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Bookworm257
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Bookworm257 "I don't need therapy I'm just mentally ill" -Tracy Jordan
 
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Question May 19, 2020 at 11:03 PM
  #1
I think I might be a narcissist, but I'm not sure. I don't know if it's something I should discuss with my therapist or not.

I hardly ever apologize and always see things as "I'm the victim, I'm right, and you're attacking me, you're wrong." I lie about things I do and I feel guilty about them but my strong discomfort with admitting I was wrong nearly always overpowers any guilt. I'm admitting my bad things on here but only because this is anonymous and people on here don't actually know me.

I do have empathy, but it definitely wasn't always that way. I have trained myself to see things from others' perspectives and to have concerned feelings for those in pain or trouble but only recently has this really been a thing for me. Before I would care about people who were suffering only out of obligation or "I'm supposed to/told to" or "I don;t want people to think I am a bad person who doesn't care" and not out of actually feeling bad.

I can be lazy and irresponsible. I used to lie all the time about doing homework, and it would be a struggle to get me to participate in class at times. I procrastinate constantly out of laziness and sometimes don't do household chores.

I cannot take criticism. I get defensive, upset, and internally crumble. People say they were trying to help or were jsut concerned, but to me everything is criticism. Only veeeery recently did I become self-aware of this one, but I still do it all the time. I now realize that sometimes people are just concerned or trying to help, but for 99% of my life it was like I had something in my brain blocking me completely from seeing that in any way.

Now that I am working on my empathy I realize I don't want to hurt other people with my behavior and want to change it, but what do you think?
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Default May 20, 2020 at 12:35 PM
  #2
I think there are lots of reasons people can feel like you've described. It might be more productive to make a list of some, or all, of the things in your email that you feel comfortable talking with your therapist about and asking about those things, rather than about a label for them.
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Default May 24, 2020 at 02:02 AM
  #3
People use the term narcissist liberally, often as a shorthand way of expressing disapproval of someone else.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, though, has specific criteria, which are laid out in the DSM-5 manual. You could take a look at them.

You mentioned that you used to lack empathy and you have been working on it and getting better at it. That's admirable! And does not argue that you are a narcissist.

Last edited by Bill3; May 24, 2020 at 02:17 AM..
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Default May 25, 2020 at 12:44 AM
  #4
I'd worry less about the label and focus more about the behaviours you're exhibiting and wanting to improve on. So far you're on the right track!

If you're interested in learning more about NPD, take Bill's advice. Jot down any specific traits you see in yourself that you're willing to work on.

And why stop there? There are other personality disorders that have traits that overlap. Check out Borderline Personality Disorder, too. Not because I think you have it, but because it'll show similar traits.
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Default May 28, 2020 at 06:41 PM
  #5
Hi

I think something to remember is that if a professional thinks it is narcissism at all, the traits are on a continuum, so NPD may not be applicable. The traits however are important to mention with examples as well to paint the picture.

Good thing is that NPD and narcissism near to the actual diagnosis is usually with little or no insight, while you seem to see these patterns in your life.

"Full-blown" narcissists tend to never seek help, as they do not see any reason to improve on anything, or that anything is wrong.

That being said, there are other avenues to explore as reasons for certain behaviors, but more import than that is identifying and working on the behaviors themselves.

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