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Old 04-20-2009, 05:02 AM #11
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It has to be worse for you having it be your husband who is the N. Our daughter is the same way. The one thing she has done is she has gone through her schooling. At 42, she has never held down a job, and I really fear she is going to use this education to take advantage of the elderly more than she has before. I hope that doesn't happen, she could end up in jail. I hope that your husband at least gets some counseling; maybe that would help you. I feel bad for you. You must be tough to stick with him so long.
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Old 04-20-2009, 07:16 PM #12
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Originally Posted by CJR520 View Post
It has to be worse for you having it be your husband who is the N. Our daughter is the same way. The one thing she has done is she has gone through her schooling. At 42, she has never held down a job, and I really fear she is going to use this education to take advantage of the elderly more than she has before. I hope that doesn't happen, she could end up in jail. I hope that your husband at least gets some counseling; maybe that would help you. I feel bad for you. You must be tough to stick with him so long.
He's 3 classes shy of his BA and is trying to finish which is why I thought he was more reliable now, but unfortunately he is the same. I think over the years I have secretly hoped that he would get it together but his personality can be challenging for those who live with him, for those who don't they just think he is the greatest thing since sliced bread!

Counseling, we've tried many, many times and either he says I am on the problem or rationalizes every single thing that has occurred over the twenty years that we have known each other. Unfortunately, our dd does not understand the manipulation and loves him to death! I think, however, that she is beginning to recognize that something is amiss. If I weren't ill and needed his help with her, their would have been no way on earth that I would be living with him again. I pray every day that my health continues to get better so that I will not need his help with her!


Best Wishes,


TJ
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Thyroid disorders can cause depression and can mimic bipolar disorder... Please read below regarding one form, hypothyroidism, and have your numbers checked...TSH, T3, T4, Free T3, Free T4, and Thyroid Antibodies (for Graves Disease and Hashimotos Disease (which mimics BP)
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Old 04-20-2009, 10:54 PM #13
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N's seek out people that they can manipulate, all to late, I see that now! Unfortunatley, my codepedency helped a lot because my exhusband is an N! He has hurt many, many people who loved and cared for him in his life but he has no remorse, he says that he somehow made it up to them all...except me of course!

N's will lie and lie and lie...they will steal from you and tell you to your face that it was YOUR FAULT! N's are disturbed people and can really make you feel insane and that you are the problem.

In this case, I don't think he even knows that he is an N, but he does know that he is very dysfunctional. He never completes anything! He seems to not have a grasp of who he "really" is and what he does to people. He always has to feel better than other people and dresses the part, he only deals with professional people. He has nothing to show for 48 years of his life...no home...no car...no friends...except for our dd and he has manipulated her to believe that I am the evil one...heavy sigh!


TJ
OMG, this sounds like my sister. She IS reasonably successful-she is a high school English teacher-but she is manipulative, talks down to people, preys on weaknesses, etc. She is also on her 3rd marriage (at 37)

It is exhausting to deal with her. Truly freaking exhausting.
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Old 04-21-2009, 03:17 PM #14
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OMG, this sounds like my sister. She IS reasonably successful-she is a high school English teacher-but she is manipulative, talks down to people, preys on weaknesses, etc. She is also on her 3rd marriage (at 37)

It is exhausting to deal with her. Truly freaking exhausting.

You said it "TRULY FREAKING EXHAUSTING EVERY SINGLE DAY!" As a result of all of his dysfunction, he has lost all of his good friends but one who still tries to support him. The other ones gave up and refuse to deal with him anymore, including one that he grew up with that was like his ONLY brother! It's sad but he's like a kid that you have to watch constantly!

Best Wishes,

TJ
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Thyroid disorders can cause depression and can mimic bipolar disorder... Please read below regarding one form, hypothyroidism, and have your numbers checked...TSH, T3, T4, Free T3, Free T4, and Thyroid Antibodies (for Graves Disease and Hashimotos Disease (which mimics BP)
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Old 04-21-2009, 06:43 PM #15
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You said it "TRULY FREAKING EXHAUSTING EVERY SINGLE DAY!" As a result of all of his dysfunction, he has lost all of his good friends but one who still tries to support him. The other ones gave up and refuse to deal with him anymore, including one that he grew up with that was like his ONLY brother! It's sad but he's like a kid that you have to watch constantly!

Best Wishes,

TJ
She currently hates me because I live with our parents. (Just left an abusive husband, had no money and nowhere to go, so here I am.) She told my parents that they can't see her kids because I live here and she hates me.

Why does she hate me? Because in the course of the hurried move, she volunteered to take care of my Pomeranian, Moxie, until I could get my own place. A few weeks later, she gave away or sold Moxie and will not give me any information about where she is. She finds it completely unreasonable that I am angry about it.

So...she is punishing her kids and my parents.

I get tired trying to deal with her. My parents have opted to not react at all, which is probably the smartest move.
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Old 04-23-2009, 05:52 AM #16
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That is pretty much what I have done with my daughter. Just cut it off!! There are always people who will not or cannot understand you, but sometimes we have to take care of ourselves. Others just see that sweet person who they don't know is getting ready to take advantage of them and use them for all they are worth! My daughter had only one friend, a Mennonite lady, who she has used to death. Now, this lady is catching on, and my daughter will find someone else to use, then disgard.
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Old 05-09-2009, 05:39 AM #17
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I saw a picture of my daughter with others in college. Even in the picture, the rest of the students are turned just enough away from her, and in a different direction that you can just tell by body language, that they don't want to be close to her. I am farther away from her, but seeing things that have gone on for years, and I did not realize, as a Mom, what was going on. It is sad!
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Old 05-09-2009, 10:39 PM #18
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Hi, I am new here. I looking for a place to find out if my niece would be classified having Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have read your post
and see basically the same traits with her. She is in her mid twenties,
can not hold a job (it is always someone else's problem why she does
not want to work there). She always looks beautiful and watches
what she eats and her weigh. If you get into an arguement, it is usually
a nasty one. She is controlling and she really knows how to use people.
I am really afraid of her safety. If this is not what she has as a disorder,
can you sugguest some other kind of disorder that I can look up. Thanks
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Old 05-12-2009, 05:55 AM #19
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Hi, I am new here. I looking for a place to find out if my niece would be classified having Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have read your post
and see basically the same traits with her. She is in her mid twenties,
can not hold a job (it is always someone else's problem why she does
not want to work there). She always looks beautiful and watches
what she eats and her weigh. If you get into an arguement, it is usually
a nasty one. She is controlling and she really knows how to use people.
I am really afraid of her safety. If this is not what she has as a disorder,
can you sugguest some other kind of disorder that I can look up. Thanks
That's my daughter, but it could be other things also. We have been going through this since she was a young child, and she is 42 now. I feel for you, and her family. My daughter has used everyone in the family, and has no where else to go now.
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Old 05-12-2009, 09:42 PM #20
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Thank you for replying CJR and I feel for you. I guess I am the lucky one, because I brought my kids up by respecting others. If is very hard for me to watch my neice bringing up a child. He daughter is still young. But there are a few times I hear a comment that she makes and I just wonder if she will be like her mom.
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