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Old 07-11-2015, 06:10 PM #71
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Default Re: Welcome to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder forum

These folks sound more like sociopaths than narcissist... maybe I am wrong...
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Old 11-14-2015, 09:28 PM #72
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Default Re: Welcome to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder forum

The terminology of psychology/psychiatry has changed over the decades. The term psychopath was replaced by sociopath. Sociopath was then replaced by cluster B personality disorders. ASPD, NPD, BPD, & HPD.
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Old 01-02-2016, 07:08 AM #73
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Default Re: Welcome to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder forum

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brooke87 View Post
My boyfriend fits this to a t.. My question is how to combat it. He constàntly critics me and tries to tell me I'm a bad person.. He has to be in control.. He has a good heart and I love him .. He justifies his actions by saying I make him.he is soooo good at turning the tables making me the bad guy. Ive tried to be submissive but that doesn't work.. I need help to put him in his place, at the same time leaving him no room to use me as a scapegoat .
My N husband was an alcoholic. I had no idea about N at the time. the steps suggested by Alcoholics Anonymous to move past enabling behaviors helped me regain some perspective and stop reacting to my husbands behaviors. "your an idiot, unattractive, disloyal, undeserving of an amazing man like me who could have any woman I want" stops being enjoyable for them when met with a calm "that must be difficult for you" "is that what you believe" etc
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Old 02-25-2016, 10:19 PM #74
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Arrow Re: Welcome to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder forum

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Originally Posted by Mouse_ View Post
I'm hesitant to get involved when I read posts wanting to label someone with narcissistic disorder. Especially reading such comments as having to deal with it since they were a child, makes me think, can a child be born narcissistic? I mean apart from the normal state of narcissism we are born into? I wonder at times if perhaps the pattern is continuing into the child's adulthood? The family only seeing the child as "using" the rest of the family when infarct a child will of course need to "use" family as thats what children do until they mature and learn that others are people too, but to expect that from a child, well is pretty near-sighted and narcissistic in itself? Perhaps if there was real genuine family concern, one perhaps would want to look at ways to help the family member rather than just label them? Or are they at a stage where they themselves don't know what to do, are unable to think through any more? Or where they always at a stage where they were tired of the family members wants and needs and didn't want to even begin to think through issues with the family member as they arose? I get the impression a lot of people want to be thrown the narcissistic label like a life belt and then they can claim "victim status" and fill secure in their own minds they were the ones being done too and not the ones that did too also? Perhaps we all in this together and more compassion and understanding may change the pattern that I see repeated often. Of course this are only my own personal feelings on the matter, some who have a genuine interest in wanting to understand another may agree, or others that have no real altruistic desire will just dismiss all of what I say, because it suits them for it to be like that.
I'm new on here and wondering what makes someone with a true narcissist personality lose her temper ?
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Old 02-26-2016, 10:53 AM #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Swedishtoe View Post
I'm new on here and wondering what makes someone with a true narcissist personality lose her temper ?
As true a personality type as a person might have, they still have their own variables as far as individual personality, traits, and temper are concerned. It's been my experience that a person with NPD can actually have a very precise way of dealing with other people that doesn't involve losing their temper at all, though I'm not suggesting that's true for every person fitting the NPD diagnostic construct (or its subtypes).

Inasmuch as they prefer the feeling of being in control (as anyone does, but they are perhaps more tethered to their desire to feel and be in control), feeling not in control can cause them fairly intense emotional stress, whether or not that stress expresses itself specifically as anger.

Best way to find out what causes a person to lose their own temper might be to ask them. Just my take.
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Antonio R. Damasio, “The Feeling of What Happens: Body and Emotion in the Making of Consciousness” (p.28)
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Old 03-01-2016, 08:36 AM #76
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Control is the root of all evil(not quoting, just summarizing).. Way to hit it on the head Vonmoxie, I appreciate what you wrote here!!
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Old 03-14-2016, 02:33 PM #77
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I'm new on here and wondering what makes someone with a true narcissist personality lose her temper ?
I was with a N for close to three years. First they start of so loving and attentive. They make you feel like you are their everything. Then they turn on a dime. I will say they are very good liars. What they say about you is what they tend to feel about themselves. I was told I was "needy" yet he is 31 and cant live without someone supporting him. Mine was abusive as well. I would catch him on chats with other girls and it would turn into a huge argument, one of which I ended up physically hurt.
He would tell me I don't turn him on and that he is not into sex and deny me months at a time. Yet I would catch him on meetme.com which is basically a hook up site. I would avoid an N if you can. It will only hurt you in the end. I did hours and hours of research on them and tried to convince myself that I could change him, he was different than the others.
The reason some of us believe this is because they can throw on the tears when necessary. They will act like they are good people but step back and observe. Mine would say how much he loved his parents and yet he would bleed them for every dime they had. He went to jail for being violent with his mother. When we are the person in the circle we don't see it from the third party perspective. The most intelligent of us can make some really stupid choices. When we love someone we have rose colored glasses. From day one my friends didn't like him. In fact most people didn't. I would say "he is so selfless" and they would say "really? that's not my perspective." I would say if you have not grown feelings of love for this person and you believe them to be an N. Run!
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Old 12-17-2016, 07:00 PM #78
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Default Re: Welcome to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder forum

Greetings.

