is "therapy". It's a real messed up system, I think, but not one I see any way to help change any time in the near future.

I'm willing to looked at my messed up ways of doing things and try to learn to do some things better. But I've given up on "therapy" after more years of believing that it would "help" than I'd like to admit. I'm currently trying the support group "Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families". I would prefer something that provided more non-judgmental feedback about how I come across to people, but lots of folks are leery of that. What I would like is to look at the facts -- sorry about the hurt, yeah sure (and I for one really mean that, I have a horrible problem with shame and guilt), but THEN WHAT. Shame, guilt, and regret don't change the past, and if you don't have any understanding and acceptance of why you do things that hurt other people, then it's going to be very hard to change or "make amends" no matter how much you may want to.

That's my experience, anyway. But, like I said, I don't have NPD. Just a Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.
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Default May 08, 2018 at 04:34 AM
  #7
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Originally Posted by Smsnipes View Post
Hello,

I recently got out of a relationship with whom I believe from countless hours of research could have NPD. I hate to self diagnose, but at this point its all that I have. My question is this; Is it common for someone that has NPD to have phobias such as claustrophobia or others linked? Why I ask is that my now ex girlfriend, even during the initial love bombing phase of the relationship for the first month or so would say she was claustrophobic when id put my hands on her head while kissing, or if she was beneath me while kissing. I could tell she was genuine in her fear and that she was definitely not faking it. Any insight is appreciated!
I believe that any narcissist can have any phobia because they feel emotions like anybody else. I have met many narcissists with different phobias.

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