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Old 03-20-2019, 09:50 AM #1
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Default Anyone experiencing this?

Hey all, I don't prominently stay on this forum but definitely see commonalities both in self, family, and past. I'm wondering if sadism had any large part in the history or families of those here. I've experienced as much and wondering if there was a pattern to it. And for any who wouldn't mind sharing, do you suspect it passed down the line, perhaps genetic hereditary or behaviorly past done. Thank you
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Old 03-20-2019, 12:33 PM #2
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Default Re: Anyone experiencing this?

There is/was a dissociated part in me, and I believe there was something similar in my mother and grandmother. I never mentioned the word "sadistic" to a therapist -- afraid of the potential rejection if I did? Or maybe that part was just realistically aware of other people's reactions to it. I eventually got a diagnosis of DDNOS (now OSDD) and PDNOS, never NPD or ASPD.

I had no real control of the "sadistic" part, though when it was very "active" I could direct it back against myself (or, other parts of myself?) for the most part. I think it was passed down mostly through interpersonal dynamics, though genetics may have played a role. My grandmother's grandfather owned slaves in Alabama and moved after the Civil War to Brazil, where slaves were still legal until about the 1880's I think. He never set foot on the soil in the U.S. after he left, as I understood it, although my grandmother's mother came back as a young woman, got married and had her family in Alabama. From what little I can tell I believe she was narcissistic, my grandmother wasn't, exactly, but the descriptions I have read of the "narcissistic family" seem to fit mine, somewhat. It was a family of mostly "good people", people who tried to "do good" -- maybe for appearance sake, but whatever else was there?
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Old 04-05-2019, 09:52 AM #3
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Default Re: Anyone experiencing this?

Sadism definitely runs in my family.

I have a sadistic side myself. I've never attempted to throw any shade at people about it either. People that are around me for long enough are generally aware of my sadism.
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Old 04-30-2019, 05:00 PM #4
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Default Re: Anyone experiencing this?

Hi redsoxrule
I know NPD families: mine and the one of my wife.
I recapitulated my grand mother and found that she fits into the NPD-pattern, my mother as well.
Luckily for me, I was raised by my father from very young age, and unluckily for my sister, she was raised 10 years later by my mother and shows clear signs of notirous lying and NPD.
In my wife's family, I can trace, as well, from the grandmother, to the mother of my wife to my wife and unfortunately even to my oldest son, as he was raised only by his mother when he was between 1.5 and 3 years of age, while all my other children where raised (as well) by "nannies" or me.

My wife had no sadistic bodily ambitions, slight masochistic tendencies to stirr up empathy. But verbally she is extremely sadistic, loves to hurt people before others with brazen extreme lies and with the feeling that she is "the queen", allowed to do anything to anyone and holy to anyone.

My sister, on the other hand seems to have both masochistic and sadistic tendencies, but I have not seen her since a long time and can only guess from what I heared from others (i.e. about police actions after brutal fightings of her with her husband).

What I can definately say is that my wife always MUST WIN any fight, never give in, rather destroy everything. She needs ther "power" to define "what is real" and the other must submit and believe her, give her trust or she starts hurting the "unbelievers" by words and possible even by hitting, until there is submission from all under her control.
That is, basically, sadism , isn't it?

Best wishes
David
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