I've received a multiple diagnoses of personality disorders from various psychiatrists recently. They've varied somewhat, but the one I've received most often is NPD, though the most recent was simply 'mixed personality disorder'. Nevertheless, I did meet enough criteria for NPD in the recent diagnosis, too.

What do I think of the NPD diagnosis? Well, honestly, it doesn't really bother me at all. Actually, I rather like the idea of being a narcissist because it feels like the label validates me when I look down on the world for not going my way; I like that I'm deviant. However, apparently I'm more of a vulnerable narcissist, as I spend a lot of envying others and lamenting what I don't have. I'm in therapy because I also have depression and A LOT of anger, and that's getting in the way of my goals.

What do I want? Power, above all—wealth, influence, physical strength, and other kinds of worldly success...all of it, and the satisfaction of using my power to shape the world as I desire to be. Admiration, too, and that of millions. I wasn't celebrated enough to my satisfaction when I was growing up. It seemed like everyone else got their time on stage receiving the praise of an applauding audience, whereas insufficient talent in the eyes of others or simply fate prevented me from receiving the same as other children. At any rate, power and admiration are more important to me than morality and love (from what I know of the last; I don't experience a lot of it), though I generally follow rules and laws because I want to avoid the shame of being convicted of wrongdoing or crime (besides having a criminal conviction obstruct my goals). Sometimes, though, there are outbursts, and when that happens, I'll happily steamroll anyone who gets in my way.

I'm currently in a DBT programme, though my psychologist is also familiar with schema therapy, and may be using some elements of that as well. So far, it's been helping me cope with the extreme emotions when they come and preventing me from getting into trouble. As far as I'm concerned, what I want to get out of therapy is suffering less. I would never give up or tone down my ambitions for success, and my psychologist has emphasised that he doesn't want me to do so, because if he did, I'd make committing suicide a high priority.

Anyhow, that's me. I'm curious to meet other people who maybe experience some of the same stuff.
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Old 12-22-2016, 01:06 AM #79
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I've been with someone I suspect has strong narcissistic traits a year...known him several years before as on off friends, lovers etc. We got engaged fall last year, broke up and he moved out of my place march as I had rage side effects from anxiety medication i was on, he moved out..he originally asked me to take the meds so I'd stop worrying about him when he works late...because I'd call a lot...after we broke up, we see each other again over march and say we are going to repair our relationship....I see msgs in his tablet to other girls....all on days he claimed he couldn't talk to me on the phone cause I argue too much. But he found time to flirt. By May, he's needs money for an emergency, I can't give it to him. So he sleeps with his ex to convince her to give him money (he was with her as fwb for years for money...he says he never gave her a ring because he's not attracted...his brother confirmed this). He tells me after. I forgive him because we are technically broken up still....but I blow up at him in person about the tablet messages to girls and scratch his arms. He ignores me after.
We make up in June and have sex.
The same day we make up and agree to work on us, he sleeps with another girl because again he has another emergency and wants to sweet talk her to give him money that I don't have.
He tells me we aren't technically engaged at the moment (this was june) and because I worked as a dancer it's the same as him sleeping with girls. I said it's not because I don't have any sex...oral or regular. He insisted dancing is the same as what he does....sleeping with exes who loan him money.
Eventually he admits he's wrong and we move in again end of june. I gave up my place for him. We say we're engaged again...we put up new Facebook pics. He says he deleted instagram instead of adding me.
He loses his job mid summer 2016, I help him out numerous occasions with money from my dancing. He starts to disappear for three days at a time doing his new driving job he gets, ignoring my calls not calling, and barely texting and returning each time explaining he has to stay with friends because I argue too much. A cycle begins where I blow up into extreme fits of rage over my frustration...over what he put me through. Each time he disappears and comes home, I blow up because he's gone. He says my blowing up is a reason he has to leave for 2-3 days each time to go to his guy friends.
Eventually I stop blowing up, he still leaves every week for several days saying he doesn't like to be controlled or told when to come home, I say if he wants to marry, he needs to answer to someone, especially because he keeps saying he wants me to get pregnant and have his baby...the main reason he sees me as his wife and gave me a ring back in fall 2015. To move in with him, I gave up my apt, so i have nowhere to go. Three months go by until Oct 2016 where he leaves every week for several days...always saying he can't be controlled...but still wanting me physically...still wanting me to wear my ring...still saying he dreams of me having his child. I finally leave Nov and go out of state to live with my mother. He texts me randomly throughout the month accusing me of being with guys because I don't text right away. I tell him he has no business saying that cause I moved because he abandoned me, refused to answer the phone when I lived with him, and came and left as he wanted. During the time he did this, I found dinner receipts charged under an exes name. I screamed at him over all the lies. He insisted I'm crazy and it was just to pay her back. I felt like I lost my mind that day,..scratched him...hit him.
This past month Dec, I ask if i can stay at his place on the couch to look for jobs, since I quit dancing and want to do sales jobs again. He says he's ready to get our marriage certificate and agrees with my previous suggestion from a month ago, that we hold onto it for a few months to motivate us to go to therapy and get help until right before it expires and then get married if we can fix our relationship. We go get the marriage application. He loses half the day he could have worked getting it. Next day his car glass gets shattered. He uses his car for work. He calls me asking for money because rent is due the next day. I say no at first because I lent him money many times over the summer and he disappeared for days after, and I'm down to a low amount of money because I'm not dancing anymore...esp since he said he didn't like it and that's why he disappeared all summer. He gets upset and says he'll have to visit friends all night I break down at the end of the convo offering money but he talks over me and hangs up. He doesn't come home that night...he doesn't come home three days....so i go back to my mothers out of state....he admits he saw another friend he slept with and convinced to give him money.
I am furious. He doesn't seem to care at all when just a few days before we got a marriage application ready to sign when we make it official a few months later and he said he wanted me to have his child.
I told him I understand he has no family to turn to like me in emergency money situations and the last day to pay rent was the day after his car glass was broken and he uses his car for work, but it's not acceptable to just sleep with exes and get money from them when he has a fiance...that we could have found another way to get the money for rent together.
I told him I dont want to see him again unless it's in therapy.
He said sorry once in text, has not called once, and only texts me. He said that he feels bad I'm affected so much by his actions. Other than that, not much accountability.

