I am a Narcissist. Help! - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-26-2018, 03:34 PM #1
kleanchap kleanchap is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 3
kleanchap kleanchap is offline
New Member
kleanchap has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 3

5 yr Member
5 hugs
given
Default I am a Narcissist. Help!

Hello,

Recently I was try to understand someone who is very clingy, blaming me/others etc. So I started reading general literature which lead me toward Manipulative people. The more I started reading, the direction went towards Narcissist Personality Disorder. The scary thing is that I have lot of these traits in me. Lot of self reflection before I can say that "I am a Narcissist".

I know for sure that I got it from my Dad. So much of my life, I have lived with the NPD behavior and thinking. I am feeling very ashamed about this self discovery! How do I change? I do work hard and do not cheat. However, the few traits that are bother me. The "entitlement" trait makes me so complacent and stops me from learning more and doing more. I think I "know it all".

How do I change my thinking/behavior patterns for the remainder of my life?

Any advice and pointers to help is much appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

Regards,

K
kleanchap is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:

advertisement
Old 04-26-2018, 11:27 PM #2
here today here today is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 3,010
here today here today is offline
Grand Magnate
here today has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 3,010

5 yr Member
1,070 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I am a Narcissist. Help!

Hi kleanchap,

I'm more of a covert narcissist, overtly often the opposite, codependent.

And my personal experience has been that therapists don't really know how to help much with narcissistic disorders. I've never tried it myself -- there aren't any certified therapists near me -- but I like what I've read about schema therapy. Other, "regular", therapy hasn't helped much for me and may have been harmful. So be careful.

The important thing, I think, is to remember is that NPD usually develops as a response to an early social environment (family and parents) who didn't/couldn't help us develop "normally". Oh well, too bad, this is now. But it's not like we had a lot of other good choices way back then. We did the best we could, and continue to.

Best of luck to you!
here today is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-24-2018, 10:43 PM #3
ennie's Avatar
ennie ennie is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: United States of America
Posts: 792
ennie ennie is offline
Grand Member
ennie's Avatar
ennie has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: United States of America
Posts: 792 (SuperPoster!)

1,649 hugs
given
Default Re: I am a Narcissist. Help!

The fact that you are not in denial, and that you are open to even consider yourself a narcissist, shows that you are a healthy person. A real narcissist would always shift the blame on someone else. I think you are already half-way there towards growth and improvement. But I also think having a private therapist is helpful for anyone to work on personal issues. We take care of our physical and dental health. So we could all add taking care of our mental health to the routine. I wish you the best!

Last edited by ennie; 10-24-2018 at 10:50 PM. Reason: typo
ennie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-25-2018, 04:56 AM #4
mogwai's Avatar
mogwai mogwai is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Australia
Posts: 45
mogwai mogwai is offline
Member
mogwai's Avatar
mogwai has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Australia
Posts: 45

11 hugs
given
Default Re: I am a Narcissist. Help!

From what I've read, narcissists often don't recognise they have a personality disorder. And if they do, they don't care about it. Because you feel so scared and ashamed of these apparent traits, and you're so open and eager to change, I really doubt you have NPD. Why do you want to change? What's scary about it?

Sometimes children of narcissists can show traits, because that's how they were raised and it's sort of a defence mechanism against the parent. But it's not "true" NPD. A lot of people have traits of narcissism (distinguished from the personality disordered version), it doesn't make them NPD. I would urge you to see a psychiatrist first before you go adopting such a serious label. I'm no psychiatrist obviously, but I think NPD of all things is one that you don't want to self-diagnose.
mogwai is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-25-2018, 05:45 AM #5
HowDoYouFeelMeow?'s Avatar
HowDoYouFeelMeow? HowDoYouFeelMeow? is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 647
HowDoYouFeelMeow? HowDoYouFeelMeow? is offline
Veteran Member
HowDoYouFeelMeow?'s Avatar
HowDoYouFeelMeow? has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 647

3 yr Member
691 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I am a Narcissist. Help!

It is quite possible for narcissists to recognize that they have such a personality disorder, as HT has demonstrated. (Hat tip to HT!)

Itís important to ask why a narcissist wants to change, though. They could seek change for narcissistic reasons such as they donít like the label, want others to like them more, or want to feel better about themselves. A non-narcissistic reason could be that they want to stop hurting others, regardless of how such a change affects their own feelings or othersí perceptions (real or imagined) of them.

Itís complicated.

Good luck!
HowDoYouFeelMeow? is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-28-2018, 06:57 AM #6
Restin's Avatar
Restin Restin is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2003
Location: Central Florida, USA
Posts: 523
Restin Restin is offline
Veteran Member
Restin's Avatar
Restin has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2003
Location: Central Florida, USA
Posts: 523

15 yr Member
1 hugs
given
Default Re: I am a Narcissist. Help!

I was totally shocked to see that i'm a full-blown narcissist. All i wanted was for my inner child needs to be dependent on T and discuss my little girl loneliness for a mother. But I would get angry, shouting, and accusing to T when she seemed rejecting or urging me to grow up and expand. I got rageful because my inner child was terrified of rejection and coercion. Now T has convinced me I'm a demanding, rude, sarcastic, intrusive, control freak like a typical narcissist. OK, so I see this.

I'm the opposite of a sweet lost little girl just searching for a mother figure by friending my T. Instead T informs me that I'm an intrusive, demanding, mean *****. I feel shocked and guilty, and don't know what to do. T says she doesn't hate me because it's therapy. I agree with those posting above that seeing yourself as others see you is the only way to start working on it. It isn't your fault you got narse, because it was your early parenting that did this to you. Psychiatrists explain its a way of defending yourself that needs to be modified into a better way to relate to people so they will be accepting instead of rejecting. A good therapist should be able to deal with you,and me, without excessive judgment, as this narse problem has become a major in society lately. I know, it's really hard to face the guilt and shame, that's for sure.
Restin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 10-28-2018, 08:15 AM #7
Borderline69's Avatar
Borderline69 Borderline69 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 96
Borderline69 Borderline69 is offline
Member
Borderline69's Avatar
Borderline69 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 96

1 hugs
given
Default Re: I am a Narcissist. Help!

I'm not a Dr. So please dont quote me on this. From my understanding there isnt z fix for narcissism unfortunately. People with narcissism ALWAYS blame everyone else but themselves for their setbacks. Narcissism at its core is severe insecurity. People with narcissism cant accept responsibility for their flaws and bad behavior, they wont under any circumstances. With narcissism comes a lot of shame and guilt bc people with narcissism know right from wrong, they know they are shifting the blame into people who have done nothing wrong.

I think the only way to inner peace as a narcissist is to OPENLY ADMIT they have severe blaming and irresponsibility issues, this way when they act out in anger ( yes narricistic folks have a lot of anger) people might be a bit more sympathetic to your issues knowing you are fully aware of our narcissism and feel remorseful for your bad behavior. It isnt your fault, keep youself in ck when you feel the urge to be hateful.
Borderline69 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:40 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.