My OCD Story

Good day everyone. I've been suffering from OCD since I was 14 but I never knew. But it became worse when I was 17. It all started on the 27th of December, 2016 when my cousin told me "**** you". Immediately he said that word, I started thinking about another phrase, "**** God". I didn't initiate this thinking, the thought came out from nowhere. I knew that this kind of thought wanted to enter my head, but I tried to suppress it because it was a blasphemous thought. How'd a Christian be thinking about a blasphemous statement? But the thought still came eventually.
I'm a Christian and my belief was so strong in God to the point of being afraid of him. So I didn't want to do anything to displease him. Anytime the thought comes, I'd leave anything I was doing and focus all my attention on the thought, trying to eliminate it from my head.
It created fear, panic and anxiety in me anytime this thought enters my head. I was really afraid that God would destroy me. And this thought enters my head almost every minute without my permission!
To cut the long story short, my future looks so bleak right now because I can't read anymore. I have no motivation, drive or purpose. I'm just here laying in waste.
OCD has devastated my life.

Hello Ogadi: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest would be the anxiety, panic & phobias forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/anxi...c-and-phobias/

There are a bunch of articles, in PsychCentral's archives, on how to stop obsessing I could provide you with links to. However I know you wrote you can't read anymore. So, just on the chance that you can perhaps check out a couple of short articles, here are 2 on the subject of OCD & religion:

OCD, Guilt and Religion

Scrupulosity: When OCD Targets Your Religious and Moral Values

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

P.S. My own technique for managing intrusive thoughts, as well as troublesome emotions & similar sorts of experiences is a practice referred to as compassionate abiding. Here's a link to a description of the practice:

Relieve Distress By Allowing It: Compassionate Abiding 101 | Mindset: Perspective Is Everything

s Ogadi, welcome

The way I deal with intrusive thoughts probably isn't all that "healthy", for me when I think bad thoughts I tend to fret that it'll make something bad happen to my girl cats so I run up and down the stairs as a way of calming the thoughts down

I have had many Ocd themes. This was one for awhile. If you fret it makes it worse. Try this. Say God I have OCD. I think and say stuff about you I dont like. Please forgive me, you know it is not me. I pray this as a lasting prayer until you see me through this. When you start saying or thinking bad thoughts dont be like Oh no! Im bad I need to pray again. You are giving it attention and that will just be a cycle. Just carry on as you would. You have already said a lasting prayer. No need to repeat it. This helped me. I hope it will help you. I am not saying quit praying or going to church or whatever you do. I am just saying freaking out every time you cuss God will just fuel your OCD. I know its hard. (((Hugs))) Also remember Satan likes that you have this OCD. He is trying to drive a wedge between you and God. He wants you to be afraid of God. It messes your relationship with him up. Satan is Yes! Some fear of God is healthy of course. This is not from God though. This is from Satan. Dont give him that power. There is a verse that says something like if it comes from fear its not from God. Maybe you can find it. Best wishes

I find whisper's idea of running up and down the stairs to be a healthy coping mechanism.

But I also agree that judging yourself for thoughts you can't control will only make things worse. Try and remember that your thoughts are not your actions. You can't control your thoughts, but you can still go to church and be a good Christian.

My brother has severe OCD too actually. He also can't read or do anything. I feel powerless, because there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to help him. Would it be possible for you to see a therapist? I don't know what the mental health system is like in Nigeria.