Ugh. I don't know...is therapy worth it? I'm broke and have no income, a going on interviews for day jobs, don't want to dance anymore, i can put aside a day to go to therapy each week with him, but I have to go out of state to go with him because I plan to move back there in my own place when I get more money.
I asked him why he hasn't called since I last saw him and he always acts too busy. I told him if he can't even call, how can he say he loves me. He never liked calling and says he won't call cause I argue too much....we have to plan phone calls ahead. ..this is how it's always been...ugh

Is therapy even going to help...if he even goes with me?
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Old 01-20-2017, 12:41 AM #80
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Can someone help me??
Ive been married for 10 years and I feel like its been an eternity.
I honestly dont know if my husband is a narcissist, has a personality disorder,
Bipolar? Or if he just inherited his dads screwed up gene pool.
Some days are good but more so bad. All i can do is give examples and see what
Comes of it...
We took our grandaughter to a movie and i told him we would just go in and get a seat saved while he got popcorn and drinks, we were waiting a good bit inside
And he still hadnt came so i checked my phone thinking maybe he text needing help but nothing. A while longer passed and no sign of him finally i get a text saying he was leaving and he hopes we enjoy the show oh and our snacks were
At bottom of the theater. Wtf??? I asked him he said he couldnt find us and was pissed cause he kept yelling and i didnt answer. I said why didnt you just text me i would have told you. He ruined my special time with my grandaugter and of course it was my fault.

He has no empathy and its getting harder to live with. He doesn't apologize and
Shows no compassion if im crying. He has been verbally and emotionally abusive again never apologizing.

One day i wanted to go to the fair and just have a nice normal day well
I went to the kitchen and noticed the freezer had been left open all night cause everything was ruined. I told him sbout it thinking he would be bothered ad we would just replace what was lost. WRONG!
He flew into a rage saying his day was ruined and he dodnt want to go anywhere
That all he does is spend money and cursing and slamming stuff that went on for about 20 min. (It was him that didnt close it back all the way)
I dodnt say it but i know it was...i have OCD and i check everything. Ive caught
Him not closing it back before. But again he wont own it. We wound up going to fair but by then my mood had soured and he robbed me of a nice day. But he acted like nothing had happened just an hour before.

My parents are elderly snd my mother has early alzheimers, my sister helps them and i go by to check in as i can. Theres been s few times when i would go by and he would ***** about using gas

We had to go to get my granddaughter to a rehearsal one day and her mom asked if we could stop by her work so she could see herin her outfit.
We were pressed for time and i was trying to gps directions
And my husband kept picking away at me until i broke and cried
I told him i was doing my best and he just coldly said "no you're not"

I can go on and on but i think i already typed too much to read.
I even thought it may be asbergers. Im exhausted and i want to be happy.
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